Dating after lockdown #36 Have you dated a man? You may be entitled to compensation.

[holliebollie]

@monepierce that’s so strange, I only like kind of alternative looking men too when anyone asks me my type, I always say, ‘Looks like he could be the lead singer in a rock/indie band’ I’m in quite a rural area so very slim pickings, added with 99% of men being unattractive.

 

[unidentified]

@monepierce that’s so strange, I only like kind of alternative looking men too when anyone asks me my type, I always say, ‘Looks like he could be the lead singer in a rock/indie band’ I’m in quite a rural area so very slim pickings, added with 99% of men being unattractive.

Are you me? I’m rural too and this is impossible. Give me a handsomely scruffy man. Bit of a hipster.

 

[AshMay]

I'm glad it's not just me! I feel like I used to fancy people so easily but as time's gone on I'm rarely attracted to anyone anymore. (Doesn't help when the bar is in hell for men!) Thinking I'm leaning demisexual too now, or wanting more of a slow burn. I don't mind overall but sometimes it would be nice to have the excitement of chemistry and attraction again!

 

[Thank(space)you]

I feel like I'm in a scarcity mindset right now. Like where are the men? If I find someone attractive and get a match on the app, their chat is dry. I just don't get it.

 

[whathastheworldcometo]

But isn't it normal to start feeling attraction after getting to know someone and having a sort of bond with them?
In the olden days, many couples met in school/university, through friends / relatives or at work and actually knew the person before starting to date them.

This seems to have changed, nowadays you need to make up your mind in a short moment based on some photographs of the person and each date is an "in or out" assessment of sorts and the third date is usually "the night".

I remember seeing a Netflix movie about dating, the girl went on a date, had sex, got bored, texted another guy and went on to have sex with him also. Then they started a relationship but soon started scrolling through apps again.

How can this be normal? It is all so strange.

 

[monepierce]

But isn't it normal to start feeling attraction after getting to know someone and having a sort of bond with them?
In the olden days, many couples met in school/university, through friends / relatives or at work and actually knew the person before starting to date them.

This seems to have changed, nowadays you need to make up your mind in a short moment based on some photographs of the person and each date is an "in or out" assessment of sorts and the third date is usually "the night".

I remember seeing a Netflix movie about dating, the girl went on a date, had sex, got bored, texted another guy and went on to have sex with him also. Then they started a relationship but soon started scrolling through apps again.

How can this be normal? It is all so strange.

something I’ve noticed lately is everyone is moving in together so quickly in the relationship. the rent prices and lack of housing is probably to blame but I had a talking stage with a guy 4 years ago, he ghosted me and a month later he moved in with another girl. it’s just something I’ve noticed and it’s a recipe for disaster imo

 

[al255]

something I’ve noticed lately is everyone is moving in together so quickly in the relationship. the rent prices and lack of housing is probably to blame but I had a talking stage with a guy 4 years ago, he ghosted me and a month later he moved in with another girl. it’s just something I’ve noticed and it’s a recipe for disaster imo

My friend moved in with her current partner after 3 months of being together due to lockdown and they both needed to save money, they're still together 3 years later! I agree with you though a lot of people move in together too quickly when they don't know each other properly and know their annoying habits!

 

[boomska]

My friend moved in with her current partner after 3 months of being together due to lockdown and they both needed to save money, they're still together 3 years later! I agree with you though a lot of people move in together too quickly when they don't know each other properly and know their annoying habits!

Omg this and introducing their kids!!!

 

[Spidey2020]

Has anyone got back into dating after a long, long (years) gap? I keep finding reasons not too. I need to lose weight.. I’m so used to just being with my kids my house is always in a bit of a mess (if it ever got that far for someone to visit). I’m quite shy and awkward. Really resonate with the comments about not fancying people anymore too.

 

[HelloStereo]

Has anyone got back into dating after a long, long (years) gap? I keep finding reasons not too. I need to lose weight.. I’m so used to just being with my kids my house is always in a bit of a mess (if it ever got that far for someone to visit). I’m quite shy and awkward. Really resonate with the comments about not fancying people anymore too.

Yes! I haven't dated in ages and it is so draining. I'd like a partner but it never seems to work out and I'm running out of energy even trying.

 

[unidentified]

Has anyone got back into dating after a long, long (years) gap? I keep finding reasons not too. I need to lose weight.. I’m so used to just being with my kids my house is always in a bit of a mess (if it ever got that far for someone to visit). I’m quite shy and awkward. Really resonate with the comments about not fancying people anymore too.

My last date was over 2 years ago

 

[IGiveUp22]

It’s just so hard when social media just seems to be shoving all these happy couples, getting married, having kids down your throat. I know it’s me that’s putting the pressure on myself but I almost feel myself downloading the apps in a panic sometimes to just try “find someone” even though right now, I don’t actually want to meet anyone. Weird when feelings like this hit

 

[Thank(space)you]

For me, going on the apps is like opening the fridge when you're hungry as if magically something you want is gonna be there when you know it's not

 

[AshMay]

But isn't it normal to start feeling attraction after getting to know someone and having a sort of bond with them?

This is why I get the ick when people come on too strong too fast 'cause I just think you don't even know me yet?? Haha

 

[TwooTwooTwitTwitTwoo]

I relate a lot to the demisexual discussion. I also totally get what La Blonde said about a narrative for progression.

I've been single for two and a half years. I don't have any childcare to go and date so haven't even bothered besides creating a very short lived profile on Facebook dating.

I've recently been, let's call it propositioned, by someone I've known for quite a while. There has always been an attraction but I've been quite blunt and said that given that the only way I could socialise would be for him to come to my house, I don't think that is acceptable so it won't be happening. He's a family friend so my children know him but they aren't idiots, particularly the teens.

On one hand I'm disappointed because I suppose a shag would be nice but on the other, he's been quite pushy and I've got the ick and unfortunately it might spell the end of a decade long friendship.

It's made me feel really odd. I was and am happy on my own. I've made peace with the liklihood I won't be able to date for many years and I don't think I'm that fussed beyond feeling like it would be nice to have someone to 'do stuff' with (other than the kids). Is what I'm feeling just a fear of missing out or something? It's made worse because I've injured myself recently so I can't drive for a while. My world has shrunk again and it all feels a bit bleak.

 

[whathastheworldcometo]

I relate a lot to the demisexual discussion. I also totally get what La Blonde said about a narrative for progression.

I've been single for two and a half years. I don't have any childcare to go and date so haven't even bothered besides creating a very short lived profile on Facebook dating.

I've recently been, let's call it propositioned, by someone I've known for quite a while. There has always been an attraction but I've been quite blunt and said that given that the only way I could socialise would be for him to come to my house, I don't think that is acceptable so it won't be happening. He's a family friend so my children know him but they aren't idiots, particularly the teens.

On one hand I'm disappointed because I suppose a shag would be nice but on the other, he's been quite pushy and I've got the ick and unfortunately it might spell the end of a decade long friendship.

It's made me feel really odd. I was and am happy on my own. I've made peace with the liklihood I won't be able to date for many years and I don't think I'm that fussed beyond feeling like it would be nice to have someone to 'do stuff' with (other than the kids). Is what I'm feeling just a fear of missing out or something? It's made worse because I've injured myself recently so I can't drive for a while. My world has shrunk again and it all feels a bit bleak.

It might not be the best idea to get involved with this person, especially if he is pushy and you are in the same circle of friends.

I understand what you mean when you say that your world shrank, but maybe you can expand it again with books or a new interest that you can explore.

Could you make friends with other single parents / parents and meet up with them and maybe help each other out with childcare every now and again?

 

[TwooTwooTwitTwitTwoo]

It might not be the best idea to get involved with this person, especially if he is pushy and you are in the same circle of friends.

I understand what you mean when you say that your world shrank, but maybe you can expand it again with books or a new interest that you can explore.

Could you make friends with other single parents / parents and meet up with them and maybe help each other out with childcare every now and again?

I won't be getting involved with him and I've made that clear to him. The whole situation screams potential mess doesn't it.

I've got a few books waiting to be read and some to be listened to and I started learning French last year as a hobby.

Sharing childcare is a difficult one because some of my children are autistic. They don't always socialise with other children well and it would be quite a big ask for someone outside of the family to look after them.

I think I'll feel a bit better once I don't feel so trapped in the house. Normally, going to work gives me a socialising aspect as well so I'll miss that whilst I'm stuck working from home.

 

[grannypants]

I need your advice guys - do I get involved with a gorgeous but possibly too young guy?

For context, there's someone who works in my local shop who I see quite regularly and last week he started to get quite flirty, then on a couple of days ago he said something like 'maybe I'll see you outside of here sometime'. I was taken aback and started chattering like a monkey but I think he's still interested - he asked my name after that.

The only problem is I think he's too young for me - I'm guessing maybe 21/22 at a push and I'm 29. What do you ladies think?? Could I possibly be a cougar??

 

[Spidey2020]

I need your advice guys - do I get involved with a gorgeous but possibly too young guy?

For context, there's someone who works in my local shop who I see quite regularly and last week he started to get quite flirty, then on a couple of days ago he said something like 'maybe I'll see you outside of here sometime'. I was taken aback and started chattering like a monkey but I think he's still interested - he asked my name after that.

The only problem is I think he's too young for me - I'm guessing maybe 21/22 at a push and I'm 29. What do you ladies think?? Could I possibly be a cougar??

Go for it! It’s not that big an age gap but depends how serious you want to get. I don’t think male brain mature until about 25.

 

[grannypants]

Go for it! It’s not that big an age gap but depends how serious you want to get. I don’t think male brain mature until about 25.

I'm not looking for anything serious tbh, I just want a summer romance!