Dating after lockdown #6 Block him!

[HelloStereo]

I think you need to delete him, tbh. There sounds nothing fun about the chats you're having with him and you both seem to be irking each other. Inadvertently in your case. But he's being a diberate bellend by the sounds of it. Not the best prelude to meeting

He doesn't really annoy me to be honest, but he just upsets me when he swears or says I am being delirious .

You are right though, an I constantly feel like I'm walking on eggshells and that he's going to take everything I say the wrong way. We already met on Saturday and had a nice time I thought.

 

[Woolmercardington]

He doesn't really annoy me to be honest, but he just upsets me when he swears or says I am being delirious .

You are right though, an I constantly feel like I'm walking on eggshells and that he's going to take everything I say the wrong way. We already met on Saturday and had a nice time I thought.

Ah, right. Hadn't realised you'd already met. Is a second date on the horizon?

 

[Clickbait]

Yeah he apologised before and said he had some anxiety stuff going on and wasn't in the best of moods. I don't know if / what he will say this time but I don't want to date someone who is always stroppy

Agree with @Woolmercardington - when you’re first getting to know someone you’re supposed to be presenting the best version of yourself. He’s just being rude and needling you - that may be his way of flirting but it’s clearly not working and would likely get worse not better.

 

[HelloStereo]

Ah, right. Hadn't realised you'd already met. Is a second date on the horizon?

Yes we met Saturday. We've been talking since then but not arranged anything more. I was discussing the football hooliganism with him and made an offhand comment like "men, who needs em " and he said he thought I sounded like a bit of a man hater and said "I'm guessing there will be no second date then" .

Agree with @Woolmercardington - when you’re first getting to know someone you’re supposed to be presenting the best version of yourself. He’s just being rude and needling you - that may be his way of flirting but it’s clearly not working and would likely get worse not better.

Yeah you'd think that when you're getting to know someone you'd be on your best behaviour, not swearing at someone and trying to belittle them.

And it's also the worry of whether it will get worse which is putting me off..I don't want to get more invested than I am now when he's not really treating me how I want to be treated...

 

[Clickbait]

And it's also the worry of whether it will get worse which is putting me off..I don't want to get more invested than I am now when he's not really treating me how I want to be treated...

As always there may be elements lost in translation because of the written word not conveying the tone something was meant in, not knowing that person’s sense of humour/way of conversing, but if it’s making you feel uncomfortable and like it’s hard work then you should listen to that.

 

[HelloStereo]

As always there may be elements lost in translation because of the written word not conveying the tone something was meant in, not knowing that person’s sense of humour/way of conversing, but if it’s making you feel uncomfortable and like it’s hard work then you should listen to that.

Yes exactly. I know sometimes the odd comment might be misinterpreted but it seems like more often than not everything I say tends to be taken the wrong way.

I get the feeling he doesn't have a very high opinion of me so everything I say he assumes the worst. We have only been talking for a few weeks so probably best to leave things now rather than letting it drag on.

 

[freaknasty]

@HelloStereo believe people when they show you who they are. He sounds like bad news, he is negging you constantly, he’s picking faults out of you, it’s only going to get worse not better.

Block him

 

[HelloStereo]

@HelloStereo believe people when they show you who they are. He sounds like bad news, he is negging you constantly, he’s picking faults out of you, it’s only going to get worse not better.

Block him

Yes, and it seems constant. The first time I thought it was just a misunderstanding so let it go but there have been a few occasions since then and we've only been speaking for a couple of weeks .

I just feel like the longer it goes on for the more I will doubt / question myself and the more ground down I will feel...

 

[Dogtanian]

Yeah he apologised before and said he had some anxiety stuff going on and wasn't in the best of moods. I don't know if / what he will say this time but I don't want to date someone who is always stroppy

He sounds like a grade A tit, block his ass!

 

[Bellaboo83]

Yes, and it seems constant. The first time I thought it was just a misunderstanding so let it go but there have been a few occasions since then and we've only been speaking for a couple of weeks .

I just feel like the longer it goes on for the more I will doubt / question myself and the more ground down I will feel...

I agree with the other posters, he is meant to be showing you how amazing he is at this point and he hasn't even been able to hide his desire to pick at you for more than a few weeks so it doesn't bode well for a longer relationship, you'll spend the rest of your relationship walking on egg shells and questioning your replies and what you say to him. It should be easier and enjoyable at this stage and he's making it hard.... Delete him.



I've binned the guy who was tailing communication off, he has sent 2 more 'hey' messages at night but I'm not entertaining it. Then I slept with my toxic ex on Sunday which has set me back a bit emotionally . Then a really nice guy from my same town got in touch on Tinder last night and I've perked up a bit. I notice since we've been chatting he's had a complete overhaul of his bio though to be fair it's much better and he's made himself sound more compatible with me

 

[HelloStereo]

He sounds like a grade A tit, block his ass!

I'm not sure whether to say something first instead of just disappearing

I agree with the other posters, he is meant to be showing you how amazing he is at this point and he hasn't even been able to hide his desire to pick at you for more than a few weeks so it doesn't bode well for a longer relationship, you'll spend the rest of your relationship walking on egg shells and questioning your replies and what you say to him. It should be easier and enjoyable at this stage and he's making it hard.... Delete him.



I've binned the guy who was tailing communication off, he has sent 2 more 'hey' messages at night but I'm not entertaining it. Then I slept with my toxic ex on Sunday which has set me back a bit emotionally . Then a really nice guy from my same town got in touch on Tinder last night and I've perked up a bit. I notice since we've been chatting he's had a complete overhaul of his bio though to be fair it's much better and he's made himself sound more compatible with me

Yeah you'd think it'd take a bit longer than a few weeks before we were at each other's throats . I don't think I've ever got on this badly with someone I was meant to be dating before.

Block your toxic ex! Otherwise you will just be set back time and time again if he ever makes contact again. I wouldn't worry about the nice one changing their bio on Tinder tbh. I definitely still use the app until Ive met someone I really like because you both never know how the date is going to go.

 

[justapossum]

I'm not sure whether to say something first instead of just disappearing

Personally I think ghosting/blocking is disrespectful/immature, and I don't appreciate it being done to me, so I wouldn't want to be a hypocrite and do the same to another person (unless there's a valid reason). I think you can just message him to say that you don't think you're getting along that well, or that this isn't the type of communication you like and so just best to leave it there.

 

[Wowitsme]

I'm not sure whether to say something first instead of just disappearing



Yeah you'd think it'd take a bit longer than a few weeks before we were at each other's throats . I don't think I've ever got on this badly with someone I was meant to be dating before.

Block your toxic ex! Otherwise you will just be set back time and time again if he ever makes contact again. I wouldn't worry about the nice one changing their bio on Tinder tbh. I definitely still use the app until Ive met someone I really like because you both never know how the date is going to go.

I agree massively with everyone else, communication is so important and he sounds like hard work. Imagine every conversation he’s just digging and trying to find fault all the time. He is also being quite defensive all the time.

He is throwing out massive red flags at the moment! It will get worse in my experience.

 

[HelloStereo]

Personally I think ghosting/blocking is disrespectful/immature, and I don't appreciate it being done to me, so I wouldn't want to be a hypocrite and do the same to another person (unless there's a valid reason). I think you can just message him to say that you don't think you're getting along that well, or that this isn't the type of communication you like and so just best to leave it there.

Yeah exactly, I wouldn't just block someone or ghost them without a reason because I've had it done to me before and it's not very nice. I also have a feeling that if I am finding communicating with him difficult then perhaps it's a mutual feeling? So hopefully it won't come as too much of a surprise.

I agree massively with everyone else, communication is so important and he sounds like hard work. Imagine every conversation he’s just digging and trying to find fault all the time. He is also being quite defensive all the time.

He is throwing out massive red flags at the moment! It will get worse in my experience.

It does feel that way, he doesn't give me the benefit of the doubt and always seems to be looking for things to pick up on. Like when I couldn't make it to one date because I was ill and he wanted to video call me to make sure I wasn't lying. Or taking my jokes literally without even asking if I was joking

 

[StrawberryCream]

I’m just a lurker but I get invested in these dating stories @doodlebug what happened with the guy you went on a date with and you were an hour late and his phone died and he left, is it over now?

 

[Alexaj]

I’m just a lurker but I get invested in these dating stories @doodlebug what happened with the guy you went on a date with and you were an hour late and his phone died and he left, is it over now?

Oooo I want an update on this too!

 

[Wowitsme]

Yeah exactly, I wouldn't just block someone or ghost them without a reason because I've had it done to me before and it's not very nice. I also have a feeling that if I am finding communicating with him difficult then perhaps it's a mutual feeling? So hopefully it won't come as too much of a surprise.



It does feel that way, he doesn't give me the benefit of the doubt and always seems to be looking for things to pick up on. Like when I couldn't make it to one date because I was ill and he wanted to video call me to make sure I wasn't lying. Or taking my jokes literally without even asking if I was joking

Nah I would advise also not to block or ghost that’s quite harsh and I would say only use it in extreme circumstances.

He clearly has trust issues he’d prob make sure you was were you say you are at all times too yeah I think you should draw a line with this one. I know it’s so cliche but you deffo know when it’s the right person this one does not sound like it also you want someone you can be lighthearted and jokey with, he doesn’t seem to have a jokey bone in his body

Oooo I want an update on this too!

she apologised I believe but then there no further update

 

[prinnygrace]

My eyes wtfffffff how ????!

 

[justapossum]

Yeah exactly, I wouldn't just block someone or ghost them without a reason because I've had it done to me before and it's not very nice. I also have a feeling that if I am finding communicating with him difficult then perhaps it's a mutual feeling? So hopefully it won't come as too much of a surprise.

Haha you'd think it would be a mutual feeling but I swear men can be so oblivious! But it does seem that the communication really isn't working here - speaking to someone should feel exciting and lighthearted! Not dreading that he's going to respond negatively to everything.

 

[doodlebug]

I’m just a lurker but I get invested in these dating stories @doodlebug what happened with the guy you went on a date with and you were an hour late and his phone died and he left, is it over now?

Sadly nothing to update ladies! He accepted my apology but said he still wasn’t super happy overall and needed “a fair amount of time” to forgive and forget. (Homeboy was pissed lol). But he said once I move back to London maybe we can give things another go.

I’m probably not going to move for another two months though :/ but I do want to reach out to him before that and hopefully he’ll let me take him out to make up for things... Although I was thinking about this the other day: do we think him saying maybe we can give things another go in future was him letting me down gently, or did he actually mean that? I’d like to think if he was done-done he’d have no problem saying that, but you never know…