Stringing you along, bin him off
Dating after lockdown #23 Can you HTML though?
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He’s chatting tit. It’s a NOPE from me.
I’d unmatch him and leave it there.
I can't understand why he would do that. Surely if he wanted to get out of a date there's other excuses to use.
If he wasn't interested, why message for all those 10 days?
My thoughts flick between "if he wasn't interested he wouldn't message for 10 days, nearly two weeks, I mean he could get a quick buck if he wanted one" and "NO duck ALL THIS BURN IT TO THE FLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR"
If he wasn't interested, why message for all those 10 days?
My thoughts flick between "if he wasn't interested he wouldn't message for 10 days, nearly two weeks, I mean he could get a quick buck if he wanted one" and "NO duck ALL THIS BURN IT TO THE FLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR"
@TheTinyHuman I really think you need to remember this is totally about him. I completely understand wanting to know the motivation but none of this, absolutely none of it, is a reflection on you. And perhaps don’t invest too much emotional energy during the talking stage. Because you can talk regularly and then think actually, this isn’t the one for me.
If he’s happy in his little box of almost dates, leave him there. It’s of his making.
I can’t believe how many people tempt fate with family bereavements though!
If he’s happy in his little box of almost dates, leave him there. It’s of his making.
I can’t believe how many people tempt fate with family bereavements though!
Hi all
I hope you are all well?
I really need some advice! I went on a date with a guy I had been talking to forever on Friday, the date was ok, no butterflies, I’m not attracted to him but he’s crazy about me and wants a relationship so I thought he deserved a chance. I kissed him to see if a spark came but nothing.
We arranged our second date a nice meal and a moviefor Saturday and he has now said he can’t afford it (I get in the movie for free!!!) and can we do something else.
Im totally switched off now, he must be pretty broke and I want someone I can do fun things with that cost money. I don’t reallyeven fancy him. I want to let him down gently but don’t know how to word it. Any help is appreciated
I hope you are all well?
I really need some advice! I went on a date with a guy I had been talking to forever on Friday, the date was ok, no butterflies, I’m not attracted to him but he’s crazy about me and wants a relationship so I thought he deserved a chance. I kissed him to see if a spark came but nothing.
We arranged our second date a nice meal and a moviefor Saturday and he has now said he can’t afford it (I get in the movie for free!!!) and can we do something else.
Im totally switched off now, he must be pretty broke and I want someone I can do fun things with that cost money. I don’t reallyeven fancy him. I want to let him down gently but don’t know how to word it. Any help is appreciated
"Welcome to Dumpsville, Population : You"
I would be disappointed too if he couldn’t stretch to a meal! Maybe he’s angling for a date at yours?! Again, bloody disappointing.Hi all
I hope you are all well?
I really need some advice! I went on a date with a guy I had been talking to forever on Friday, the date was ok, no butterflies, I’m not attracted to him but he’s crazy about me and wants a relationship so I thought he deserved a chance. I kissed him to see if a spark came but nothing.
We arranged our second date a nice meal and a moviefor Saturday and he has now said he can’t afford it (I get in the movie for free!!!) and can we do something else.
Im totally switched off now, he must be pretty broke and I want someone I can do fun things with that cost money. I don’t reallyeven fancy him. I want to let him down gently but don’t know how to word it. Any help is appreciated
I think honesty is the best policy. Say it was really nice to meet him after all the time chatting but, for you, there wasn’t a romantic spark. Emphasise some positive things about him and how you’ve enjoyed chatting, and you’re glad you met, but he deserves honesty and you would not want to mislead him. Do not be tempted to soften any blow with the offer of friendship, unless you absolutely want that and can cope with him possibly trying his luck again down the line, seeing as it sounds like he likes you. He may ask to be friends, so think about this beforehand. Keep it short and to the point. Remember, all you can control is yourself. If you’ve been polite and upfront, there’s no more you can or should do. I am sure he will accept it with good grace, and if he doesn’t, just block. His reaction is outside your control. Good luck
Or there’s always this
Sometimes people just enjoy the attention of having someone to talk to but they don’t want to follow it up when the time comes or someone else has popped into his life. There could be any number of reasons but don’t beat yourself up about it.
They all do it - message consistently then flake as the date approaches, either by (1) slow fading a few days before, (2) ghosting the day of or (3) coming up with some bull excuse as you’ve experienced. It’s bleeping weird but that is just what they do. There really is no explanation for it other than they wanted the ego boost of securing the date and perhaps the satisfaction of disappointing you so close to when it was suppposed to happen. The latter sounds psychotic but
I’ve found that if you ‘demote’ your date with them, e.g. tell them that you’ll be in town doing other things and they can meet you whenever they want, keeping it loosey goosey, they DO NOT like it (versus blocking out your entire Friday night for instance) as they don’t have the chance to let you down. Trust me, a rescheduled date will never happen. Get him in the bin
Just be honest and tell him that you don’t want to take it to a second date.Hi all
I hope you are all well?
I really need some advice! I went on a date with a guy I had been talking to forever on Friday, the date was ok, no butterflies, I’m not attracted to him but he’s crazy about me and wants a relationship so I thought he deserved a chance. I kissed him to see if a spark came but nothing.
We arranged our second date a nice meal and a moviefor Saturday and he has now said he can’t afford it (I get in the movie for free!!!) and can we do something else.
Im totally switched off now, he must be pretty broke and I want someone I can do fun things with that cost money. I don’t reallyeven fancy him. I want to let him down gently but don’t know how to word it. Any help is appreciated
Seconding this.
Bin him off. Doesn't matter what he said or why, you don't fancy him. That's itHi all
I hope you are all well?
I really need some advice! I went on a date with a guy I had been talking to forever on Friday, the date was ok, no butterflies, I’m not attracted to him but he’s crazy about me and wants a relationship so I thought he deserved a chance. I kissed him to see if a spark came but nothing.
We arranged our second date a nice meal and a moviefor Saturday and he has now said he can’t afford it (I get in the movie for free!!!) and can we do something else.
Im totally switched off now, he must be pretty broke and I want someone I can do fun things with that cost money. I don’t reallyeven fancy him. I want to let him down gently but don’t know how to word it. Any help is appreciated
Dust off the block button now, once a flake always a flakeSo a guy I ditched for being flaky has popped up with “are you ok?”… after 4 months
They always come crawling back when they realise they could’ve had something goodSo a guy I ditched for being flaky has popped up with “are you ok?”… after 4 months
I’d honestly love to dissect a males brain Would any off you approach guys IRL
There was a nice guy in the gym and we kept making eye contact but I didn't wanna approach him as 1 he working out and 2 I can't deal the rejection lol
He was working out on the boxing bah and we kept catching eyes then he disappeared.
As I went downstairs he was sat at the table alone and my sister like shall I get his number for you but I thought that comes across like High school behaviour so told her no
There was a nice guy in the gym and we kept making eye contact but I didn't wanna approach him as 1 he working out and 2 I can't deal the rejection lol
He was working out on the boxing bah and we kept catching eyes then he disappeared.
As I went downstairs he was sat at the table alone and my sister like shall I get his number for you but I thought that comes across like High school behaviour so told her no
So! Channing Tatum text me yesterday asking how I was feeling. I said ok, then said I totally forgot I was at CBeebies land with my daughter today and I can’t meet him cos I’ll be back late. Anyway, he text back saying “ok no worries” I feel like he expected me to drop what I was doing last Sunday to meet him, as he pushed in asking me twice when I told
Him the first time he asked I said I was out with my friends. Soz hun! I hope it’s bruised his ego
Him the first time he asked I said I was out with my friends. Soz hun! I hope it’s bruised his ego
Run for your life! It was nice meeting him…chalk it down to experience and next please! I went on a date with a guy who accidentally “confessed” to his house having burned down and he was living in his car on the site the house was built on. I found it such a turn off that he hadn’t a proper roof over his head. I put myself in his shoes and came to the conclusion that if I were living in my car I would be sorting out my living situation instead of putting energy into dating. Maybe he was hoping I’d rescue him?!Hi all
I hope you are all well?
I really need some advice! I went on a date with a guy I had been talking to forever on Friday, the date was ok, no butterflies, I’m not attracted to him but he’s crazy about me and wants a relationship so I thought he deserved a chance. I kissed him to see if a spark came but nothing.
We arranged our second date a nice meal and a moviefor Saturday and he has now said he can’t afford it (I get in the movie for free!!!) and can we do something else.
Im totally switched off now, he must be pretty broke and I want someone I can do fun things with that cost money. I don’t reallyeven fancy him. I want to let him down gently but don’t know how to word it. Any help is appreciated
I hate the pressure I feel under when a guy is crazy about me etc before I’ve had a chance to make up my mind. I feel that he has put a certain amount of pressure on you. Of course he wants a relationship with you…you’re fabulous and solvent. Run! Your gut instinct is right!
Oopsy I’ve edited as follows : you’ve sought help as to letting him down gently. Try this:
“Hey you, it was lovely to meet up after all our messaging back and forth. I’ve been thinking it’s only fair to share with you that there isn’t a “spark” from my end unfortunately so I won’t be taking things any further with you. Can I wish you the best with it all. Take care, Fabulous moi”.
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