You need Chump Lady in you life. Maybe even write to her? She does this section which she calls "Universal Bullshit Translator" and its so bleeping nice to have someone else help with the muddling and mess that narcs do to your brain.
Dating after lockdown #30 WHY ARE MEN SO BORING
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Is anyone else really struggling to find any guys attractive on the apps? I know my standards are high and I'm attracted to a very specific type but I only send out 1 like a day if that, I just don't like anyone on there and I keep comparing them to previous people I've been involved with/that left me
hinge specifically cause i'm banned from tinder (a year ago for calling out a catfish so he reported me) and i hate bumble
hinge specifically cause i'm banned from tinder (a year ago for calling out a catfish so he reported me) and i hate bumble
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Exact same, most are just not what I'm into at allIs anyone else really struggling to find any guys attractive on the apps? I know my standards are high and I'm attracted to a very specific type but I only send out 1 like a day if that, I just don't like anyone on there and I keep comparing them to previous people I've been involved with/that left me
hinge specifically cause i'm banned from tinder (a year ago for calling out a catfish so he reported me) and i hate bumble
yeah, i don't want to lower my standards.. and i don't think i should have to because when i like someone i REALLY like them, and i put all my eggs in their basket so it's not like i'm messing around.. but there's really nothing out here
and i really need to stop comparing them to past lovers but it's so hardIs anyone else really struggling to find any guys attractive on the apps? I know my standards are high and I'm attracted to a very specific type but I only send out 1 like a day if that, I just don't like anyone on there and I keep comparing them to previous people I've been involved with/that left me
hinge specifically cause i'm banned from tinder (a year ago for calling out a catfish so he reported me) and i hate bumble
YES. I don’t really fancy anyone!!! Then the ones I do fancy don’t talk or only send their penis.
We need to say goodbye to our type if we wanna get married one day
please tell me this is a joke because, if not, it’s one of the most depressing things i’ve read on this thread 🫠We need to say goodbye to our type if we wanna get married one day
I've always said it, it's not just men, it's people!It's interesting reading this thread from a male point of view. Lots of what you ladies are saying happens to guys too (minus the dick pics of course)
I've lost track of the amount of women I've been talking to where I literally have to carry the conversation. It's a two way thing isn't it and it's hard work if the other person is not putting in at least the same effort as you are.
I don’t really think changing your type can work especially with online dating? Probably could in real life e.g. you get a crush on someone you work with who isn’t your usual type but you fancy them anyway.
But personally I struggle with that.
For example, I go for tall men like most of us do on here, so I get zero enthusiasm at the thought of going on dates with someone 5”8 off an app. However I’m sure if I met someone in real life and developed a crush their height wouldn’t matter though as much as it does with online dating
But personally I struggle with that.
For example, I go for tall men like most of us do on here, so I get zero enthusiasm at the thought of going on dates with someone 5”8 off an app. However I’m sure if I met someone in real life and developed a crush their height wouldn’t matter though as much as it does with online dating
honestly, you should never have to change your type unless it’s something completely unrealistic like you’re only attracted to russian royalty or formula 1 millionaires from monaco.
your type is a type for a reason. that’s what you’re into. and online dating especially you have to make a snap decision on whether or not you find that person attractive or they work for you. it’s not like, exactly like you say, having a slow burn with someone you meet originally who isn’t really your type but you have natural chemistry etc.
Legally I can’t kick him out he owns have the house, I have had to call the police twice in the last few months one more time and he will be arrested. I can get an injunction I have enough on him but I’m worried it’s unforgivable and my kids will be angry at me in later life. I have another week and he will have missed a court deadline in our divorce and my solicitor says I can apply for a judge to help push him along or something.
I’m going to stay off the dating apps for awhile, focus on me this summer even if I do get lonely haha thank you
I’m going to stay off the dating apps for awhile, focus on me this summer even if I do get lonely haha thank you
I think physical attraction is very important and as women we're told to not focus on it, to think about 'personality' instead like we're supposed to prove we're not shallow, but I don't care!! I'd be physically repulsed if I wasn't attracted to someone...
You definitely have to be attracted to someone. Don't know why my keyboard underlined that?? Obviously agrees!
I've chilled out about messaging with new bloke, and he doesn't have children.
Does anyone else message loads at the start? We met 'in the wild' not dating app but he lives a couple of hours from me.
Edit: oh ignore above, for some reason it was underlined before I posted!
Your kids will be happier and better taken care of if you don't have to extend the energy to placate a spiteful narc. It might take some time for them to realise just how much their dad is playing with their emotions, but they will see it eventually. Better for you to get some space to be able to shore up your defenses to be there for your kids.
I wish my mum would have been honest with me about how awful my dad treated her during their divorce, but she was trying to be neutral for our sakes while my dad used everything he had on her to convince us he was not to blame. As an adult I have a much wider view on the whole situation and can see both of their roles in the failure of the relationdship, but back then (I was 13 for frame of reference) I would have wished for her to be honest with me so I wouldn't have felt so lost with what my dad was doing to me too.
Emotional manipulation, hot- cold, one day a thing was ok, the next it was the worst thing I ever did, buying us kids with money, threatening us with reducing my mums alimony if we didn't do as he said, claming I was too fat, too arrogant, too stupid, too smart for my own good, etc. All not to lose control.
So while it is not a bad thing wanting to stay neutral, especially when you have an ex that works with you on that and wants to keep your kids happy too, for your ex they're not people, they're tools in the toolbox to make you hurt because it's one thing he knows you care about a lot.
I wish my mum would have been honest with me about how awful my dad treated her during their divorce, but she was trying to be neutral for our sakes while my dad used everything he had on her to convince us he was not to blame. As an adult I have a much wider view on the whole situation and can see both of their roles in the failure of the relationdship, but back then (I was 13 for frame of reference) I would have wished for her to be honest with me so I wouldn't have felt so lost with what my dad was doing to me too.
Emotional manipulation, hot- cold, one day a thing was ok, the next it was the worst thing I ever did, buying us kids with money, threatening us with reducing my mums alimony if we didn't do as he said, claming I was too fat, too arrogant, too stupid, too smart for my own good, etc. All not to lose control.
So while it is not a bad thing wanting to stay neutral, especially when you have an ex that works with you on that and wants to keep your kids happy too, for your ex they're not people, they're tools in the toolbox to make you hurt because it's one thing he knows you care about a lot.
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Having quite the nice chat with a few guys on Bumble but the one guy I found most attractive and would go for a ONS for is giving me the ick with bad spelling... ugh.
I'm convinced that straight men have NO idea how to make a profile that appeals to women. No effort in their bio, and not to mention the amount of scraggly neckbeards I've seen!!!yeah, i don't want to lower my standards.. and i don't think i should have to because when i like someone i REALLY like them, and i put all my eggs in their basket so it's not like i'm messing around.. but there's really nothing out here
Scraggly neckbeards
Sunglasses in every pic so you have no idea what they look like
"Not political"
Photos of landscape with them in shot but facing away
Bad spelling/grammatical errors
I GIVE UP!!!!!!!
All the sexy blokes are on tinder or bumble
All the sexy blokes in the home counties are in my inbox apparently
Completely the opposite to Hinge where I get such little attention even though my profile is virtually the same
All the sexy blokes in the home counties are in my inbox apparently
Completely the opposite to Hinge where I get such little attention even though my profile is virtually the same
Where can we find this chump lady and what’s her username?
Been a lurker on this thread for a while but need some dating advice!!! Or just a space to have a vent. All my friends are in relationships and I’ve been single 18 months. It’s hard as a single mum too. Been on 4 different dates now and haven’t worked out for various reasons. Newest one we’ve actually been on 2 dates but I don’t feel butterflies or excited really. Is that normal? My mum said I’m being too picky but I feel like you want that intitial excitement at least a bit?? My friend said to keep him on the side just in case for some fun but don’t make it anything too serious
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She was cheated on with a very difficult separation process and helps others get through cheating situations through her experience. I find her advice quite helpful even without the being cheated on.
Only thing worse than a toilet selfie… a urinal selfie 
just found one in my likes 
just found one in my likes - Status