Dating after lockdown #27 Being on Tinder to find a man of value is like looking in the bin for a Rolex

[mozzarellagirl]

I have a feeling my date Wednesday isn't going to happen. He's barely messaged me since last Wednesday, hasn't read my last message which I sent friday (had a question in the message, so not like he had nothing to respond to). Just disappointed.
Need to make sure I don't get sucked into the whole "nobody's ever going to love me/what's wrong with me" spiral of unhappiness. Dating is evaluating, I'm a lovely person and I will be a great partner, and if he doesn't want to meet then it just isn't meant to be.

It's a very crappy blessing in disguise. I know it sucks and it's hard to not internalise it - but really, it's just a man. There's plenty and majority of them behave like it, so it can't possibly be a you problem can it?

If he happens to reply, please try to refrain from responding! He's clearly made his mind up

 

[harveydean]

It's a very crappy blessing in disguise. I know it sucks and it's hard to not internalise it - but really, it's just a man. There's plenty and majority of them behave like it, so it can't possibly be a you problem can it?

If he happens to reply, please try to refrain from responding! He's clearly made his mind up

Exactly - do yourself a favour and block. He’s a tosser.

 

[Thank(space)you]

The chat has already been blocked and deleted. I like to think of rejection as redirection towards something better

 

[Kitty kat 20]

Ladies it's rant time. I need you're opinions on a guy and I already know the answer but it's best to ask anyway.

So was supposed to meet a guy this evening so all was fine I thought, he texted asking if still on. I said yes and I was getting ready etc. During my getting ready he sends another text that he can only stay until a certain time as has to do something. I asked why didn't you tell me this earlier..He says I forgot I only got a call there to remind him and did I still want to meet.

Bare in mind it would only have been around a 30 minutes date, I didn't see the point and told him another time but there's no way I'm entertaining him again.. he kept saying I'll wait until you're ready bla bla but I said no..

Background to him I've meet him once before and got on well etc but it's like he just wants to hit it and quit it. That's what I feel like. This isn't the first time,he has in the past sent a text asking what I'm doing and would I be up for meeting etc no actual planned date by him so obviously I said no.

It actually upset me as I was doing my makeup etc was such a waste of time. I just feel he wants everything on his terms like with meeting.

I know he's a loser and it's his loss and I will be blocking and deleting.

 

[xcyber]

Ladies it's rant time. I need you're opinions on a guy and I already know the answer but it's best to ask anyway.

So was supposed to meet a guy this evening so all was fine I thought, he texted asking if still on. I said yes and I was getting ready etc. During my getting ready he sends another text that he can only stay until a certain time as has to do something. I asked why didn't you tell me this earlier..He says I forgot I only got a call there to remind him and did I still want to meet.

Bare in mind it would only have been around a 30 minutes date, I didn't see the point and told him another time but there's no way I'm entertaining him again.. he kept saying I'll wait until you're ready bla bla but I said no..

Background to him I've meet him once before and got on well etc but it's like he just wants to hit it and quit it. That's what I feel like. This isn't the first time,he has in the past sent a text asking what I'm doing and would I be up for meeting etc no actual planned date by him so obviously I said no.

It actually upset me as I was doing my makeup etc was such a waste of time. I just feel he wants everything on his terms like with meeting.

I know he's a loser and it's his loss and I will be blocking and deleting.

Def one for the bin. It’s just so disrespectful of your time and effort to basically bail such last minute. Zero consideration. As we say a lot on this thread ‘trust your gut’. It never lies! X

 

[harveydean]

The chat has already been blocked and deleted. I like to think of rejection as redirection towards something better

It’s not rejection - it’s just a misalignment. And he’s a tosser
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Ladies it's rant time. I need you're opinions on a guy and I already know the answer but it's best to ask anyway.

So was supposed to meet a guy this evening so all was fine I thought, he texted asking if still on. I said yes and I was getting ready etc. During my getting ready he sends another text that he can only stay until a certain time as has to do something. I asked why didn't you tell me this earlier..He says I forgot I only got a call there to remind him and did I still want to meet.

Bare in mind it would only have been around a 30 minutes date, I didn't see the point and told him another time but there's no way I'm entertaining him again.. he kept saying I'll wait until you're ready bla bla but I said no..

Background to him I've meet him once before and got on well etc but it's like he just wants to hit it and quit it. That's what I feel like. This isn't the first time,he has in the past sent a text asking what I'm doing and would I be up for meeting etc no actual planned date by him so obviously I said no.

It actually upset me as I was doing my makeup etc was such a waste of time. I just feel he wants everything on his terms like with meeting.

I know he's a loser and it's his loss and I will be blocking and deleting.

So disrespectful! Do men honestly think we’ve got nothing better to do then wait around for them to grace us with their dickery? Glad you’ve put him in the bin.

 

[IGiveUp22]

I actually think men do this to see how much we’d put up with ya know.
There’s only so many chances/benefit of the doubt you can give a person before you need to think - nah you’re just a knob

I’m due on my period so I hate everyone at the minute & I’ve now suddenly got angry over the guy I last posted about. I just think who the hell are you to disturb my peace.

 

[Sir Lancelot]

From a male perspective, most dating apps seem to be filled with bots, scam accounts or men pretending to be women for some strange reason.

 

[Anne1448]

I actually think men do this to see how much we’d put up with ya know.

1000% this

Men that you meet through dating apps will constantly try to push your boundaries to see how far they can go. If you stick with your boundaries, the time wasters will run for the hills quickly. BUT they will try to come back later down the line to see if you forgive them.

This could be a whole thread of its own

 

[IGiveUp22]

From a male perspective, most dating apps seem to be filled with bots, scam accounts or men pretending to be women for some strange reason.

Yeah it’s interesting to get the perspective from the other side. I can imagine it does make men jaded thinking women aren’t real/bots etc however when they seem to match genuine women, they continue to let themselves down (obv not all, but most)

 

[EndofInfluencers]

From a male perspective, most dating apps seem to be filled with bots, scam accounts or men pretending to be women for some strange reason.

Interesting to hear from someone from the other side, so to speak…From speaking to someone recently on Bumble he said that around 20% of the women on Bumble are on there solely to promote their OnlyFans and/or IG account- which further proves my suspicions that Bumble is Tinder lite at this point.

ETA- Are the men fronting as women trying to meet in person?

 

[Clementine]

A guy I met from Tinder told me about women on Tinder purely looking for men to create content with for their OnlyFans. That scenario just makes guys think every woman on there is similiar.

 

[Sir Lancelot]

Is this where I say "Not all men..." and get shouted at?

There are a lot of bots/people advertising OnlyFans etc on these apps (or total scams asking for money or gift cards), but it is sooooooooooooo frustrating when you see so many men being utter bleeping dicks to women; I hate 'banter', lad culture, the vile behaviour that things like Geordie Shore and TOWIE seem to reinforce.
I think, and I have no data on this, that at least 80% of all men on dating sites are just looking for a shag.

This is why there needs to be a version of Grindr for 'straight' people who just want to hook up.

 

[Clementine]

Or a dating site for men who want to actually date. Ludicrous idea, I know

Here are 3 profiles of men I’ve just swiped left on…

 

[mozzarellagirl]

I actually think men do this to see how much we’d put up with ya know.

You are 100% correct.
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Or a dating site for men who want to actually date. Ludicrous idea, I know

Here are 3 profiles of men I’ve just swiped left on…

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Tell me you're a misogynistic porn addict without telling me you're a misogynistic porn addict... I hope he gets hit by a bus
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Is this where I say "Not all men..." and get shouted at?

 

[boomska]

Arranged a dog walking date- no time or meeting point as it was happening a few days later. Then on said day, didn’t hear from the bloke all day- didn’t chase etc nothing. And still not chasing him, even for an explanation/apology 24hrs later, deleted the chat, deleted his number growth for me!!

even if they’re not showing their best behaviour at the start* then get gone.
It’s like a job basically!
*excepts applied.

 

[EndofInfluencers]

@boomska Love this- we need to realise that we set the standard.

 

[boomska]

@boomska Love this- we need to realise that we set the standard.

absolutely!!! I was listening to a podcast and it said someone coming into your life should an addition, not instead of. And that’s my motive now! If I’ve got someone adding stres, anxiety, worry etc instead of fun, laughter, consistency etc- be gone!

 

[pbontoast]

absolutely!!! I was listening to a podcast and it said someone coming into your life should an addition, not instead of. And that’s my motive now! If I’ve got someone adding stres, anxiety, worry etc instead of fun, laughter, consistency etc- be gone!

Well done for deleting and not chasing! What podcast was it?

 

[boomska]

Well done for deleting and not chasing! What podcast was it?

Thanks! It’s super hard but I need to learn from my past mistakes. What’s funny is he knows someone I used to “see” and think he’s a prick. But he’s doing the same behaviour the bloke he thinks a prick

it’s this one! Found her on TikTok and the. Found her podcast.30 minute-ish episodes!