I think a lot of people aren't willing to take responsibility for passing on STIs because there is *such* a stigma around them still, it's not anything to do with you at all @Thank(space)you he's just projecting.
Dating after lockdown #23 Can you HTML though?
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Thank you all, I'm going to the clinic this afternoon to get my antibiotics, trying to look on the plus side that at least I got tested, caught it early and it's easily treatable.
Oh and that I've not given it to anyone else because I've not slept with anyone else
Oh and that I've not given it to anyone else because I've not slept with anyone else
An update: done with men 
I just can’t with the being ignored, hot then cold nonsense. He’s been blocked.
I just can’t with the being ignored, hot then cold nonsense. He’s been blocked.Why do guys message you and keep you excited for 10 days straight only to soft fade and ghost the day before the date you planned. What kind of sick pleasure do they get from this?
I think it’s apathy and fear, and totally not a reflection on you at all.
And I’m also beginning to wonder if there’s an awful lot of people online dating caught in on/off situationships. So when they’re keen, they’re off and then all of a sudden the other person comes back in their life and they don’t know what to do.
I’m also really guilty of forgetting about the apps. I turn notifications off when I’m going to be around people because they’re so recognisable and then I genuinely just don’t think to check them for a couple of days.
And I’m also beginning to wonder if there’s an awful lot of people online dating caught in on/off situationships. So when they’re keen, they’re off and then all of a sudden the other person comes back in their life and they don’t know what to do.
I’m also really guilty of forgetting about the apps. I turn notifications off when I’m going to be around people because they’re so recognisable and then I genuinely just don’t think to check them for a couple of days.
Is the date today or tomorrow?
They could have a genuine reason but a lot of the time I think they just enjoy the attention and have no real intentions.
Being ghosted has happened to me so many times it's starting to feel like it's a me thing.
For me these last two weeks were about getting to know each other. Getting a vibe.
For him, it was an ego boost. Just a laugh.
You're all gonna think I'm being dramatic. But this, this is it. I can't do this anymore, getting excited to meet someone and getting the tit kicked out of me every time.
Tomorrow evening
Be as dramatic as you like. He could still text you though.
I would not personally put much faith in it. You know when you just . . . Know?
Forgot that I still follow my ex on Twitter (I use Twitter about once a year) and opened the app today to be greeted by him liking thirst trap pics of half naked women. It's not just one or two, it's multiple pictures every day. It's something we always used to argue about - I'd say it was disrespectful and made me feel insecure, like I wasn't enough for him as I'm a very average 5'6 size 10 ok looking woman and he would be liking posts by 5'11 super thin gorgeous goddesses.
I have no idea if his new girlfriend is completely fine with it or if she's just completely unaware. I have no desire to find out. But weirdly it's made me feel a lot better. I very much appreciate that people have different views on this but if I'm with someone, I want them to want me and only me. And particularly for them to not continue to do things that I've told them make me feel like tit.
Also randomly, the guy uses too many emojis. One of his tweets was "see you soon
". Like why the need for the emoji? I don't know why this bothers me so much but you know when you go off someone and suddenly everything they do starts seeming really cringe rather than really cute?
Anyway, onwards and (hopefully) upwards.
I have no idea if his new girlfriend is completely fine with it or if she's just completely unaware. I have no desire to find out. But weirdly it's made me feel a lot better. I very much appreciate that people have different views on this but if I'm with someone, I want them to want me and only me. And particularly for them to not continue to do things that I've told them make me feel like tit.
Also randomly, the guy uses too many emojis. One of his tweets was "see you soon
". Like why the need for the emoji? I don't know why this bothers me so much but you know when you go off someone and suddenly everything they do starts seeming really cringe rather than really cute?Anyway, onwards and (hopefully) upwards.
Feeling lonely tonight, may re-download tinder again soon. Maybe 3rd time lucky? Last time I got 200 matches but only 1 led to a date, ridiculous.
This is what modern dating is. They just. . . Disappear. And I'm tired of it. I'm done.
I've thought for a while, back when my ex and I separated, "there isn't someone there for you" and this has kind of just confirmed it.
I've thought for a while, back when my ex and I separated, "there isn't someone there for you" and this has kind of just confirmed it.
I think the situationship comment was pretty accurate.. Almost everyone has something going on in the background these days and use people to fill voids.
Don’t worry, I think we’ve all experienced the same emotions and the defeatism. Just take a break from it and return to it when you’re feeling a bit more optimistic about dating.
I personally don't believe in soul mates, but that doesn't mean the ex is right. Just because they weren't the right person for you, doesn't mean that there isn't someone who's out there who's gonna be right for you.
I've done online dating so many times and I just struggle so hard in getting myself motivated to do it again.
It's the same tit over and over:
Situation 1 - Endless texting about really boring small talk topics, then we never meet
Situation 2 - A little bit of chat, we meet, we seem to like each other, we have a second date, then nothing.
Situation 3 - A few dates where he seems nice enough but then he gets too comfortable too fast and his true mole self comes out.
It's the same tit over and over:
Situation 1 - Endless texting about really boring small talk topics, then we never meet
Situation 2 - A little bit of chat, we meet, we seem to like each other, we have a second date, then nothing.
Situation 3 - A few dates where he seems nice enough but then he gets too comfortable too fast and his true mole self comes out.
Sorry if this is news to nobody, but who was going to tell me that vibrators have become so advanced?! They’re in friendly colors, nicer materials, T-sonic pulsations and more 🥹 emotionally I don’t feel great right now but I’m definitely a little bit better. I think all that is left is to see a therapist routinely and then I’m done. Like, I win 🥲
Wanted to chip in with this as I had an ex who was similar. I see a lot of women being like "he's following stunning size 6 models and I'm a size 12! How can I ever compare?!" but that doesn't mean he isn't or wasn't attracted to you. The way I see it, men are always going to have their heads turned by beautiful women but likewise women with men. I've accepted that future partners will very likely fancy other people at some point. It's normal. What matters is that they don't act on it and respect your relationship. But sometimes they don't... and that's when it becomes an issue.Forgot that I still follow my ex on Twitter (I use Twitter about once a year) and opened the app today to be greeted by him liking thirst trap pics of half naked women. It's not just one or two, it's multiple pictures every day. It's something we always used to argue about - I'd say it was disrespectful and made me feel insecure, like I wasn't enough for him as I'm a very average 5'6 size 10 ok looking woman and he would be liking posts by 5'11 super thin gorgeous goddesses.
I have no idea if his new girlfriend is completely fine with it or if she's just completely unaware. I have no desire to find out. But weirdly it's made me feel a lot better. I very much appreciate that people have different views on this but if I'm with someone, I want them to want me and only me. And particularly for them to not continue to do things that I've told them make me feel like tit.
Also randomly, the guy uses too many emojis. One of his tweets was "see you soon
Anyway, onwards and (hopefully) upwards.
But men following countless accounts of models/liking thirst traps is a red flag because in my experience, it has usually been a sign of something deeper, specifically a porn addiction. A man with a busy life/hobbies etc simply wouldn't waste his time on this crap. So I tread very carefully around this sort of thing now and really encourage other women to do the same. If it feels off, it usually is.
Hello all! Been dipping through this thread (so lovely to read so much support and help for everyone - makes my cold dead heart happy!)
I don't know if this is ok to post but I need somewhere!! Hoping someone might have some advice or been through something similar.
End of last year my husband of 25 years (I'm in my 40s but we did marry young!) decided that married and family life wasn't for him. He meant someone else on social media, met up with her behind my back (posted about it though so I found out through there) and decided our marriage was over. We have 4 children (3 still at home) and he barely bothers with them either.
It's now been a while and I don't know if I miss him or just having someone. The thought of even trying to date or meet someone is terrifying and I genuinely know I look an absolute state at the moment. After sorting out the house, work and the kids I have nothing left over.
I just don't want to be on my own forever but equally I have no idea how to start again. I've basically spent my whole adult life with one person
I don't know if this is ok to post but I need somewhere!! Hoping someone might have some advice or been through something similar.
End of last year my husband of 25 years (I'm in my 40s but we did marry young!) decided that married and family life wasn't for him. He meant someone else on social media, met up with her behind my back (posted about it though so I found out through there) and decided our marriage was over. We have 4 children (3 still at home) and he barely bothers with them either.
It's now been a while and I don't know if I miss him or just having someone. The thought of even trying to date or meet someone is terrifying and I genuinely know I look an absolute state at the moment. After sorting out the house, work and the kids I have nothing left over.
I just don't want to be on my own forever but equally I have no idea how to start again. I've basically spent my whole adult life with one person
Very much agree, you've worded this perfectly. It's unrealistic to imagine that people won't ever look at others and think "wow he/she's good looking" and I do it myself sometimes. If it had been a scenario where, let's say, he was scrolling through IG, saw a pic of a model and thought "oh she's attractive" and then moved on, I'd be fine.
It was the constant liking of other girls' pics that got to me. The thing that hurt me most was that he knew I got upset by it (rightly or wrongly) and instead of acknowledging my feelings and reassuring me, he just kept on going and told me I was overreacting.
To be blunt, I know that I'm fairly average looking. I'm never going to be the girl that turns heads and of course I have my little wobbles, but generally I'm ok with that. I have other things going for me that I personally think are more important, and I'd rather be with someone who likes me as a whole person, rather than just for my looks.
My ex always claimed he valued qualities like ambition, independence and empathy more than anything. I personally think he cares a lot more about image and how other people perceive him than he either realises or admits. His new girlfriend was well and truly paraded on social media, I've lost count of the number of bikini and even lingerie pics I saw of her. Nothing of them just doing normal couple activities. A couple of friends even commented that anything he posted of her gave off a very "look at my girlfriend, isn't she hot, aren't you all jealous" vibe and how weird that was. Couple that with a few small comments he made to me over the years ("are you sure that's what you want to wear?") and it all kind of adds up. Maybe I am reaching with this theory and maybe I am nothing more than a bitter ex, but it makes sense in my head and makes me feel a bit better about things. If that's the type of guy he is then fair enough, but I'm not that girl.
I'm rambling a bit now to get things off my chest and I'm definitely not a psychologist so I'll end here.
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