I agree with the once a day texts: absolutely pathetic. I experienced that when I was a bit younger - once I stopped messaging him first, it fizzled out and I forgot about him, until I got that dreaded post-three month message of 'hello trouble, how's it going?' (the unsexiest message in the world and a true sign of a f*ck boy). Also: it's a well-known fact that most people now come with a smartphone firmly attached to their hands - unless this man is the world's top brain surgeon or works for the CIA, one text a day is really shoddy form. We deserve a banquet; not crumbs! Good morning, good night texts and phone calls are all ways of building and maintaining intimacy - it surprises me how that gets overlooked and branded as 'clingy behaviour' when really it's a sign of someone caring and choosing you every day.
Girls, I've been in the opposing camp on this, but latest experience makes me think you were right - once again.
On one hand, personally I'm struggling with this expectation of an intense communication and constant connectivity throughout the day. The phone is a major source of focus destruction, and during the day I like to avoid it especially when working (also inspired by the 'Deep Work' book which I recommend).
The most important part in protecting my focus is to avoid the phone before noon to the extent possible. So good morning messages are really stressing me out, and I'm a grumpy cat in the morning anyway (think Garfield).
SO, I'm perfectly fine with once a day communication (even skipping a day), as long as the conversation is really good once it happens and we're seeing each other regularly.
That said, few people approach technology in this way, and when a guy is texting once a day at best it's probably not because of mindfulness but a lack of interest.
I've had fantastic two dates with this latest guy, with occasional texting in between. We kissed on the second one but not more than that, he wrote the next day, and then we didn't talk the day after that. I was the one to write first afterwards and he hasn't engaged in the conversation at all. I'm really sensing a sort of emotional unavailability and looking for something casual.
Still, I'll be totally fine with it since we haven't been intimate. I think that approach to dating works really well for me. Delay the sex and they'll show true colors very quickly. Sleeping with them right away just messes up my brain and I can't reason about it from a healthy distance.
I am disappointed though! I rarely like someone, but can't spend too much energy on it.
Believe what you see; not what could be (it's easy to fall in love with potential, which makes us so vulnerable).
This one really hits home, I'll write it down for myself
so easy to overlook their actual actions (or non-action) in favor of our imagination!
Sorry for the long post!
The other day I was on the bus with my friend, some men got on on one of the stops and started discussing how fantastic and gorgeous we were. They were not rude, pushy or drunk, but they were in their 50s! No chance really.
