Dating after lockdown #23 Can you HTML though?

MsCurly · Sep 12, 2022

Losa53 said:
Honestly I give up...story off my life.
View attachment 1572539

I get the feeling that he feels super bad about it, and that he is genuinely trying to comfort you. Did you genuinely think he was lying?

Losa53 · Sep 12, 2022

MsCurly said:
I get the feeling that he feels super bad about it, and that he is genuinely trying to comfort you. Did you genuinely think he was lying?

I did at first because seems like a random thing to suddenly book to go travelling for 8 months but he does seem genuinely and he did say he rather tell me now then end up sleeping with me then telling me which I appreciate.
I dont think he lying now but I'm just gutted it didn't work again lol.

dexterdots · Sep 12, 2022

So I went on a date on Friday, it was okay! Just okay, I was tired by the end of it. To be honest, we spent 2 hours doing an activity and I was tired. I just wanted to go home. He was a bit full on for me and tried to kiss me by grabbing my face whilst I was leaving and it just wasn’t for me and I kind of did a quick peck and said bye. Haven’t heard for him bar Snapchat’s (i don’t even have notifications on for Snapchat) and I didn’t see it until the next day and I was quite dry in the response. He kinda gave me the ick

can’t explain it. But, now I’m not sure, am I being rude by not writing to him telling him that it wasn’t for me? He hasn’t whatsapped me either so maybe just leave it off??

candyland_ · Sep 12, 2022

dexterdots said:
So I went on a date on Friday, it was okay! Just okay, I was tired by the end of it. To be honest, we spent 2 hours doing an activity and I was tired. I just wanted to go home. He was a bit full on for me and tried to kiss me by grabbing my face whilst I was leaving and it just wasn’t for me and I kind of did a quick peck and said bye. Haven’t heard for him bar Snapchat’s (i don’t even have notifications on for Snapchat) and I didn’t see it until the next day and I was quite dry in the response. He kinda gave me the ick can’t explain it. But, now I’m not sure, am I being rude by not writing to him telling him that it wasn’t for me? He hasn’t whatsapped me either so maybe just leave it off??

I’d usually send a quick text telling them but I like to be straight up but since he isn’t making much effort I would just leave it and say something if he keeps sending snapchats.

Sandor · Sep 12, 2022

dexterdots said:
So I went on a date on Friday, it was okay! Just okay, I was tired by the end of it. To be honest, we spent 2 hours doing an activity and I was tired. I just wanted to go home. He was a bit full on for me and tried to kiss me by grabbing my face whilst I was leaving and it just wasn’t for me and I kind of did a quick peck and said bye. Haven’t heard for him bar Snapchat’s (i don’t even have notifications on for Snapchat) and I didn’t see it until the next day and I was quite dry in the response. He kinda gave me the ick can’t explain it. But, now I’m not sure, am I being rude by not writing to him telling him that it wasn’t for me? He hasn’t whatsapped me either so maybe just leave it off??

We talk quite a lot on here about how ghosting after meeting makes us feel and usually I’d advise a quick ‘nice to meet you but I’m not interested message but if he hasn’t messaged you either, I think you’re ok to just leave it for now.

AT_16 · Sep 12, 2022

god is anyone else getting so fed up with dating? as soon as i start speaking to someone before we can even get on a date they seem to go cold on me after coming across as keen. Started speaking with someone 2/3 weeks ago and we really seemed to click and he gave it all the “you’ve restored my faith in dating” and now he is giving me the cold shoulder. Im not sure if hes doing the push/pull method or if hes just not interested all of sudden, but if that’s the case then why don’t they just tell us?!

suzuka__ · Sep 12, 2022

LaBlonde said:
aw i’m okay! haven’t been posting here much as i’m just getting increasingly fed up with the whole dating thing (after a stream of men who are really interested for about two days and then suddenly stop replying). i think i’m accepting that i will never find anyone

how are you doing?

Absolutely, I'm also fed up with opening myself to random men on dating apps with very whimsical behavior. I've talked to some really decent people on there to be fair, but everyone is dealing with their own issues and it's just a bit much when it starts affecting me. I'm deleting the app for now.

I also had that whole thing this weekend of "I have to accept that I'll never find someone, it's just me now and have to be happy with it, make the best of it". But I think that makes me miserable as well, got to keep the hope up somehow?

So I'm considering my options for self-care, I think getting a manicure might be a good way to kick it off again?

Lalla · Sep 12, 2022

I was chatting to a 50 something single friend over the weekend. She's been messaging this guy on and off for months, yet he's never arranged a date (she mentioned it ages ago but he was busy, and never mentioned it again) so she's kind of put him on the back burner.

Anyway, because in this area everyone knows everyone, especially if you drink in certain places, turns out he frequents a social club which some other of our friends go to. And in speaking to them my friend found out he's often in there pontificating about how single he is, and can't meet a decent woman.

Probably because he spends all his time drinking in there rather than getting off his a and going on a date.

Walnutss · Sep 12, 2022

Thank(space)you said:
My 30th is fast approaching and I know I need to let go of the timeline etc but I can't help but feel disappointed I'm still gonna be single I just wanted to meet someone and have another baby. I'm the only single one out of my friends bar one, I don't have anyone who can relate to how I'm feeling.
I just always imagined I'd be in a family by now. I don't even want to celebrate my birthday
I know a relationship isn't the be all and end all and I need to find my own happiness, but on a lonely Saturday night it gets to me sometimes

I didn't have a bf when I turned 30 I went for a dinner with my family who are all in couples except me.
I spent my whole 20s in long term relationships people were certain I'd get married to one of them. But I found myself single and I was single for another 2 years. In that time I grew more confident put up with less tit and grew as a person.
I'm 35 now I have a bf and I have a baby. I was with him for 4 months when I got pregnant. If u had told me that night in my 30th I'd have this one day I would never have believed you

Keep the faith trust the timing of your life and enjoy the ride

candyland_ · Sep 12, 2022

I’ve got a super keen lad texting me. He’s six years younger than me, great conversation, gym body.. but why don’t I want to see him?

My friends say I am my own worst enemy. I always meet amazing lads but then I never want them.

Clementine · Sep 12, 2022

I do this @candyland_ it’s mostly self sabotage and prob some self esteem nonsense thrown in there too. It’s like I can’t believe somebody like that would want me…might not the same for you though.

dexterdots · Sep 12, 2022

Sandor said:
We talk quite a lot on here about how ghosting after meeting makes us feel and usually I’d advise a quick ‘nice to meet you but I’m not interested message but if he hasn’t messaged you either, I think you’re ok to just leave it for now.

Thanks for the advice. I felt rude but I act didn’t even know what to say. I woke up the next morning from the date and got the shivers about it

TheTinyHuman · Sep 12, 2022

TheTinyHuman said:
Ok I know this will make me look more unhinged than a broken door but we're here now so I really would love a lil advice.

Matched on Tinder last week. Spent the whole weekend messaging back and forth. Quiet during the work day, messaging again at night after work. Even messaged me while in the middle of a brothers catch up call. Busy schedules so first date set for Wednesday next week. So far, on board. All good right?

So. I found him on Facebook. He had previously mentioned an ex. Didn't mention how long he's been single, I didn't press on it. Turns out it's at least since after March because his EX FIANCEÉ tagged him in a sweet birthday message.

Of course, he doesn't know I know he was once engaged, likely until very recently. What would you do when going into this? How would you tread?

All thoughts, positive or not, welcome.

Sort of getting Ghost vibes from this guy. He hasn't really seemed to message as much this weekend, and not at all today.

Should I message tomorrow and ask are we still good for Wednesday?

Lovethesun · Sep 12, 2022

No don’t chase , wait for him to mention it if he wanted to he would. If it seems like he’s cooling off don’t give him the opportunity to come up with a bull excuse . Just be breezy

Thank(space)you · Sep 12, 2022

Walnutss said:
I didn't have a bf when I turned 30 I went for a dinner with my family who are all in couples except me.
I spent my whole 20s in long term relationships people were certain I'd get married to one of them. But I found myself single and I was single for another 2 years. In that time I grew more confident put up with less tit and grew as a person.
I'm 35 now I have a bf and I have a baby. I was with him for 4 months when I got pregnant. If u had told me that night in my 30th I'd have this one day I would never have believed you

Keep the faith trust the timing of your life and enjoy the ride

Thank you, I do really appreciate it. I know I need to get out of my own head.

Also, had a bad plot twist with my dating life

So I get STI checked after each new partner if we haven't used a condom. Had my results back from the time I slept with Mr Migraine. He's given me chlamydia ( all my tests for the last 10 years have been clean, haven't slept with anyone but him since my last test) anyway, I've done the decent thing and told him, didn't put any blame, just a text saying "this is awkward, but I've got my sti results and I've got chlamydia, I'd recommend you get checked too. Here is the link to view my results if you wish [link here]"
So he's said he was taking antibiotics for chlamydia when we slept together but didn't think it important to mention it!
I was really pissed off but responded a lot better than I could have, I kept calm didn't fly off the handle.
But I do think it's disgusting how he can do that. He then tried blaming me saying I'd given it to him because he was on the antibiotics so wouldn't have had it any more!! I said it doesn't matter where it came from, the importance is getting checked, taking the medication, and testing after to make sure the antibiotics worked.

I'm so hurt by it though.

Pinhead Larry · Sep 12, 2022

Thank(space)you said:
Thank you, I do really appreciate it. I know I need to get out of my own head.

Also, had a bad plot twist with my dating life

So I get STI checked after each new partner if we haven't used a condom. Had my results back from the time I slept with Mr Migraine. He's given me chlamydia ( all my tests for the last 10 years have been clean, haven't slept with anyone but him since my last test) anyway, I've done the decent thing and told him, didn't put any blame, just a text saying "this is awkward, but I've got my sti results and I've got chlamydia, I'd recommend you get checked too. Here is the link to view my results if you wish [link here]"
So he's said he was taking antibiotics for chlamydia when we slept together but didn't think it important to mention it!
I was really pissed off but responded a lot better than I could have, I kept calm didn't fly off the handle.
But I do think it's disgusting how he can do that. He then tried blaming me saying I'd given it to him because he was on the antibiotics so wouldn't have had it any more!! I said it doesn't matter where it came from, the importance is getting checked, taking the medication, and testing after to make sure the antibiotics worked.

I'm so hurt by it though.

Thats absolutely awful! Luckily you’re sensible enough to do the test, and it shows he’s just a disgusting piece of work trying to bat the blame back.

Snackella · Sep 12, 2022

Thank(space)you said:
Thank you, I do really appreciate it. I know I need to get out of my own head.

Also, had a bad plot twist with my dating life

So I get STI checked after each new partner if we haven't used a condom. Had my results back from the time I slept with Mr Migraine. He's given me chlamydia ( all my tests for the last 10 years have been clean, haven't slept with anyone but him since my last test) anyway, I've done the decent thing and told him, didn't put any blame, just a text saying "this is awkward, but I've got my sti results and I've got chlamydia, I'd recommend you get checked too. Here is the link to view my results if you wish [link here]"
So he's said he was taking antibiotics for chlamydia when we slept together but didn't think it important to mention it!
I was really pissed off but responded a lot better than I could have, I kept calm didn't fly off the handle.
But I do think it's disgusting how he can do that. He then tried blaming me saying I'd given it to him because he was on the antibiotics so wouldn't have had it any more!! I said it doesn't matter where it came from, the importance is getting checked, taking the medication, and testing after to make sure the antibiotics worked.

I'm so hurt by it though.

Ahhh, I'm so sorry. He's an absolute wick. Shows how important it is to get tested frequently!

Fwiw, you've just reminded me that I need to get tested since my last hook up and a condom that slipped off lol

Walnutss · Sep 12, 2022

Thank(space)you said:
Thank you, I do really appreciate it. I know I need to get out of my own head.

Also, had a bad plot twist with my dating life

So I get STI checked after each new partner if we haven't used a condom. Had my results back from the time I slept with Mr Migraine. He's given me chlamydia ( all my tests for the last 10 years have been clean, haven't slept with anyone but him since my last test) anyway, I've done the decent thing and told him, didn't put any blame, just a text saying "this is awkward, but I've got my sti results and I've got chlamydia, I'd recommend you get checked too. Here is the link to view my results if you wish [link here]"
So he's said he was taking antibiotics for chlamydia when we slept together but didn't think it important to mention it!
I was really pissed off but responded a lot better than I could have, I kept calm didn't fly off the handle.
But I do think it's disgusting how he can do that. He then tried blaming me saying I'd given it to him because he was on the antibiotics so wouldn't have had it any more!! I said it doesn't matter where it came from, the importance is getting checked, taking the medication, and testing after to make sure the antibiotics worked.

I'm so hurt by it though.

That is gross what a gross disgusting man. I would send him 100 text messages telling him so. Lucky you caught it early
What is wrong with some men

Sandor · Sep 13, 2022

Thank(space)you said:
Thank you, I do really appreciate it. I know I need to get out of my own head.

Also, had a bad plot twist with my dating life

So I get STI checked after each new partner if we haven't used a condom. Had my results back from the time I slept with Mr Migraine. He's given me chlamydia ( all my tests for the last 10 years have been clean, haven't slept with anyone but him since my last test) anyway, I've done the decent thing and told him, didn't put any blame, just a text saying "this is awkward, but I've got my sti results and I've got chlamydia, I'd recommend you get checked too. Here is the link to view my results if you wish [link here]"
So he's said he was taking antibiotics for chlamydia when we slept together but didn't think it important to mention it!
I was really pissed off but responded a lot better than I could have, I kept calm didn't fly off the handle.
But I do think it's disgusting how he can do that. He then tried blaming me saying I'd given it to him because he was on the antibiotics so wouldn't have had it any more!! I said it doesn't matter where it came from, the importance is getting checked, taking the medication, and testing after to make sure the antibiotics worked.

I'm so hurt by it though.

Oh lovely, I’m so sorry. The knowing is what makes it awful. Is there anything we can do to help you talk through it? I’m a stickler for STI tests. One of my worse nightmares. Recent ex gave me HPV and it rapidly grew into cancerous cells. But at least with that I knew it wasn’t something he could have known about and I was so lucky that I had my smear due when I did otherwise I’d never have known.

Losa53 · Sep 13, 2022

Thank(space)you said:
Thank you, I do really appreciate it. I know I need to get out of my own head.

Also, had a bad plot twist with my dating life

So I get STI checked after each new partner if we haven't used a condom. Had my results back from the time I slept with Mr Migraine. He's given me chlamydia ( all my tests for the last 10 years have been clean, haven't slept with anyone but him since my last test) anyway, I've done the decent thing and told him, didn't put any blame, just a text saying "this is awkward, but I've got my sti results and I've got chlamydia, I'd recommend you get checked too. Here is the link to view my results if you wish [link here]"
So he's said he was taking antibiotics for chlamydia when we slept together but didn't think it important to mention it!
I was really pissed off but responded a lot better than I could have, I kept calm didn't fly off the handle.
But I do think it's disgusting how he can do that. He then tried blaming me saying I'd given it to him because he was on the antibiotics so wouldn't have had it any more!! I said it doesn't matter where it came from, the importance is getting checked, taking the medication, and testing after to make sure the antibiotics worked.

I'm so hurt by it though.

That's absolutely vile off him.
Hope you feel better soon x

I'm not really a girly girl so after constant failed 1st dates I've decided to be bit more 'girly' I'm getting my eye lashes done; nails and going to start tanning. I dont think I could stretch to heels just yet
I'm also back on my diet and going gym
I lost 4 stone and a decent size 10 but going to start muscle building and toning up