Thank you so much for all the responses, I really appreciate it. I don’t disagree with anything that’s been said. If it was a friend in this situation, I would absolutely be suggesting they end the relationship. I have spoken to him many times about issues, I do believe he cares, but is just unable to meet my needs. He has been trying, and he is getting therapy. He had a very traumatic relationship prior to me, and unbeknownst to me at the time, basically jumped straight from that one to me (I’d been single for ages). So I can see where his behaviour comes from, but it’s just an explanation, not an excuse for it. I don’t know if he can make the changes I would need for it to work even with the therapy, and I also don’t want to be waiting for months/years and nothing changes. Whatever that saying is about ‘you can’t date someone’s potential’ is probably it.
Ive never settled before, I’ve always ended things when they aren’t working. I’ve been single for significant periods of time and although lonely, I’ve survived. I definitely don’t want an unhealthy or unhappy relationship. I guess with him it’s just been more difficult because when I bring up the issues he acknowledges them and has sought help. It’s not enough for me though, I guess because they aren’t minor issues.
Now I just need to work out how and when to have this conversation
Ive never settled before, I’ve always ended things when they aren’t working. I’ve been single for significant periods of time and although lonely, I’ve survived. I definitely don’t want an unhealthy or unhappy relationship. I guess with him it’s just been more difficult because when I bring up the issues he acknowledges them and has sought help. It’s not enough for me though, I guess because they aren’t minor issues.
Now I just need to work out how and when to have this conversation