i haven’t seen her here for a little while!
haven’t seen @Lalla or @wibblywobblywoo for a bit either (or @TillyMiffin or @Belle123 ) - hope you’re all doing well ladies
i haven’t seen her here for a little while!Sorry if I’ve missed it but is candyland ok? I went MIA on the threads for a while
this rings so true to my situation I try and move on but I just compare everyone to him.Honestly, and I say this from bitter experience, walk away from this man. He’s made it clear it’s not going to happen (anything other than a yes is a no*) and he’s now proceeding in the vein of ‘I’ll take whatever she’s offering without giving anything (she really wants) back because she knows the score’.
There are very few men who will make the hard break on your behalf if they know they can never give you what you want/need. Many won’t even be honest that they’ll never see you as a GF or wife so he’s one of the better ones. You have to save yourself in these situations.
I can see what you’re doing in your message which is to flirt with photos, sexual innuendo, get him fired up and thinking about you, keeping it friendly and light in the hope things will change/you’ll change his mind. It’s very similar to messages I shared many moons ago with an unattainable man. It won’t change his bottom line. He’s put you in a box labelled ‘fun’ and I think it’s highly unlikely you’ll ever move to ‘relationship material’.
This is not because you’re not worthy of a relationship, it’s just the way that he sees you and where you’ve ended up from your interactions. You can’t change the past but I wonder if you’ve yet tried to re-examine your time together to see if there was something you could have said or done differently to change the outcome? If you haven’t yet you probably will. And that is a pointless and soul-destroying exercise.
You could waste a lot more time on him. You could tell yourself you’re trying to move on by dating other men when in reality you’re comparing them all to him and they’re not measuring up, or you could be kind to yourself and mourn what could have been and then stop torturing yourself by keeping that flame alight. You’re the only one who is getting burned by doing that.
Talking to him every day under the guise of flirty friends is not helpful to you. He can take it or leave it, I really don’t think you can.
*There will always be exceptions to this, but when it comes to men I think this is a good rule of thumb.
She was on the BowelBro thread and he threatened to dox her via his instagram, after already doing it to one other person. The screenshots are on his threads.Sorry if I’ve missed it but is candyland ok? I went MIA on the threads for a while
STOP.Does anyone else see themselves participating in masochistic clownish behaviour, have the complete self awareness that they’re doing it knowing it’s only going to lead to an unhappy outcome yet still do it?! Like you’re an observer of your own actions.
Not me counselling my ex through a breakup with his ex who’s he’s fully going to get back withMy ex who completely shattered me last year, have written about him loads on these threads.
EeeshShe was on the BowelBro thread and he threatened to dox her via his instagram, after already doing it to one other person. The screenshots are on his threads.
Jeez, I could have written this myself some time ago!i just love every broken part of him even though I can’t fix him
You are not a free therapist Clementine! You don’t owe him anything, just block and don’t let him drain you with his misery.Does anyone else see themselves participating in masochistic clownish behaviour, have the complete self awareness that they’re doing it knowing it’s only going to lead to an unhappy outcome yet still do it?! Like you’re an observer of your own actions.
Not me counselling my ex through a breakup with his ex who’s he’s fully going to get back withMy ex who completely shattered me last year, have written about him loads on these threads.
So i'm quoting myself from way back just as a reminder of the situation and the HORRIFYING outcome that has come from this.[QUOTE
Oh my god. So I went on a few dates with a guy over the last 3-4 weeks. He invited me over. I parked up, it’s a small block of flats. The front door is completely smashed. There’s a guy sat outside one of the doors inside smoking weed. The guy I dated opens the door and doesn’t even act like this is anything abnormal. I go in and honestly, I’ve never seen anything like it. It stank of piss. It was absolutely filthy. Like the toilet was brown. Also, he didn’t have any lightbulbs in any room. There was one in the hallway, and that’s it. He used his phone torch to light his way through. I couldn’t hide my horror. His “office” was like a uni student halls. Every wall was covered in posters or photos, including the ceiling. The carpet was thick with grime, and one room he didn’t use because it was “horrible” I didn’t dare to look at what was festering in there. His bed was basically a pile of 3 mattresses on top of the other and the duvet stank like it hadn’t been washed in years. This is a 40 year old man. I’m absolutely traumatised hahahaha. I made a swift exit and have since told him I don’t see it going anywhere. I really toyed with the idea of telling him that he needs to get his act together and sort his flat out but decided against it. Also, he struck me as being quite depressive so I didn’t want to be cruel if he’s actually suffering. But yeah, an absolute swift dealbreaker from me.
I feel very much the same although I have a 22 year old sloth rather than a wild 2 year old and I am exhausted. It never ends. Go to work, go home, cook clean, fit in the gym, laundry, shopping.Firstly sorry for this long post
Hey ladies. Ive only just seen this thread and thought I'd hop on. So basically I broke up with my kids dad about 8 months and I haven't been on 1 date since. Everyone keeps telling me to go on dates, have fun etc but I just can't find it in myself to do that right now. This one guy (who I've known for a good while) knows that I'm single now and keeps asking to take me out, he's so lovely and sweet but I don't can't bring myself to go out on a date with him or anyone else. Plus I'm always exhausted because I have a wild 2 year oldand I only get 1 night on my own when my mum has my kid so I want to use that night as a quiet me night. Long uninterrupted baths, self care etc. But also I feel like im missing out &part of my thinks I'll never want to date again. Anyone else feel this way?
I needed to see this today
He sounds like a right piece of work with no respect for you. I’m so glad you are moving on, just block him everywhere so he doesn’t bother you in the future.I had a bit of a break as life got a bit hectic but just wanted to update you ladies.
So my last post in the last thread was about the guy I’d dated ages ago & then we’d gone out again recently & he left me confused.
Well, I increasingly got madder about the situation. I tried again to get some clarity, no joy so I just messaged & was like “ahh okay I’ll take the hint” type thing. He then came back & was like “no no that’s not the case blah blah”. He also made a comment about feeling I wasn’t healed which at the time I didn’t really bat an eye lid at (he knows about my narc ex) but the more I thought about it, the more I got angry over it. I’ve gone through hell & back as a result of my ex, & I’ve worked damn hard the last 3 years to get myself to where I am & this man, who hasn’t known me since 2018, spends a couple of hours with me & decides he can say that. I just thought how actually dare he. I’m upset because I valued this guy as a friend & I had a lot of respect for him.
also bare in mind, he made comments such as he didn’t have any baggage (not the word he used) & like no feelings for anyone - I have no idea why this was mentioned because that is the same for me bar the lasting trauma from the narc but he’d also told me on the date that his ex, despite splitting in aug last year, started turning up at work place in Febso I’m like, hun, you’ve got more “baggage” than me…
Anyway, I got drunk last weekend, called him out & he had the cheek to pretend he didn’t know what the issue was? Anyway, he then ignored me again despite me saying in earlier messages I was pissed off at him ignoring me & he insisted he hadn’t ignored me at all (). He kept coming back to this “well we needed to think about things & that’s a worry” which I agreed with. However, I believed we were thinking about whether we wanted to get involved with someone else after everything (on both sides) but apparently, he must have been thinking “actually do I wanna be with HER”.
All of this is completely fair by the way, which I had communicated to him in EVERY message that if you’re not feeling it that’s absolutely fine, we’ll always be friends. Yet even down to my last message (the harshest I’d sent) where I was like “look, this clearly isn’t happening, we’ll just be friends” he hasn’t even come back to be like “yeah ok” or “yeah that’s what I want” I was so angry over the entire situation & honestly just so disappointed in him.
YET HE WATCHES EVERYTHING ON INSTA even in between the times he wouldn’t reply to WhatsApp’s.
So yeah, I’ve drawn a line under that
Ive joined hinge again this weekend…think I’ll have it deleted by Monday
Sorry to hear this, make that line you’re drawing under this one, a line that’s in permanent marker pen and do not look back!I had a bit of a break as life got a bit hectic but just wanted to update you ladies.
So my last post in the last thread was about the guy I’d dated ages ago & then we’d gone out again recently & he left me confused.
Well, I increasingly got madder about the situation. I tried again to get some clarity, no joy so I just messaged & was like “ahh okay I’ll take the hint” type thing. He then came back & was like “no no that’s not the case blah blah”. He also made a comment about feeling I wasn’t healed which at the time I didn’t really bat an eye lid at (he knows about my narc ex) but the more I thought about it, the more I got angry over it. I’ve gone through hell & back as a result of my ex, & I’ve worked damn hard the last 3 years to get myself to where I am & this man, who hasn’t known me since 2018, spends a couple of hours with me & decides he can say that. I just thought how actually dare he. I’m upset because I valued this guy as a friend & I had a lot of respect for him.
also bare in mind, he made comments such as he didn’t have any baggage (not the word he used) & like no feelings for anyone - I have no idea why this was mentioned because that is the same for me bar the lasting trauma from the narc but he’d also told me on the date that his ex, despite splitting in aug last year, started turning up at work place in Febso I’m like, hun, you’ve got more “baggage” than me…
Anyway, I got drunk last weekend, called him out & he had the cheek to pretend he didn’t know what the issue was? Anyway, he then ignored me again despite me saying in earlier messages I was pissed off at him ignoring me & he insisted he hadn’t ignored me at all (). He kept coming back to this “well we needed to think about things & that’s a worry” which I agreed with. However, I believed we were thinking about whether we wanted to get involved with someone else after everything (on both sides) but apparently, he must have been thinking “actually do I wanna be with HER”.
All of this is completely fair by the way, which I had communicated to him in EVERY message that if you’re not feeling it that’s absolutely fine, we’ll always be friends. Yet even down to my last message (the harshest I’d sent) where I was like “look, this clearly isn’t happening, we’ll just be friends” he hasn’t even come back to be like “yeah ok” or “yeah that’s what I want” I was so angry over the entire situation & honestly just so disappointed in him.
YET HE WATCHES EVERYTHING ON INSTA even in between the times he wouldn’t reply to WhatsApp’s.
So yeah, I’ve drawn a line under that
Ive joined hinge again this weekend…think I’ll have it deleted by Monday
Speak for yourselfView attachment 2120007
I think I'd choose not to be flown directly into a human trafficking ring thanks love
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