If it's a day or so I'd talk to them like normal. If it's more than a few days I just ignore it unless there's a valid reason or they said beforehand "oh I'm going on holiday for a week from tomorrow so I will reply when I get back" etc.
Dating after lockdown #6 Block him!
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His excuse ...just been soo busy at work !
It was the sunny weekend last weekend when he vanished...my red flag warning system is flagging up a wife
Respect the dead
I don’t let them come back.I realised something last night. Instead of getting so upset earlier this week over those messages I shared that they were dismissive etc...I thought about the age difference (11 years) that he’s in his 50s (grumpy old man who drinks too much) and I thought...you know what? It’s not me. I’m a good person I’ve never shown him anything but kindness- I think he just wants to live his miserable life alone, lovebomb people on match for a couple of weeks. But he doesn’t like people (admitted). Absolutely nothing to do with me...no matter what I am, who I am it would not make him change. I can not control that. I think once that clicks in anyone’s head oh realise..it was never me. So we could be supermodels, we could be the funniest kindest person in the room- bad people will act like bad people, No matter how much good comes their way 
And you also need to try to remember you can't love someone into being a better person...all that happens is you loose years of your life hoping they will change, but in my experience that never happens...how a man reveals his personality in the first few weeks of getting to know him is the real man...if the red flags pop up during that time, trust them !I realised something last night. Instead of getting so upset earlier this week over those messages I shared that they were dismissive etc...I thought about the age difference (11 years) that he’s in his 50s (grumpy old man who drinks too much) and I thought...you know what? It’s not me. I’m a good person I’ve never shown him anything but kindness- I think he just wants to live his miserable life alone, lovebomb people on match for a couple of weeks. But he doesn’t like people (admitted). Absolutely nothing to do with me...no matter what I am, who I am it would not make him change. I can not control that. I think once that clicks in anyone’s head oh realise..it was never me. So we could be supermodels, we could be the funniest kindest person in the room- bad people will act like bad people, No matter how much good comes their way
Ladies, I think I’ve found my people!! Just want to share my latest dating horror story. Met a man on Bumble, I kept it easy breezy and reminded myself not to fall too hard too soon. He was very keen, compliments, flowers, nice dates the lot. Then around a month after we’d started seeing each other he began to pull back/act strange. He wouldn’t answer calls, ignored my last message nearly 2 weeks ago and I’ve heard nothing from him since. Nothing had happened to cause the change, he completed ghosted me out of the blue. I’ve been so strong to not message him again but I just want to know what happened! We had that instant spark when we first met and for it to have gone from that to being ghosted has made me feel like tit! My friends were so unsympathetic when he began ghosting me and I felt so crappy and alone. Until my best friend told me to google him and it turns out he’s committed benefit fraud a few years ago totalling over £10k 
I mean that did give me an instant ick and the majority of feelings disappeared however I just can’t quite shake the feeling of rejection/abandonment by being ghosted! It’s so cruel. I know he’s clearly not for me and is actually a rum bag of a person but still! We seemed to have lots in common and it was just nice after a tit year to actually feel wanted by somebody! Obviously a convicted criminal is not what we really want in a partner 
feel like I’ll be alone forever!!
I mean that did give me an instant ick and the majority of feelings disappeared however I just can’t quite shake the feeling of rejection/abandonment by being ghosted! It’s so cruel. I know he’s clearly not for me and is actually a rum bag of a person but still! We seemed to have lots in common and it was just nice after a tit year to actually feel wanted by somebody! Obviously a convicted criminal is not what we really want in a partner feel like I’ll be alone forever!!I love that quoteAnd you also need to try to remember you can't love someone into being a better person...all that happens is you loose years of your life hoping they will change, but in my experience that never happens...how a man reveals his personality in the first few weeks of getting to know him is the real man...if the red flags pop up during that time, trust them !
yes, he lovebombed me, dumped me within weeks for “no chemistry” hasn’t had a single successful relationship since he cheated on his ex wife and she divorced him..I’m 42 I don’t have those years to waste xx
It’s that time of the week….flashback Friday….where all the ghosts emerge from the shadows hoping for a rattle over the weekend 
Bye boys.
Bye boys.WelcomeLadies, I think I’ve found my people!! Just want to share my latest dating horror story. Met a man on Bumble, I kept it easy breezy and reminded myself not to fall too hard too soon. He was very keen, compliments, flowers, nice dates the lot. Then around a month after we’d started seeing each other he began to pull back/act strange. He wouldn’t answer calls, ignored my last message nearly 2 weeks ago and I’ve heard nothing from him since. Nothing had happened to cause the change, he completed ghosted me out of the blue. I’ve been so strong to not message him again but I just want to know what happened! We had that instant spark when we first met and for it to have gone from that to being ghosted has made me feel like tit! My friends were so unsympathetic when he began ghosting me and I felt so crappy and alone. Until my best friend told me to google him and it turns out he’s committed benefit fraud a few years ago totalling over £10k
Afternoon all, just been catching up and see not much has changed - men are still behaving horrendously. @Bettyboo2021 - I wanted to say that I think we all have one relationship that ended before we were ready for it to, and it makes us feel like that may be the one that got away. Logically we can see the bad qualities of that individual, not least because of the way they behaved towards us, but sadly love is not logical.
I noticed that you have clearly kept a record of past messages he sent you - please delete those, delete his number, delete those emails (which I imagine you have read a few times trying to work out what they mean), block him on social media. This is absolutely necessary for your mental well-being. He is toxic for you, and you seem to be drawn back.
Personally I think it’s ok to take some time to grieve a relationship - even if it was a short one - if that person was meaningful to you. Unless you process the feelings you’ll not really be in a position to move on, you’ll compare other men to this person and find them wanting. You might make bad decisions when dating other men just in desperation of wanting to feel something again, get over that person etc. I call it desperation dating and it’s never good.
I ended up going on a date with a man whose photos made me shudder and I found out collected train tickets and offered to get his flatmate to bring them to the pub to show me. He also said that women had “systematically destroyed his life three times over the last five years” and when I enquired how he explained that they hadn’t wanted to see him again after a first date… Needless to say I didn’t stay long and ended up running home so he wouldn’t know where I lived.
I noticed that you have clearly kept a record of past messages he sent you - please delete those, delete his number, delete those emails (which I imagine you have read a few times trying to work out what they mean), block him on social media. This is absolutely necessary for your mental well-being. He is toxic for you, and you seem to be drawn back.
Personally I think it’s ok to take some time to grieve a relationship - even if it was a short one - if that person was meaningful to you. Unless you process the feelings you’ll not really be in a position to move on, you’ll compare other men to this person and find them wanting. You might make bad decisions when dating other men just in desperation of wanting to feel something again, get over that person etc. I call it desperation dating and it’s never good.
I ended up going on a date with a man whose photos made me shudder and I found out collected train tickets and offered to get his flatmate to bring them to the pub to show me. He also said that women had “systematically destroyed his life three times over the last five years” and when I enquired how he explained that they hadn’t wanted to see him again after a first date… Needless to say I didn’t stay long and ended up running home so he wouldn’t know where I lived.
Aww thank you!!!! That means a lot that you reached out to me!!! Luckily I only had a few screenshots of convos (actual messages deleted) but with your advice they are now deleted too! Absolutely agree with that- nothing is more soul destroying than spending your hard earned time getting dressed and putting on makeup to meet someone who you later find out you would cross the street to avoid
this guy sounds like a character please tell me more did you express disbelief that he collected train tickets (like who does!?
) I met one guy couple months ago I could happily of jumped into bed with but he said I was so chatty he thought I’d make a better friend than potential gf...whatevs! Also WHY WHY do they all accuse women of trying to destroy their lives? Do they not realise what a huge red flag it is? I met a guy who told me neither of his daughters or ex wives would speak to him- am I supposed to not think hes a raving p with that admission?!The only luck on my side is that my ex is a narc- i don’t think they come back of their own accord after the discard phase. I was stupid to contact him Though and expect anything other than what I got
What dating app are you on? I’m on match and it’s probably the driest, charisma free zone on the planet
His life was destroyed for the fourth time then
gunk covered bathroom mirror anyone?
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I’m no longer on the apps. I met someone from Bumble at the start of last year, we decided to do lockdown together (he moved in with me) and fortunately it all worked out and we’re in the process of buying a house together. I was about to take a break from dating after way too many soul destroying encounters but it was New Year’s Day and I was bored and hungover on the sofa and fancied a conversation.
Before him I was in a 4+ year relationship with someone I met on Tinder so the apps do work I guess. But I spent many, many years dating - easily had 300+ first dates and have a lot of bad date stories. Train ticket collector was just the tip of the iceberg! I’m part of the thread more in solidarity because I know how awful it can be - the bad dates, the mad dates, the good dates who turn bad etc.
When I was dating in 2019 after a good few years away from it I found that men’s behaviour had got dramatically worse in terms of the lack of respect shown, the dehumanisation of the other person and total lack of acknowledgment that we have feelings and emotions and are not just a collection of body parts that they want to play with.
I had:
* a narcissist love bomber who turned deranged
* two men lie through their teeth about wanting a relationship to get me into bed and then suddenly not be looking for anything serious
* a man fall out with me because I beat him at Scrabble. He also kept sending me voice notes of him singing and he couldn’t sing
* a man ghost me in the middle of a conversation about meeting up who popped up months later acting like nothing had happened
* a catfish who used photos that were 10+ years old and when he turned up he looked like he’d eaten his former self (he took up a whole 2-seater sofa)
* a man find me on LinkedIn despite my email account not being linked to it, not using the same photo and not giving him my full name (who also turned up outside my office pretending he’d just happened to bump into me)
* a compulsive liar who made up loads of stuff about owning a company (which didn’t exist) and wanting to take me on holiday and when we finally arranged a date he had managed to “leave his wallet at home” - I went to the bar got myself a drink and got him a tap water on principle
* a man who behaved on the date that he was really bored, only ordered 3 small dishes in the restaurant I’d suggested for our meal (which we split the bill for) and then grab me in the street to kiss me without warning and pinch my bum with such ferocity he left me with bruises
* a man use his dying father as an excuse to ghost me despite us having a great first date and him organising a second date on it.
They were in the space of 9 months! It was exhausting and emotionally difficult to process it all. That’s why when I spot burnout in a few of you I suggest taking a break. They will all still be there when you get back, but when it’s becoming a chore and a challenge it’s good to walk away and reconnect with things that are enjoyable and light hearted.
Before him I was in a 4+ year relationship with someone I met on Tinder so the apps do work I guess. But I spent many, many years dating - easily had 300+ first dates and have a lot of bad date stories. Train ticket collector was just the tip of the iceberg! I’m part of the thread more in solidarity because I know how awful it can be - the bad dates, the mad dates, the good dates who turn bad etc.
When I was dating in 2019 after a good few years away from it I found that men’s behaviour had got dramatically worse in terms of the lack of respect shown, the dehumanisation of the other person and total lack of acknowledgment that we have feelings and emotions and are not just a collection of body parts that they want to play with.
I had:
* a narcissist love bomber who turned deranged
* two men lie through their teeth about wanting a relationship to get me into bed and then suddenly not be looking for anything serious
* a man fall out with me because I beat him at Scrabble. He also kept sending me voice notes of him singing and he couldn’t sing
* a man ghost me in the middle of a conversation about meeting up who popped up months later acting like nothing had happened
* a catfish who used photos that were 10+ years old and when he turned up he looked like he’d eaten his former self (he took up a whole 2-seater sofa)
* a man find me on LinkedIn despite my email account not being linked to it, not using the same photo and not giving him my full name (who also turned up outside my office pretending he’d just happened to bump into me)
* a compulsive liar who made up loads of stuff about owning a company (which didn’t exist) and wanting to take me on holiday and when we finally arranged a date he had managed to “leave his wallet at home” - I went to the bar got myself a drink and got him a tap water on principle
* a man who behaved on the date that he was really bored, only ordered 3 small dishes in the restaurant I’d suggested for our meal (which we split the bill for) and then grab me in the street to kiss me without warning and pinch my bum with such ferocity he left me with bruises
* a man use his dying father as an excuse to ghost me despite us having a great first date and him organising a second date on it.
They were in the space of 9 months! It was exhausting and emotionally difficult to process it all. That’s why when I spot burnout in a few of you I suggest taking a break. They will all still be there when you get back, but when it’s becoming a chore and a challenge it’s good to walk away and reconnect with things that are enjoyable and light hearted.
I love your stories!! You could write a book haha. I think it would be like a self help thingI’m no longer on the apps. I met someone from Bumble at the start of last year, we decided to do lockdown together (he moved in with me) and fortunately it all worked out and we’re in the process of buying a house together. I was about to take a break from dating after way too many soul destroying encounters but it was New Year’s Day and I was bored and hungover on the sofa and fancied a conversation.
Before him I was in a 4+ year relationship with someone I met on Tinder so the apps do work I guess. But I spent many, many years dating - easily had 300+ first dates and have a lot of bad date stories. Train ticket collector was just the tip of the iceberg! I’m part of the thread more in solidarity because I know how awful it can be - the bad dates, the mad dates, the good dates who turn bad etc.
When I was dating in 2019 after a good few years away from it I found that men’s behaviour had got dramatically worse in terms of the lack of respect shown, the dehumanisation of the other person and total lack of acknowledgment that we have feelings and emotions and are not just a collection of body parts that they want to play with.
I had:
* a narcissist love bomber who turned deranged
* two men lie through their teeth about wanting a relationship to get me into bed and then suddenly not be looking for anything serious
* a man fall out with me because I beat him at Scrabble. He also kept sending me voice notes of him singing and he couldn’t sing
* a man ghost me in the middle of a conversation about meeting up who popped up months later acting like nothing had happened
* a catfish who used photos that were 10+ years old and when he turned up he looked like he’d eaten his former self (he took up a whole 2-seater sofa)
* a man find me on LinkedIn despite my email account not being linked to it, not using the same photo and not giving him my full name (who also turned up outside my office pretending he’d just happened to bump into me)
* a compulsive liar who made up loads of stuff about owning a company (which didn’t exist) and wanting to take me on holiday and when we finally arranged a date he had managed to “leave his wallet at home” - I went to the bar got myself a drink and got him a tap water on principle
* a man who behaved on the date that he was really bored, only ordered 3 small dishes in the restaurant I’d suggested for our meal (which we split the bill for) and then grab me in the street to kiss me without warning and pinch my bum with such ferocity he left me with bruises
* a man use his dying father as an excuse to ghost me despite us having a great first date and him organising a second date on it.
They were in the space of 9 months! It was exhausting and emotionally difficult to process it all. That’s why when I spot burnout in a few of you I suggest taking a break. They will all still be there when you get back, but when it’s becoming a chore and a challenge it’s good to walk away and reconnect with things that are enjoyable and light hearted.
I’m not even chatting to anyone at the moment because literally no one decent has messaged me (by decent I mean over 5ft 5 and under 60 ). I have been on lots of weekends away with friends recently etc, and because there’s no one I fancy so I’m not really missing anything. I have tendencies of BPD so when I really like someone I take rejection really hard, when I don’t like them I don’t care less So pleased you met someone nice and are planning a future- it happens when you least expect it and I guess now you can look back on your dating adventures and laugh xxHim: You love my rooster
Me: … and you
I’ll see you all in three days when I’m feeling brave enough to see what he’s replied
Me: … and you
I’ll see you all in three days when I’m feeling brave enough to see what he’s replied
You: [hits send on message]Him: You love my rooster
Me: … and you
I’ll see you all in three days when I’m feeling brave enough to see what he’s replied
Also you: [throws phone into the Tyne, flies to Poland to start a new life]
Keep us posted
I like a text like thatHim: You love my rooster
Me: … and you
I’ll see you all in three days when I’m feeling brave enough to see what he’s replied
Just got home from a date. He picked me up at 7pm and I’m bed by 10.56pm.
Is that a normal length of time for a date? Previous ones have gone for hours. However, he lives an hour from me and drove
Is that a normal length of time for a date? Previous ones have gone for hours. However, he lives an hour from me and drove
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