Dating after lockdown #6 Block him!

[HelloStereo]

Judging by my family tree it was the latter. A fair few of my female ancestors just married someone who lived down the road and then they have about 10 kids

This is why I wonder if dating in those times were easier. Sure it might not be a passionate relationship, more of a partnership borne out of convenience

 

[Clementine]

 

[LaurieLaurie]

I look for that ‘best friend wanna duck them everyday’ vibe. I need to be excited to see their name on my phone and bounce out of bed on the day I’m seeing them. My friends hate it, they think I need to grow up.

 

[whathastheworldcometo]

Is it one inparticular that isn’t responding?

Yes, it is this guy from Bumble.
We chatted for a week or so, had a lot in common and sent each other music (figured out we have the same taste). He then asked me out for a walk on Saturday. On Saturday morning I checked in with him but only got a note in the evening, saying that he was tied up during the day and whether I was free on Sunday or Monday. I responded on Sunday morning, suggesting Monday - and nothing since.

And this wasn't the only time this happened.
Over the last six months or so two more guys suggested dates, we even fixed the day in one case, and then just stopped the conversation.

Why would they do that? Nothing had changed in the interim. Did they just want to see if they could get a date? Losers.

They guy I was seeing also kind of stopped communicating, although he later explained that he was overwhelmed with problems relating to his child, car etc and he did have a lot on. Still, he was able to watch the football and chat with friends.
Anyway, we broke up since but I miss him sooooo much.

 

[Captainmouse]

View attachment 661940

But that can take time, and comes from getting know each other

 

[whathastheworldcometo]

But that can take time, and comes from getting know each other

In my experience, both is true:

I can tell more or less instantly (or at least at the end of the date) if the potential for this closeness is there and then time will tell if there is enough substance so this closeness will last.

 

[LaurieLaurie]

Yes, it is this guy from Bumble.
We chatted for a week or so, had a lot in common and sent each other music (figured out we have the same taste). He then asked me out for a walk on Saturday. On Saturday morning I checked in with him but only got a note in the evening, saying that he was tied up during the day and whether I was free on Sunday or Monday. I responded on Sunday morning, suggesting Monday - and nothing since.

And this wasn't the only time this happened.
Over the last six months or so two more guys suggested dates, we even fixed the day in one case, and then just stopped the conversation.

Why would they do that? Nothing had changed in the interim. Did they just want to see if they could get a date? Losers.

They guy I was seeing also kind of stopped communicating, although he later explained that he was overwhelmed with problems relating to his child, car etc and he did have a lot on. Still, he was able to watch the football and chat with friends.
Anyway, we broke up since but I miss him sooooo much.

I think if they are arranging dates quite early into the conversation a lot of them are looking for a quick fix for their ego. It’s them, not you.

Don’t give the one from Bumble another second of your time. If he does pop up, which I’m sure he will, respond with silence.

 

[Bellaboo83]

Why do men think we want to see a picture of their motorbike on their dating profile

 

[Clementine]

Why do men think we want to see a picture of their motorbike on their dating profile

Compensation.

 

[whathastheworldcometo]

Compensation.

To compensate us for the lack of a fool pic???

 

[justapossum]

I struggle to feel connections too, I’ve only felt one three times. I could have a really great man with his life sorted asking me on a date but if I don’t feel something then I won’t pursue it or give it a chance. My friends think they are the ones I should give a chance to but I know I need a spark from the start because it doesn’t develop for me.

100% agree with this.
It's very rare for me to feel connected to someone, and at one point I genuinely thought I was broken because I struggled to feel anything towards anyone (even if they ticked all of my boxes). But when I do feel that connection - it's an intense one! I always have people telling me that I need to give people a chance and that they will "grow on me" - but I need to fell that "something" towards them otherwise I just don't see the point! If I don't smile every time I think of them, or want to jump on them the second I see them - I don't want it!

 

[LaurieLaurie]

100% agree with this.
It's very rare for me to feel connected to someone, and at one point I genuinely thought I was broken because I struggled to feel anything towards anyone (even if they ticked all of my boxes). But when I do feel that connection - it's an intense one! I always have people telling me that I need to give people a chance and that they will "grow on me" - but I need to fell that "something" towards them otherwise I just don't see the point! If I don't smile every time I think of them, or want to jump on them the second I see them - I don't want it!

This is exactly how I feel.

 

[katyazamo]

What do you do with someone's number/social media etc if you've broken things off or just stopped chatting? The reason I ask... I spoke to a guy possibly around 4 years ago now and it never went anywhere (he didn't bother planning anything, and I could take it or leave it) so I deleted his number and unfollowed him, usual stuff. Fast forward four years and I still see him viewing my instagram stories. Strange, no? He's been with someone for a while now so I don't really get that, I don't care enough to check up on people from years ago.

 

[LaurieLaurie]

What do you do with someone's number/social media etc if you've broken things off or just stopped chatting? The reason I ask... I spoke to a guy possibly around 4 years ago now and it never went anywhere (he didn't bother planning anything, and I could take it or leave it) so I deleted his number and unfollowed him, usual stuff. Fast forward four years and I still see him viewing my instagram stories. Strange, no? He's been with someone for a while now so I don't really get that, I don't care enough to check up on people from years ago.

Men are nosy. I occasionally have the odd ‘Hello stranger!’ message from people from my past but it’s rare I will reply.

Blahhhh. Hormones had me turning down seeing him now I’m feeling needy but I don’t want to show him that so I’m going to have to attention seek with a fire selfie

I hate myself sometimes

 

[HelloStereo]

What do you do with someone's number/social media etc if you've broken things off or just stopped chatting? The reason I ask... I spoke to a guy possibly around 4 years ago now and it never went anywhere (he didn't bother planning anything, and I could take it or leave it) so I deleted his number and unfollowed him, usual stuff. Fast forward four years and I still see him viewing my instagram stories. Strange, no? He's been with someone for a while now so I don't really get that, I don't care enough to check up on people from years ago.

Depends. If there was a massive argument then I delete / block them. If it's just that things have fizzled out and come to a natural ending then I still keep their number and them on my social media. Not that I'd call them or make contact but just because they've not done me wrong enough that I'd want to erase them from my life.

I dated a guy for a while and still follow him on social media. I still look at his stories too not because I have a vested interest in him and what he's up to, but because it's next on my timeline and it would take more effort to skip.

 

[Thank(space)you]

I'm so pleased I have this thread. I now know that messages like the one attached are basically just men looking for a duck but not wanting to say that explicitly.


Also - I know that men who's social media names and tinder names are all different, are likely hiding something

I look for that ‘best friend wanna duck them everyday’ vibe. I need to be excited to see their name on my phone and bounce out of bed on the day I’m seeing them. My friends hate it, they think I need to grow up.

I'm exactly the same as this, I defuse to settle for anything less

 

[LaurieLaurie]

I went one step further than an attention seeking selfie and sent a video showing off some underwear we were talking about yesterday

I'm so pleased I have this thread. I now know that messages like the one attached are basically just men looking for a duck but not wanting to say that explicitly.


Also - I know that men who's social media names and tinder names are all different, are likely hiding something


I'm exactly the same as this, I defuse to settle for anything less

I’m glad we have this thread too, it’s a great way to offload and get stuff off our minds. I can be an over thinker and sometimes just getting it off my chest makes me see clearly.

 

[justapossum]

What do you do with someone's number/social media etc if you've broken things off or just stopped chatting? The reason I ask... I spoke to a guy possibly around 4 years ago now and it never went anywhere (he didn't bother planning anything, and I could take it or leave it) so I deleted his number and unfollowed him, usual stuff. Fast forward four years and I still see him viewing my instagram stories. Strange, no? He's been with someone for a while now so I don't really get that, I don't care enough to check up on people from years ago.

I delete all exes / past dates from social media. For me that door is closed, and I am a pretty private person and I do not want to "share" my life with them.
Additionally, I don't see the reason to keep them unless I'm leaving that door slightly ajar, and I think that's the reason most men like to keep women on social media even if they ghosted them (or things didn't go anywhere), just in case one day they want to slide into your DMs

 

[LaurieLaurie]

Depends. If there was a massive argument then I delete / block them. If it's just that things have fizzled out and come to a natural ending then I still keep their number and them on my social media. Not that I'd call them or make contact but just because they've not done me wrong enough that I'd want to erase them from my life.

I dated a guy for a while and still follow him on social media. I still look at his stories too not because I have a vested interest in him and what he's up to, but because it's next on my timeline and it would take more effort to skip.

I do this too.

Some lads think they can pop in and out.. They get removed.

 

[Mr Sparkle]

Can someone give me a talking-to?

I keep checking the Bumble profile of the guy I'm seeing for a second date tomorrow. It's basically torturing myself as it means I can see he's still tweaking his profile and messaging people.

God this pandemic has mucked up my compass. Pre-2020 I was laid back and a bit of a callous commitment-phobe but here I am, Stalker McStalkerson because of ONE good date.

I delete all exes / past dates from social media. For me that door is closed, and I am a pretty private person and I do not want to "share" my life with them.
Additionally, I don't see the reason to keep them unless I'm leaving that door slightly ajar, and I think that's the reason most men like to keep women on social media even if they ghosted them (or things didn't go anywhere), just in case one day they want to slide into your DMs

Same, ex-anythings watching my social media gives me the heebie-jeebies