Dating after lockdown #4 The bar for men is so low it's in hell

[Wowitsme]

Is it something that can improve? Sometimes sex can be bad the first few times due to nerves and getting to know each other, but it can get better and you can have a chat about what you like and don't like in the bedroom
But if the sex is a complete write off then I'd say get out of there

Never experienced sex as bad

 

[justapossum]

Never experienced sex as bad

Oh no! That sounds awful! Life is too short for bad sex!

 

[Clementine]

Do you think he knows it’s bad?

 

[thunderfook]

When you say bad, what are we talking? Doesn’t last, bad technique etc?

 

[HelloStereo]

Good luck!


Seconded.

Thank you .

If you’re dating someone and sex is awful what would you do?

Can you tell them what you like or are they the guy that's just a quick in-out in-out?

 

[Wowitsme]

He knows his bad, I tried to bring it up as in suggestions and he was just like “oh so you think I’m bad yea”

 

[realhousewivewannabe]

here’s to all those dates this weekend. Have a good time gals xx

I have chickened out and cancelled the lunch date. Something is proper making me get cold feet. Asked to reschedule so should be ok


I’m proper nervous for dinner date tonight. I Keep looking at his Instagram and he’s a proper gym nut I honestly don’t know why he wants to go on a date with me I don’t do “gyms” I find them so intimidating and literally haven’t done a proper work out in a few weeks lol

also just as a query how do people navigate guys offering to pick you up? I never accept usually drive / Uber/ train but I feel one day I might have to accept.

 

[Puffin]

He knows his bad, I tried to bring it up as in suggestions and he was just like “oh so you think I’m bad yea”

Quit while you are ahead. If that's his response he is just going to get defense with you when you try to make suggestions and depending on his age can't really see him changing.

Life is too short to waste time and orgasms on someone who doesn't really want to improve

 

[HitchhikingGhost]

Anyone find the stage past the first date stage a bit more tougher? I don't mean it like having a bad time, more like, you know you like someone by this time and I normally let my guard down a bit. So in my head I think about how Im liking someone more and getting to know them better. All the signs are good but theres still that thought that they could wake up tomorrow and just be like nah not for me. And then just game over.

I'm probably over thinking which I'm also, guilty of

 

[thunderfook]

here’s to all those dates this weekend. Have a good time gals xx

I have chickened out and cancelled the lunch date. Something is proper making me get cold feet. Asked to reschedule so should be ok


I’m proper nervous for dinner date tonight. I Keep looking at his Instagram and he’s a proper gym nut I honestly don’t know why he wants to go on a date with me I don’t do “gyms” I find them so intimidating and literally haven’t done a proper work out in a few weeks lol

also just as a query how do people navigate guys offering to pick you up? I never accept usually drive / Uber/ train but I feel one day I might have to accept.

Better to be safe and make your own way there I’d say. Also if he picks you up he knows where you live. Good luck and have

 

[HelloStereo]

Anyone find the stage past the first date stage a bit more tougher? I don't mean it like having a bad time, more like, you know you like someone by this time and I normally let my guard down a bit. So in my head I think about how Im liking someone more and getting to know them better. All the signs are good but theres still that thought that they could wake up tomorrow and just be like nah not for me. And then just game over.

I'm probably over thinking which I'm also, guilty of

Yes I get this. Not even after just the first date but the second, third, fourth etc. I always find it so precarious until the point where you are actually in a relationship with them.

 

[justapossum]

also just as a query how do people navigate guys offering to pick you up? I never accept usually drive / Uber/ train but I feel one day I might have to accept.

I never get picked up by someone I haven't met before - I prefer to sort out my own transport so that I can leave whenever needed. Also I would hate to be stuck in an awkward car ride back if the date didn't go well

Anyone find the stage past the first date stage a bit more tougher? I don't mean it like having a bad time, more like, you know you like someone by this time and I normally let my guard down a bit. So in my head I think about how Im liking someone more and getting to know them better. All the signs are good but theres still that thought that they could wake up tomorrow and just be like nah not for me. And then just game over.

I'm probably over thinking which I'm also, guilty of

I'm the same, the minute I start enjoying someone's company I'm like oh no

 

[Caramel Latte]

also just as a query how do people navigate guys offering to pick you up? I never accept usually drive / Uber/ train but I feel one day I might have to accept.

For safety concerns don’t accept this time either since he's practically a stranger

 

[realhousewivewannabe]

Yep! I never accept and not doing it today! I don’t think I’d accept anyone picking me but in the future I’ll probably have to! I think it’s nice they offer but my god some could be killers! Has anyone accepted first date?

 

[leapricot]

Never experienced sex as bad

What makes it bad if you don't mind me asking?

Sex was not great at all with my ex boyfriend and I promised myself that I would not settle for anything average sex-wise from now on. You don't want to have a boring sex life do you? hehe

 

[Wowitsme]

What makes it bad if you don't mind me asking?

Sex was not great at all with my ex boyfriend and I promised myself that I would not settle for anything average sex-wise from now on. You don't want to have a boring sex life do you? hehe

I don’t want to say too much but it just wasn’t enjoyable and he clearly knew it wasn’t enjoyable and kept mentioning it and it just got awkward

 

[thunderfook]

I don’t want to say too much but it just wasn’t enjoyable and he clearly knew it wasn’t enjoyable and kept mentioning it and it just got awkward

Fair enough. I just meant I usually find the first time is really quick (too much excitement and nerves), so I don’t write a guy off for that. But it sounds like you guys just didn’t mesh and if he sensed it, I can imagine the next time would be even worse through sheer fear! If you really like him, maybe hold off for a bit until you both feel comfortable to guide each other and have a giggle about it. But I think deep down, you always know if it’s not right!

I’ve only ever had one guy who was really bad, yet the chemistry and connection was off the chart. I was so torn because in every other way this guy literally set my heart and loins on fire, The kisses, the touches, the cuddles were electric. It was sheer agony. No matter what I suggested he just wouldn’t do it! He broke my heart in the end too!

Yep! I never accept and not doing it today! I don’t think I’d accept anyone picking me but in the future I’ll probably have to! I think it’s nice they offer but my god some could be killers! Has anyone accepted first date?

I used to in my teens and twenties (a million years ago!). It was perfectly acceptable then. I wouldn’t now!

 

[leapricot]

I don’t want to say too much but it just wasn’t enjoyable and he clearly knew it wasn’t enjoyable and kept mentioning it and it just got awkward

Oh god, I am cringing for you hahaha.
But usually you can tell even from the first time whether it will be good or not in the future. You might not know each other very well when the first time happens but you can just tell...

 

[Clementine]

If he’d addressing it, is he wanting to make it better? Personally, unless you’ve been together for years and had babies/stress/etc or there’s a physical/mental obstacle. I don’t think sex is something you should have to work on. It’s either good or not? The chemistry is there or it isn’t. It should be about exploring and wanting to make yourself and your partner happy. Mediocre sex won’t make you happy though and will just leave you frustrated.

 

[whathastheworldcometo]

quick update for you all on this lovely new thread! i went over to the Guitarist's place on tuesday night, had chinese takeout and watched a goodfellas - he's obsessed with all the gangster movies, but we take turns on picking movies and next time it's my turn. which leads me to... we've agreed to do another movie thing on sunday (and i will take my overnight things). i feel like i'm on a train going off the tracks a bit but also i love it? he was the last person to message and i left it on read for all of yesterday, and i'll probably reply later today with a random tiktok about gangster movies.

also the Italian messaged me last night and voice noted me (boring) and i swapped numbers with a teacher but the chat is deadddd. i'm trying not to go all eggs in one basket with the Guitarist buttttt he's the most interesting? it's hard to focus on a boring person just as a distraction from the interesting person you're trying not to get caught up in.

how do you manage multiple dating scenarios? when, if ever, do you want to make things exclusive? i'm thinking of asking the Guitarist on sunday if he's had other overnight guests just from a health perspective, not necessarily an exclusivity perspective.

Sounds good

Yes, I think it is a good idea to see if the guitarist is sleeping with anyone else (from a health perspective), but otherwise I think you should stop overanalysing and simply enjoy the experience with the guys you are dating.
If things fizzle out with the Italian as he is too boring - never mind.

Enjoy

I’m chatting to someone who clearly only wants to have sex. I’ve met up with him for drinks and now he wants me to come over... I’m stuck between saying duck it and just enjoying myself and having something casual, and wanting him to at least take me to dinner or something I just can’t decide!

If you find him attractive and fancy him then why not suggest that he takes you out to dinner to a restaurant local to him first before you stay over?