Dating after lockdown #30 WHY ARE MEN SO BORING

[Sunflower16]

Evening all. I'm back in my home place after a great weekend at the wedding! I'm a shadow of my former myself but managed to catch up on what I missed here! There were 4 couples at my table and me but 3 out of the 4 met on Tinder and they're married. Well lads and ladies it gave me hope! Of course they thought my online dating antics and stories were hilarious. Always happy to be the butt of a joke
Thank God I took tomorrow off! 🥱🥱
Hope you're all well

 

[Hot_Dogs_Or_Toes]

It's interesting reading this thread from a male point of view. Lots of what you ladies are saying happens to guys too (minus the dick pics of course )

I've lost track of the amount of women I've been talking to where I literally have to carry the conversation. It's a two way thing isn't it and it's hard work if the other person is not putting in at least the same effort as you are.

 

[melisnusty]

It's interesting reading this thread from a male point of view. Lots of what you ladies are saying happens to guys too (minus the dick pics of course )

I've lost track of the amount of women I've been talking to where I literally have to carry the conversation. It's a two way thing isn't it and it's hard work if the other person is not putting in at least the same effort as you are.

Interesting to hear it from a male perspective.

 

[HelloStereo]

My date cancelled yesterday (said it was too warm and everywhere would be busy and offered to rearrange for any day next week). Ended up going out and singing The Pina Colada song on a karaoke night with some cutie though so not all bad?

 

[melisnusty]

Is it too much to ask that a man is funny, kind and wants to bang me like a barn door?

 

[EddyDarling]

It's interesting reading this thread from a male point of view. Lots of what you ladies are saying happens to guys too (minus the dick pics of course )

I've lost track of the amount of women I've been talking to where I literally have to carry the conversation. It's a two way thing isn't it and it's hard work if the other person is not putting in at least the same effort as you are.

People don't want to put themselves out there and keep it light and shallow and it's absolutely for the worse.
I think the reasons are different but the end result the same
Women don't want their time wasted by a fuckboy again and so keep it shallow
Men don't want to have their time wasted again so resort to fuckboy behaviour.

 

[OwtDoing]

It's the ones who just have a black square instead of a picture & a bio about just looking for NSA fun.
Why would anyone swipe for someone they don't know what they look like?

Nosiness always gets the better of me with these profiles and I match with them… 100% of the time they are nothing to write home about looks wise
---

So men think that a photograph holding fish they’ve caught is attractive. Uh huh.

I’m so here to watch you uncover ALL of these dating app monstrosities 🫖 Welcome to online dating x

 

[Clementine]

The date I had the other night was the first one in 8 months. It’s a rare occurrence. My time/finances and energy are precious. I’m not wasting them on a fuckwit (although it invariably is as I’m a muppet). Also, I have one foot in the Tattle commune we’re all going to live on

 

[Universal]

Well I had my date yesterday and let’s just say this thread title is very apt.

 

[Belle123]

Well I had my date yesterday and let’s just say this thread title is very apt.

Much like mine on Saturday. I was bored and knew instantly we didn’t gel. He was pleasant enough and it was a little jaunt out of the house to a beer garden, so no waste, but he just talked about himself I usually send a message afterwards but, once I realised he wasn’t communicating I thought, well I’d only be contacting you to say I don’t want to meet again and there’s no point if you feel the same! So we’ve not been in touch since. Next!

 

[Jojoo]

You nailed it with your last sentence unfortunately. It's all very deliberate on his behalf. It's another way for him to continue having control.

My parents currently do all my childcare whilst I work so I can't ask them to do anything else. I'm hoping this feeling will pass and I'll go back to not being bothered again.

This is me! im constantly questioned where I’ve been, what I’m doing etc from him too the control is mad. There’s no privacy is there because you can’t just go in a date if you want too, you have to get a babysitter if possible which for me isn’t really very often but you have to tell someone why.

I’ve been talking to someone since Wednesday, no mention of his penis yet which is a first I don’t think I’m feeling it though. Silly things like I said I wanted fo start buying camping things so I can go next year. Build it up slowly he said we can buy it Together, last night said he drinks wine but when he sits at home with me it will be wine. We haven’t even met yet it just feels a little too much but now I feel I’m hopeless as I either get an idiot or someone too keen am I ever going to be excited to meet someone?
I was seeing that guy at the beginning of the year and I miss the excitement I had with him and I feel I’m comparing everyone to him

 

[Rayne]

That old chestnut

 

[shadowcat5]

This is me! im constantly questioned where I’ve been, what I’m doing etc from him too the control is mad. There’s no privacy is there because you can’t just go in a date if you want too, you have to get a babysitter if possible which for me isn’t really very often but you have to tell someone why.

I’ve been talking to someone since Wednesday, no mention of his penis yet which is a first I don’t think I’m feeling it though. Silly things like I said I wanted fo start buying camping things so I can go next year. Build it up slowly he said we can buy it Together, last night said he drinks wine but when he sits at home with me it will be wine. We haven’t even met yet it just feels a little too much but now I feel I’m hopeless as I either get an idiot or someone too keen am I ever going to be excited to meet someone?
I was seeing that guy at the beginning of the year and I miss the excitement I had with him and I feel I’m comparing everyone to him

maybe you’re not ready to get out there again yet?

 

[Jojoo]

maybe you’re not ready to get out there again yet?

I’m not, I know this but I also want someone to have fun with. I’m a big mess. My ex still lives with us until the divorce will go through, I have to watch him go on countless dates and holidays with the woman he had an affair with so I feel like I need someone to spend time with. I just want sex tbh.
I want to have a fun summer with no commitments just dates and sex with someone, not lots of people just one haha

i can’t move on while he’s here crying and telling me he’s not happy yet off on his 12th holiday in less than a year with the woman. Yet I can’t have no one because I don’t know. Sorry waffle brain today god it’s tough.

 

[shadowcat5]

I’m not, I know this but I also want someone to have fun with. I’m a big mess. My ex still lives with us until the divorce will go through, I have to watch him go on countless dates and holidays with the woman he had an affair with so I feel like I need someone to spend time with. I just want sex tbh.
I want to have a fun summer with no commitments just dates and sex with someone, not lots of people just one haha

i can’t move on while he’s here crying and telling me he’s not happy yet off on his 12th holiday in less than a year with the woman. Yet I can’t have no one because I don’t know. Sorry waffle brain today god it’s tough.

bless you that sounds horrendous, it’s no wonder, your self esteem has taken a battering. Take it slow and remember this is his fault not yours. Once he’s out things will be easier. Until then remember that you are more than enough on your own and someone else will come along

eta: whenever he’s crying telling you he’s not happy tell him he made his bed. Keep reminding him how good he had it and how he’s lost that. It’ll make you feel better. Fake it til you make it

 

[Usagisakura90]

That old chestnut View attachment 2250600

How do people get their age so wrong they obviously do it to come up in the younger age filters.

 

[LaBlonde]

That old chestnut View attachment 2250600

incredible how many men make this mistake! sure it isn’t about trying to date women much younger than them and is just an inability to do basic maths

 

[Usagisakura90]

I’m not, I know this but I also want someone to have fun with. I’m a big mess. My ex still lives with us until the divorce will go through, I have to watch him go on countless dates and holidays with the woman he had an affair with so I feel like I need someone to spend time with. I just want sex tbh.
I want to have a fun summer with no commitments just dates and sex with someone, not lots of people just one haha

i can’t move on while he’s here crying and telling me he’s not happy yet off on his 12th holiday in less than a year with the woman. Yet I can’t have no one because I don’t know. Sorry waffle brain today god it’s tough.

Not happy, yet is going off on holiday with his affair partner? Its just crocodile tears, he wants you to beg him to stay and to give him another chance, he knows what he's doing he's realised that having to move out means he has to start all over again and wants to retreat into the home life whilst having this woman on the side.

He wants you to fall for it and maybe even fall back into bed with him so you never move on because if he can't have you (through his own f up) then no one can.

 

[Dogtanian]

Personally I'd boot him out and ask him to move into his new girlfriends. Change the locks and take all his stuff round hers.

 

[Usagisakura90]

Personally I'd boot him out and ask him to move into his new girlfriends. Change the locks and take all his stuff round hers.

Definitely agree with this, you have been too nice letting him stay there as it is