Dating after lockdown #18 Show me your c*ck and I will block

[Bagpuss7]

Yeah I guess? I don’t think it’s deliberate on his part - he’s been quite clear from the outset and I thought I could handle it but now I’m in too deep. My own fault. I know there’s plenty of fish in the sea and I’d meet someone but at the moment I can’t imagine meeting anyone else I want to be with… I only ever fancy guys who are way out of my league so what I “deserve” I don’t usually want. Not sure how I get out of that conundrum.

I think the last thing you need to be thinking about right now is meeting someone else. There's a lot to be said for working on yourself, your self esteem and worth plus working out exactly what you want and need from a relationship so you don't continue to waste time on men that are on different pages.

Worst mistake we can make as women is ignoring what men say to us from the get go and imagining we can change them!

 

[it’s not been changed?!]

He’s had the same bio for as long as I’ve been using bumble which is probably 3 years now. So, when he says he just came back from France, how long ago was that?!

Also, it’s always a “new” profile, yet he still has the same bio word for word. He must have it saved in his notes and copy and paste it.

 

[Kimmylookatme]

Thanks everyone for being nice about my shite drivel writing on the topic of people living at home - I think don’t let it be off putting! It’s entirely circumstance dependant even though I totally get why it may induce the ick

 

[DollyDiamondxo]

I think the last thing you need to be thinking about right now is meeting someone else. There's a lot to be said for working on yourself, your self esteem and worth plus working out exactly what you want and need from a relationship so you don't continue to waste time on men that are on different pages.

Worst mistake we can make as women is ignoring what men say to us from the get go and imagining we can change them!

when

He’s had the same bio for as long as I’ve been using bumble which is probably 3 years now. So, when he says he just came back from France, how long ago was that?!

Also, it’s always a “new” profile, yet he still has the same bio word for word. He must have it saved in his notes and copy and paste it.

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oh I miss having a good laugh at some of the profiles lol he needs to make it known he’s been France jeeeez What’s with the last bit though about the wives lol. Deffo a copy n paste job. I reckon some of the sods copy n paste their crappy first message they send to every girl lol

 

[Mr Sparkle]

Good morning teeeam, positive update from me!

Last time I was seeking advice from you guys it was because we'd gone a week without making a date plan and I thought I was being faded 🥲

So we had a date on Wednesday which was lovely, went to a cute little theatre to watch a play. Then he invited me over for brunch on Saturday morning with his housemates. He organised it, I helped and then sat in the sunshine with them all, plus some of their friends who were also visiting, and we all spent the rest of the afternoon outside. It was so niceeeee!! but also a little intimidating to spend the day with a bunch of couples when we've only been on a handful of dates!

I had been a little worried because I hit it off the most with the housemate's visitors and hadn't spent much time chatting to his actual housemates which might've looked bad. But then he also invited me over for dinner with them yesterday evening, so I got to know them a bit more.

On typing this, it seems a little silly that I'd worry about whether I spent enough time chatting with them. We've only been seeing each other a month so my priority is carrying on getting to know him, rather than becoming buddies with all his friends anyway. It's just a bonus that there was someone in the group who was v outgoing and made me feel comfortable!

I'm reeeeeeally keen on this guy though. 🥲🥲

 

[unidentified]

@Mr Sparkle That is lovely lovely news! I’m so glad!

I think I have the ick on the guy I’ve been talking to. No idea why. He’s been away over the weekend so we didn’t speak much and I don’t know if that’s it but I just feel a bit meh. He’s asked me on a date on Saturday or Sunday. I won’t do the Sunday because it’s Mother’s Day but he can’t do the Saturday morning because his daughter has a presentation at 11:30 and mornings work best for me. He also lives 90mins away so that’s an added problem. I don’t think I’ll ever date

 

[Bagpuss7]

Good morning teeeam, positive update from me!

Last time I was seeking advice from you guys it was because we'd gone a week without making a date plan and I thought I was being faded 🥲

So we had a date on Wednesday which was lovely, went to a cute little theatre to watch a play. Then he invited me over for brunch on Saturday morning with his housemates. He organised it, I helped and then sat in the sunshine with them all, plus some of their friends who were also visiting, and we all spent the rest of the afternoon outside. It was so niceeeee!! but also a little intimidating to spend the day with a bunch of couples when we've only been on a handful of dates!

I had been a little worried because I hit it off the most with the housemate's visitors and hadn't spent much time chatting to his actual housemates which might've looked bad. But then he also invited me over for dinner with them yesterday evening, so I got to know them a bit more.

On typing this, it seems a little silly that I'd worry about whether I spent enough time chatting with them. We've only been seeing each other a month so my priority is carrying on getting to know him, rather than becoming buddies with all his friends anyway. It's just a bonus that there was someone in the group who was v outgoing and made me feel comfortable!

I'm reeeeeeally keen on this guy though. 🥲🥲

I'm not sure about you other ladies but its very important that my friends like my men and i listen to their advice because i trust they have my best interests at heart , so maybe subconsciously you were aware of this and that's why you are having some anxiety now ? Does sound like you got the friends seal of approval though because he's invited you to dinner

 

[Mr Sparkle]

I'm not sure about you other ladies but its very important that my friends like my men and i listen to their advice because i trust they have my best interests at heart , so maybe subconsciously you were aware of this and that's why you are having some anxiety now ? Does sound like you got the friends seal of approval though because he's invited you to dinner

Yeah I think that's it! His friends seem really important to him so I didn't like the thought of them being like, "Well Mr Sparkles hardly spoke to me all day" which on reflection is not what most people would think, esp as I did spend all day chatting and laughing with the general group!

Yeah dinner last night was just the six of us - the housemates are two couples. I do hope that invite meant that Saturday went well

 

[DollyDiamondxo]

@Mr Sparkle That is lovely lovely news! I’m so glad!

I think I have the ick on the guy I’ve been talking to. No idea why. He’s been away over the weekend so we didn’t speak much and I don’t know if that’s it but I just feel a bit meh. He’s asked me on a date on Saturday or Sunday. I won’t do the Sunday because it’s Mother’s Day but he can’t do the Saturday morning because his daughter has a presentation at 11:30 and mornings work best for me. He also lives 90mins away so that’s an added problem. I don’t think I’ll ever date

Not speaking to someone much always gives me the ick! I always wonder if I’m clingy or normal 90 mins not too long, maybe do the weekend after? I’m texting someone at the min but he’ll only text me once a day. I get he’s busy but ugh, has asked me on a date but I’m not going to get my hopes up about it until I’m actually sat opposite him the texts he does send are sweet though

Yeah I think that's it! His friends seem really important to him so I didn't like the thought of them being like, "Well Mr Sparkles hardly spoke to me all day" which on reflection is not what most people would think, esp as I did spend all day chatting and laughing with the general group!

Yeah dinner last night was just the six of us - the housemates are two couples. I do hope that invite meant that Saturday went well

Deffo sealed the deal meeting friends especially coupled up ones! That to me says he’s genuine. The fake ones don’t want you to meet friends or family as they don’t plan on sticking around. It sounds nice you’ve been included

 

[candyland_]

Once a day text? What’s that all about? Nobody is that busy.

 

[Kimmylookatme]

Once a day text? What’s that all about? Nobody is that busy.

yeah agree with this. Once a day would drive me mad!
I am a big texter anyway and a firm believer in it literally takes seconds to send a response and everybody’s got time in their day when they’re walking somewhere, even if it’s just up the bloody stairs and can fire off a reply, so I’m biased - but once a day seems a bit lazy of him haha

 

[millsymilsean]

Hi everyone! Still playing catch up here but hope everyone’s doing well. Delighted for you @Mr Sparkle, so nice to hear a positive dating story! Keep us updated!

In terms of my own love life, have been texting the guy I slept with but…I really like him and had such a great time with him but his texts are SO dry. I keep thinking he’s not interested but then he’ll pop up a few days later asking me how I am etc…confusing as hell. He’s just out of a relationship and we agreed we wouldn’t be anything serious but no plans to meet up or anything. I don’t know what I am to him. Friends I suppose…it’s weird. I’m just confused about the boundaries I guess!!

 

[unidentified]

Not speaking to someone much always gives me the ick! I always wonder if I’m clingy or normal 90 mins not too long, maybe do the weekend after? I’m texting someone at the min but he’ll only text me once a day. I get he’s busy but ugh, has asked me on a date but I’m not going to get my hopes up about it until I’m actually sat opposite him the texts he does send are sweet though


Deffo sealed the deal meeting friends especially coupled up ones! That to me says he’s genuine. The fake ones don’t want you to meet friends or family as they don’t plan on sticking around. It sounds nice you’ve been included

Once a day is mental! I couldn't cope with that. How do you ever have a conversation? I think I am a bit clingy and I know I'm not normal I also found his socials where he is wearing a pair of off white trousers and those glasses that turn to sunglasses with the sun

 

[ThreeSteaksPam]

@millsymilsean I think if he’s just out of a relationship and you’ve agreed this is nothing serious, I’d take that at face value and don’t have any expectations of him. Which is easier said than done I know.
I’d think of it as a “Nice if it happens again, but not the end of the world if it doesn’t” and put some more eggs into some more baskets so you’re not focussed solely on him.

 

[DollyDiamondxo]

Once a day text? What’s that all about? Nobody is that busy.

I know I’m thinking to not bother replying anymore I thought it was me being clingy but use agree with me! He works and at uni but still it takes two mins to send a text lol. Rather duck out now before anything develops.. he has asked me to go on a date on Saturday to an arcade thing with a bar. But duno how we will even arrange that on once a day texts lol

Once a day is mental! I couldn't cope with that. How do you ever have a conversation? I think I am a bit clingy and I know I'm not normal I also found his socials where he is wearing a pair of off white trousers and those glasses that turn to sunglasses with the sun

At first (a week ago when we first started texting) I thiugh it would pick up but it hasn’t lol. Think I’ll leave him on read when I get today’s text which I am still waiting for I prefer someone who texts me ‘good morning’ and ‘good night’ I’ve already been through the feeling of being unwanted been there done that I want a man who makes it known he wants me, or no one at all lol. It’s just such a long exhausting game dating lol thanks for confirming I’m not crazy guys

 

[millsymilsean]

@millsymilsean I think if he’s just out of a relationship and you’ve agreed this is nothing serious, I’d take that at face value and don’t have any expectations of him. Which is easier said than done I know.
I’d think of it as a “Nice if it happens again, but not the end of the world if it doesn’t” and put some more eggs into some more baskets so you’re not focussed solely on him.

Yeah honestly that’s what I’m doing! It’s more just baffling cause like dude, stop texting me then Every time I leave it, he texts again! But the texts are so boring! Like????!! Trying desperately to find some more baskets but you all know what the apps are like hahaha. Hard out here!

I know I’m thinking to not bother replying anymore I thought it was me being clingy but use agree with me! He works and at uni but still it takes two mins to send a text lol. Rather duck out now before anything develops.. he has asked me to go on a date on Saturday to an arcade thing with a bar. But duno how we will even arrange that on once a day texts lol


At first (a week ago when we first started texting) I thiugh it would pick up but it hasn’t lol. Think I’ll leave him on read when I get today’s text which I am still waiting for I prefer someone who texts me ‘good morning’ and ‘good night’ I’ve already been through the feeling of being unwanted been there done that I want a man who makes it known he wants me, or no one at all lol. It’s just such a long exhausting game dating lol thanks for confirming I’m not crazy guys

This would drive me mad too! I think texting communication is something that should be discussed when you start seeing someone. It’s actually such a headache trying to navigate everyone’s different styles and expectations!

 

[unidentified]

This is so many men

 

[DollyDiamondxo]

Yeah honestly that’s what I’m doing! It’s more just baffling cause like dude, stop texting me then Every time I leave it, he texts again! But the texts are so boring! Like????!! Trying desperately to find some more baskets but you all know what the apps are like hahaha. Hard out here!


This would drive me mad too! I think texting communication is something that should be discussed when you start seeing someone. It’s actually such a headache trying to navigate everyone’s different styles and expectations!

Literally! I’ve been ghosted that many times/or been the one whose shown more interest that I don’t give a tit anymore lol its second nature now The last guy I went on a few dates with was texting me frequently for a week then all of a sudden stopped so I knew something was wrong (I was right he just slowly ghosted me until I got fed up and blocked lol) but if their texting style is flaky from the get go I think we’ll maybe that’s how they are. But on a real who forgets to text someone their interested in lol

 

[UndrTheCosh]

I know I’m thinking to not bother replying anymore I thought it was me being clingy but use agree with me! He works and at uni but still it takes two mins to send a text lol. Rather duck out now before anything develops.. he has asked me to go on a date on Saturday to an arcade thing with a bar. But duno how we will even arrange that on once a day texts lol


At first (a week ago when we first started texting) I thiugh it would pick up but it hasn’t lol. Think I’ll leave him on read when I get today’s text which I am still waiting for I prefer someone who texts me ‘good morning’ and ‘good night’ I’ve already been through the feeling of being unwanted been there done that I want a man who makes it known he wants me, or no one at all lol. It’s just such a long exhausting game dating lol thanks for confirming I’m not crazy guys

Instead of ignoring him, just politely say you don’t think you are compatible and you can both move on…1. That’s the respectful thing to do and 2. He’ll most likely be in touch again otherwise

 

[DollyDiamondxo]

Instead of ignoring him, just politely say you don’t think you are compatible and you can both move on…1. That’s the respectful thing to do and 2. He’ll most likely be in touch again otherwise

I’ve done that before and just got back ‘it wasn’t that deep’ and tbh I don’t think it is if you’ve only exchanged a handful of messages with someone. Weeks of talking then yes explain and deffo after meeting in person if not that is crappy. That’s just my personal opinion though I respect not everyone would feel that lol