Dating after lockdown #13 Halloween the ghost(er)s favourite season 🎃

[Clickbait]

So I decided to get Bumble a few months ago as I thought it might push me to make the first move but it didn’t work as I’m not on my phone very much so the matches kept running out of time. I decided to get Tinder back and this is one of the first guys that came up, I don’t know why I’m even bothering

Yuck I wonder if these profiles ever get any takers? Usually with no photo too. Just gross - a woman’s delight, being manhandled by Sir

 

[Falkor]

Yuck I wonder if these profiles ever get any takers? Usually with no photo too. Just gross - a woman’s delight, being manhandled by Sir

You'd be surprised. When I split up with my ex-husband, he promptly turned into a raging dominant and decided to rewrite his history to say he'd always been like that - I saw very little sign of it in the 9 years we were together other than him being an emotionally abusive arse. He died a couple of years ago, but at the time he was 54, dating a 24-year-old and this was his profile on FetLife where he met most of his partners after we split, and he certainly wasn't single for any length of time once he stopped bombarding me with 40+ texts a day saying he had crippling depression and it was all my fault for leaving him.

Spoiler: Behind a cut just in case this would be triggering for anyone

The best way to get a feel for who I am, other than meeting Me in real life at one of the Scene events around London (Such as the Croydon Munch) would be to read My forum posts here or elsewhere. You get a range of Me there. My thoughts on D/s, warped sense of humour, even how I am when butting heads with someone in a disagreement. For good or bad its all there. WYSIWYG.

I am a human being, I have flaws, I am not UberDom the superhero or a life support machine for a flogger. Don't build some 'image' of Me that you expect Me to live upto, if you choose to submit to Me you are submitting to the whole package, the person, the human being. Dominant certainly, but every bit HUMAN!

But to encapsulate it in a 'personal ad'?

First off: Dominant, straight, I don't switch

"When you trust enough in Me, in My approach and in My duty of care, THEN you submit. Once you submit, you are Mine in mind, body and soul. If you ever loose that trust, the one and only choice that remains entirely yours is to walk away.... but it is a one way door"

I am a lifestyler, I don't play at this. Dominant isn't a hat I put on at 'playtime', it is who I am, how I am wired. I tend towards the TPE end of things, more suited to owning a slave than simply being 'Dom' to a sub. The D/s dynamic and the 'relationship' is the important bit. BDSM 'play' is an often enjoyed extra, but not 'what I am about', it is just the icing on the cake. Likewise whilst I have somewhat an overactive libido, it isn't 'about' the sex either though in any relationship you can definitely expect there WILL be plenty of that.

I find the dynamic works better in general with an older Dom/younger sub so that is where I normally look. I generally don't look too closely at anyone older than about 10 or so years below My own age. I simply concentrate My efforts where I KNOW the greatest chance of finding what I seek is.

Likewise I am looking for that elusive long term committed relationship, but I am not adverse to meeting for play and if someone is particularly appealing maybe more than play, but again it isn't where I am focusing My attention. If that is what you are looking for, don't expect Me to be approaching you, you will have to make sure you let ME know the option is there to be considered. I have a particular fondness for flogging a good looking girl, so I will always be easiest to persuade for that.

I am NOT looking for a doormat. I am looking to collar a person. A girl who has thoughts, needs, wants and opinions of her own. Submission doesn't mean loosing those things, but choosing to give control to another.

Expressing those thoughts and opinions in an appropriate manner, communicating those needs and wants clearly so I have all the relevant information to base My decision on. Accepting, submitting to those decisions even when they are not what she would have decided for herself.

Honesty is paramount. Lies WILL result in dismissal. I expect truth from the start. You can't trust a liar and without trust there is no relationship worth having, D/s or otherwise. I am bluntly, some would say 'Brutally' honest. I expect the same from any girl looking to be collared by Me.

I am NOT looking for someone to move straight in with Me. Whilst I take on responsibility for a girl 24/7, I am not currently looking to share My living space on a permanent basis. If that comes it will be a result of a long term relationship where trust and training has been worked on for months or even years. As such I am particularly seeking in the London area/SE UK.

If you are going to write to Me, please, no one liners, they are not well received. If you are not willing to put in at least some effort to make a first impression then you are unlikely to put in effort in a relationship. Give Me some idea of who you are, what you are looking for and why you think we may have areas of compatibility.

SAY WHAT YOU MEAN AND MEAN WHAT YOU SAY!

 

[Clickbait]

You'd be surprised. When I split up with my ex-husband, he promptly turned into a raging dominant and decided to rewrite his history to say he'd always been like that - I saw very little sign of it in the 9 years we were together other than him being an emotionally abusive arse. He died a couple of years ago, but at the time he was 54, dating a 24-year-old and this was his profile on FetLife where he met most of his partners after we split, and he certainly wasn't single for any length of time once he stopped bombarding me with 40+ texts a day saying he had crippling depression and it was all my fault for leaving him.

Spoiler: Behind a cut just in case this would be triggering for anyone

The best way to get a feel for who I am, other than meeting Me in real life at one of the Scene events around London (Such as the Croydon Munch) would be to read My forum posts here or elsewhere. You get a range of Me there. My thoughts on D/s, warped sense of humour, even how I am when butting heads with someone in a disagreement. For good or bad its all there. WYSIWYG.

I am a human being, I have flaws, I am not UberDom the superhero or a life support machine for a flogger. Don't build some 'image' of Me that you expect Me to live upto, if you choose to submit to Me you are submitting to the whole package, the person, the human being. Dominant certainly, but every bit HUMAN!

But to encapsulate it in a 'personal ad'?

First off: Dominant, straight, I don't switch

"When you trust enough in Me, in My approach and in My duty of care, THEN you submit. Once you submit, you are Mine in mind, body and soul. If you ever loose that trust, the one and only choice that remains entirely yours is to walk away.... but it is a one way door"

I am a lifestyler, I don't play at this. Dominant isn't a hat I put on at 'playtime', it is who I am, how I am wired. I tend towards the TPE end of things, more suited to owning a slave than simply being 'Dom' to a sub. The D/s dynamic and the 'relationship' is the important bit. BDSM 'play' is an often enjoyed extra, but not 'what I am about', it is just the icing on the cake. Likewise whilst I have somewhat an overactive libido, it isn't 'about' the sex either though in any relationship you can definitely expect there WILL be plenty of that.

I find the dynamic works better in general with an older Dom/younger sub so that is where I normally look. I generally don't look too closely at anyone older than about 10 or so years below My own age. I simply concentrate My efforts where I KNOW the greatest chance of finding what I seek is.

Likewise I am looking for that elusive long term committed relationship, but I am not adverse to meeting for play and if someone is particularly appealing maybe more than play, but again it isn't where I am focusing My attention. If that is what you are looking for, don't expect Me to be approaching you, you will have to make sure you let ME know the option is there to be considered. I have a particular fondness for flogging a good looking girl, so I will always be easiest to persuade for that.

I am NOT looking for a doormat. I am looking to collar a person. A girl who has thoughts, needs, wants and opinions of her own. Submission doesn't mean loosing those things, but choosing to give control to another.

Expressing those thoughts and opinions in an appropriate manner, communicating those needs and wants clearly so I have all the relevant information to base My decision on. Accepting, submitting to those decisions even when they are not what she would have decided for herself.

Honesty is paramount. Lies WILL result in dismissal. I expect truth from the start. You can't trust a liar and without trust there is no relationship worth having, D/s or otherwise. I am bluntly, some would say 'Brutally' honest. I expect the same from any girl looking to be collared by Me.

I am NOT looking for someone to move straight in with Me. Whilst I take on responsibility for a girl 24/7, I am not currently looking to share My living space on a permanent basis. If that comes it will be a result of a long term relationship where trust and training has been worked on for months or even years. As such I am particularly seeking in the London area/SE UK.

If you are going to write to Me, please, no one liners, they are not well received. If you are not willing to put in at least some effort to make a first impression then you are unlikely to put in effort in a relationship. Give Me some idea of who you are, what you are looking for and why you think we may have areas of compatibility.

SAY WHAT YOU MEAN AND MEAN WHAT YOU SAY!

I would imagine that kind of stuff to be quite niche but perhaps it’s more popular than I thought. What’s with the capitalisation of me and my? Did he have a God complex?

That must have been really strange for you to witness albeit not directly. I had an ex bf who tried to rewrite our relationship who also fell to pieces after we split up. Perhaps it’s part of rebuilding their fragile ego?

 

[Falkor]

I would imagine that kind of stuff to be quite niche but perhaps it’s more popular than I thought. What’s with the capitalisation of me and my? Did he have a God complex?

That must have been really strange for you to witness albeit not directly. I had an ex bf who tried to rewrite our relationship who also fell to pieces after we split up. Perhaps it’s part of rebuilding their fragile ego?

The capitalisation was all part of the master/slave thing I think. Did make me laugh when he started doing it in emails copied into the lawyers handling the divorce. His girlfriends all used to capitalise he/him when they were talking about him online as well.

I think in his case he did it because I absolutely blindsided him when I said things weren't working for me and I wanted a divorce - in hindsight he had major narcissistic tendencies and he couldn't believe that I'd had the temerity to dump him, so he rewrote history to make it seem like he was in control the whole time. It's why my divorce took over two years from start to finish and cost me over £10k in legal fees.

Which is all very depressing for a dating thread, so I shall balance it out by saying I've been married to a wonderful guy for just over 10 years now - there definitely are some good ones out there

 

[NoseyNiamh]

You'd be surprised. When I split up with my ex-husband, he promptly turned into a raging dominant and decided to rewrite his history to say he'd always been like that - I saw very little sign of it in the 9 years we were together other than him being an emotionally abusive arse. He died a couple of years ago, but at the time he was 54, dating a 24-year-old and this was his profile on FetLife where he met most of his partners after we split, and he certainly wasn't single for any length of time once he stopped bombarding me with 40+ texts a day saying he had crippling depression and it was all my fault for leaving him.

Spoiler: Behind a cut just in case this would be triggering for anyone

The best way to get a feel for who I am, other than meeting Me in real life at one of the Scene events around London (Such as the Croydon Munch) would be to read My forum posts here or elsewhere. You get a range of Me there. My thoughts on D/s, warped sense of humour, even how I am when butting heads with someone in a disagreement. For good or bad its all there. WYSIWYG.

I am a human being, I have flaws, I am not UberDom the superhero or a life support machine for a flogger. Don't build some 'image' of Me that you expect Me to live upto, if you choose to submit to Me you are submitting to the whole package, the person, the human being. Dominant certainly, but every bit HUMAN!

But to encapsulate it in a 'personal ad'?

First off: Dominant, straight, I don't switch

"When you trust enough in Me, in My approach and in My duty of care, THEN you submit. Once you submit, you are Mine in mind, body and soul. If you ever loose that trust, the one and only choice that remains entirely yours is to walk away.... but it is a one way door"

I am a lifestyler, I don't play at this. Dominant isn't a hat I put on at 'playtime', it is who I am, how I am wired. I tend towards the TPE end of things, more suited to owning a slave than simply being 'Dom' to a sub. The D/s dynamic and the 'relationship' is the important bit. BDSM 'play' is an often enjoyed extra, but not 'what I am about', it is just the icing on the cake. Likewise whilst I have somewhat an overactive libido, it isn't 'about' the sex either though in any relationship you can definitely expect there WILL be plenty of that.

I find the dynamic works better in general with an older Dom/younger sub so that is where I normally look. I generally don't look too closely at anyone older than about 10 or so years below My own age. I simply concentrate My efforts where I KNOW the greatest chance of finding what I seek is.

Likewise I am looking for that elusive long term committed relationship, but I am not adverse to meeting for play and if someone is particularly appealing maybe more than play, but again it isn't where I am focusing My attention. If that is what you are looking for, don't expect Me to be approaching you, you will have to make sure you let ME know the option is there to be considered. I have a particular fondness for flogging a good looking girl, so I will always be easiest to persuade for that.

I am NOT looking for a doormat. I am looking to collar a person. A girl who has thoughts, needs, wants and opinions of her own. Submission doesn't mean loosing those things, but choosing to give control to another.

Expressing those thoughts and opinions in an appropriate manner, communicating those needs and wants clearly so I have all the relevant information to base My decision on. Accepting, submitting to those decisions even when they are not what she would have decided for herself.

Honesty is paramount. Lies WILL result in dismissal. I expect truth from the start. You can't trust a liar and without trust there is no relationship worth having, D/s or otherwise. I am bluntly, some would say 'Brutally' honest. I expect the same from any girl looking to be collared by Me.

I am NOT looking for someone to move straight in with Me. Whilst I take on responsibility for a girl 24/7, I am not currently looking to share My living space on a permanent basis. If that comes it will be a result of a long term relationship where trust and training has been worked on for months or even years. As such I am particularly seeking in the London area/SE UK.

If you are going to write to Me, please, no one liners, they are not well received. If you are not willing to put in at least some effort to make a first impression then you are unlikely to put in effort in a relationship. Give Me some idea of who you are, what you are looking for and why you think we may have areas of compatibility.

SAY WHAT YOU MEAN AND MEAN WHAT YOU SAY!

I don't kink shame anyone that is honest about what they are looking for. It sounds like anyone that was with him knew exactly what their purpose was.

 

[Falkor]

I don't kink shame anyone that is honest about what they are looking for. It sounds like anyone that was with him knew exactly what their purpose was.

Agreed, it was just a surprise to find what I thought was a normal but slightly controlling nine-year relationship turned into 'just come out of a decade-long Master/slave lifestyle relationship' on various online forums.

 

[Sheabutter]

Agreed, it was just a surprise to find what I thought was a normal but slightly controlling nine-year relationship turned into 'just come out of a decade-long Master/slave lifestyle relationship' on various online forums.

I think he lied on his CV There is very little on his profile that makes me think about sex and kink. I feel like I just read the world’s most boring homework assignment on how to become an expert on Him.

It sounds like he was trying to continue the game of being an “emotionally abusive arse,” otherwise he would have no problem going for women who were closer in age. A lot of times men will start to go for much younger women because the women are inexperienced and will not hold the man to any standard of normal behavior.

The D/s dynamic and the 'relationship' is the important bit. BDSM 'play' is an often enjoyed extra, but not 'what I am about', it is just the icing on the cake.

There we go. He spells it out. Sex is not the point of his profile.

 

[nothanksbabes]

You'd be surprised. When I split up with my ex-husband, he promptly turned into a raging dominant and decided to rewrite his history to say he'd always been like that - I saw very little sign of it in the 9 years we were together other than him being an emotionally abusive arse. He died a couple of years ago, but at the time he was 54, dating a 24-year-old and this was his profile on FetLife where he met most of his partners after we split, and he certainly wasn't single for any length of time once he stopped bombarding me with 40+ texts a day saying he had crippling depression and it was all my fault for leaving him.

Spoiler: Behind a cut just in case this would be triggering for anyone

The best way to get a feel for who I am, other than meeting Me in real life at one of the Scene events around London (Such as the Croydon Munch) would be to read My forum posts here or elsewhere. You get a range of Me there. My thoughts on D/s, warped sense of humour, even how I am when butting heads with someone in a disagreement. For good or bad its all there. WYSIWYG.

I am a human being, I have flaws, I am not UberDom the superhero or a life support machine for a flogger. Don't build some 'image' of Me that you expect Me to live upto, if you choose to submit to Me you are submitting to the whole package, the person, the human being. Dominant certainly, but every bit HUMAN!

But to encapsulate it in a 'personal ad'?

First off: Dominant, straight, I don't switch

"When you trust enough in Me, in My approach and in My duty of care, THEN you submit. Once you submit, you are Mine in mind, body and soul. If you ever loose that trust, the one and only choice that remains entirely yours is to walk away.... but it is a one way door"

I am a lifestyler, I don't play at this. Dominant isn't a hat I put on at 'playtime', it is who I am, how I am wired. I tend towards the TPE end of things, more suited to owning a slave than simply being 'Dom' to a sub. The D/s dynamic and the 'relationship' is the important bit. BDSM 'play' is an often enjoyed extra, but not 'what I am about', it is just the icing on the cake. Likewise whilst I have somewhat an overactive libido, it isn't 'about' the sex either though in any relationship you can definitely expect there WILL be plenty of that.

I find the dynamic works better in general with an older Dom/younger sub so that is where I normally look. I generally don't look too closely at anyone older than about 10 or so years below My own age. I simply concentrate My efforts where I KNOW the greatest chance of finding what I seek is.

Likewise I am looking for that elusive long term committed relationship, but I am not adverse to meeting for play and if someone is particularly appealing maybe more than play, but again it isn't where I am focusing My attention. If that is what you are looking for, don't expect Me to be approaching you, you will have to make sure you let ME know the option is there to be considered. I have a particular fondness for flogging a good looking girl, so I will always be easiest to persuade for that.

I am NOT looking for a doormat. I am looking to collar a person. A girl who has thoughts, needs, wants and opinions of her own. Submission doesn't mean loosing those things, but choosing to give control to another.

Expressing those thoughts and opinions in an appropriate manner, communicating those needs and wants clearly so I have all the relevant information to base My decision on. Accepting, submitting to those decisions even when they are not what she would have decided for herself.

Honesty is paramount. Lies WILL result in dismissal. I expect truth from the start. You can't trust a liar and without trust there is no relationship worth having, D/s or otherwise. I am bluntly, some would say 'Brutally' honest. I expect the same from any girl looking to be collared by Me.

I am NOT looking for someone to move straight in with Me. Whilst I take on responsibility for a girl 24/7, I am not currently looking to share My living space on a permanent basis. If that comes it will be a result of a long term relationship where trust and training has been worked on for months or even years. As such I am particularly seeking in the London area/SE UK.

If you are going to write to Me, please, no one liners, they are not well received. If you are not willing to put in at least some effort to make a first impression then you are unlikely to put in effort in a relationship. Give Me some idea of who you are, what you are looking for and why you think we may have areas of compatibility.

SAY WHAT YOU MEAN AND MEAN WHAT YOU SAY!

He definitely wasn't going after women over 10 years younger than him to take advantage of their potential inexperience, oh no.

What a load of narcissistic waffle. I also find the men most keen to advertise how "dom" they are are the ones who either couldn't cominate their way out of a paper bag, or have failed at everything else in life that dominating women sexually is the only way they can feel powerful.

 

[Captainmouse]

 

[Pixipoppy]

Ok so guy I went on a date with still hasn’t messaged me. It’s Thursday now and it’s obvious if he had any intention of doing something this weekend he would have asked by now. I need to be realistic. I just hate the rejection haha especially as this is very obviously a case of him liking me and then meeting up and changing his mind! I’m talking to a few nice guys on the apps who are much more keen to meet so I’m going to focus on that and not stupid boy from last weekend.

 

[Clickbait]

Ok so guy I went on a date with still hasn’t messaged me. It’s Thursday now and it’s obvious if he had any intention of doing something this weekend he would have asked by now. I need to be realistic. I just hate the rejection haha especially as this is very obviously a case of him liking me and then meeting up and changing his mind! I’m talking to a few nice guys on the apps who are much more keen to meet so I’m going to focus on that and not stupid boy from last weekend.

He took ages to text the last time and you still met up with him so he hasn’t learned there are any consequences to zero effort or engagement outside of face-to-face contact

 

[Pixipoppy]

He took ages to text the last time and you still met up with him so he hasn’t learned there are any consequences to zero effort or engagement outside of face-to-face contact

No you’re right, and honestly even if he texted me today and asked to meet up I would I have no self control! I just really fancy him physically. I think once I start meeting more people I’ll stop putting all my focus on one person.

 

[Spookyexcalibur]

Hi everyone, coming out of lurking to post this profile that made me chuckle and think of this thread:

Best of luck to all of you, I’m very invested in all your stories!

 

[Gym&Tonic]

So I decided to try and dip my toe into the world of online dating, Tinder is foul and doesn’t work for me at all, so it tried Bumble instead. I began messaging one guy, seems nice enough and we have a lot in common, but he asked to me within about half an hour of messaging him. I managed to put that off because it was way too soon for me. I decided to carry on chatting though which is fine but I’m not kidding this guy wants to be in contact with me 24/7. The texts are constant and though he doesn’t get funny when I don’t reply straight away when I do get around to answering him he replies almost immediately and they are really long paragraph like answers. I know his life story already in fact and we’ve been talking for about a week. I honestly don’t even talk to my family and friends that frequently. It’s all bit too much for me. I find it odd and needy, but then I’m so useless and inexperienced at this kind of thing that I don’t know if it’s normal or not? Without sounding mean he doesn’t appear to have a lot else going on in his life. He does have a son, but he even texted me over the weekend frequently when apparently looking after him. Surely his focus should be on his child when he’s with him, not some woman he’s never actually met?

Anyway am I being a cow? I can’t decide. Like I say I don’t know what’s normal or not. Any advice greatly appreciated.

 

[Thank(space)you]

No you’re right, and honestly even if he texted me today and asked to meet up I would I have no self control! I just really fancy him physically. I think once I start meeting more people I’ll stop putting all my focus on one person.

Level up girl, value yourself and your time more. You're not a last minute booty call. This man is learning he doesn't need to respect you/your time. Lay the boundaries now for what is not acceptable. If he gets scared and runs off, he is not the person for you. And he would run off at some point anyway.

So I decided to try and dip my toe into the world of online dating, Tinder is foul and doesn’t work for me at all, so it tried Bumble instead. I began messaging one guy, seems nice enough and we have a lot in common, but he asked to me within about half an hour of messaging him. I managed to put that off because it was way too soon for me. I decided to carry on chatting though which is fine but I’m not kidding this guy wants to be in contact with me 24/7. The texts are constant and though he doesn’t get funny when I don’t reply straight away when I do get around to answering him he replies almost immediately and they are really long paragraph like answers. I know his life story already in fact and we’ve been talking for about a week. I honestly don’t even talk to my family and friends that frequently. It’s all bit too much for me. I find it odd and needy, but then I’m so useless and inexperienced at this kind of thing that I don’t know if it’s normal or not? Without sounding mean he doesn’t appear to have a lot else going on in his life. He does have a son, but he even texted me over the weekend frequently when apparently looking after him. Surely his focus should be on his child when he’s with him, not some woman he’s never actually met?

Anyway am I being a cow? I can’t decide. Like I say I don’t know what’s normal or not. Any advice greatly appreciated.

I personally like a lot of texting and attention, but every person is different. If he's too much for you, then you need to let him know that this communication style isn't what you're comfortable with

 

[Pixipoppy]

Level up girl, value yourself and your time more. You're not a last minute booty call. This man is learning he doesn't need to respect you/your time. Lay the boundaries now for what is not acceptable. If he gets scared and runs off, he is not the person for you. And he would run off at some point anyway.


I personally like a lot of texting and attention, but every person is different. If he's too much for you, then you need to let him know that this communication style isn't what you're comfortable with

I know, I’m just clinging on because I’ll never get someone as attractive as him again But I’m sure he can smell the desperation a mile off so I’m doing myself no favours!

 

[Boadicea1]

I know, I’m just clinging on because I’ll never get someone as attractive as him again But I’m sure he can smell the desperation a mile off so I’m doing myself no favours!

Please don't cave in.

I have been in exactly the same boat as you and I am still hurting. But do you know what, I want a man who leaves me feeling good about myself and I know wants me. Not a man that wants me to beg for his time and affection and leaves me insecure all the bloody time.

Those men have deeper issues than we do, I think.

Take care.

So I decided to try and dip my toe into the world of online dating, Tinder is foul and doesn’t work for me at all, so it tried Bumble instead. I began messaging one guy, seems nice enough and we have a lot in common, but he asked to me within about half an hour of messaging him. I managed to put that off because it was way too soon for me. I decided to carry on chatting though which is fine but I’m not kidding this guy wants to be in contact with me 24/7. The texts are constant and though he doesn’t get funny when I don’t reply straight away when I do get around to answering him he replies almost immediately and they are really long paragraph like answers. I know his life story already in fact and we’ve been talking for about a week. I honestly don’t even talk to my family and friends that frequently. It’s all bit too much for me. I find it odd and needy, but then I’m so useless and inexperienced at this kind of thing that I don’t know if it’s normal or not? Without sounding mean he doesn’t appear to have a lot else going on in his life. He does have a son, but he even texted me over the weekend frequently when apparently looking after him. Surely his focus should be on his child when he’s with him, not some woman he’s never actually met?

Anyway am I being a cow? I can’t decide. Like I say I don’t know what’s normal or not. Any advice greatly appreciated.

Personally when I am interested in somebody I am quite the same. I crave conversation at the moment.

But if isn't for you then you need to do something about it.

 

[Clickbait]

So I decided to try and dip my toe into the world of online dating, Tinder is foul and doesn’t work for me at all, so it tried Bumble instead. I began messaging one guy, seems nice enough and we have a lot in common, but he asked to me within about half an hour of messaging him. I managed to put that off because it was way too soon for me. I decided to carry on chatting though which is fine but I’m not kidding this guy wants to be in contact with me 24/7. The texts are constant and though he doesn’t get funny when I don’t reply straight away when I do get around to answering him he replies almost immediately and they are really long paragraph like answers. I know his life story already in fact and we’ve been talking for about a week. I honestly don’t even talk to my family and friends that frequently. It’s all bit too much for me. I find it odd and needy, but then I’m so useless and inexperienced at this kind of thing that I don’t know if it’s normal or not? Without sounding mean he doesn’t appear to have a lot else going on in his life. He does have a son, but he even texted me over the weekend frequently when apparently looking after him. Surely his focus should be on his child when he’s with him, not some woman he’s never actually met?

Anyway am I being a cow? I can’t decide. Like I say I don’t know what’s normal or not. Any advice greatly appreciated.

You’ll find, frustratingly, it is often very much one way or the other with contact from men on dating apps/sites.

Firstly, you are not being a cow for saying that his constant contact is overwhelming and off putting. It is entirely ok to have a preference for what you feel comfortable with. To go from not knowing this man at all to feeling almost hounded by him 24/7 would be a lot for most people!

From my past experience the ones who were super keen to meet right off the back were far less interested in doing the texting/chatting/getting to know each other before meeting up - these are the type who say they “don’t want a pen pal”. The fact he is willing to chat rather than blowing you off is a relatively good sign.

Then the super-texters were either love bombers or men who didn’t seem to get many matches so were a bit over enthusiastic about talking to a real life woman. Sometimes the latter would make comments about how lucky they were and also be quite self-derogatory which was uncomfortable and a big turn off.

If you think you might want to meet him I’d try and say something to make him aware he’s being a bit much and he needs to calm down. If you’re unsure you could suggest a phone call or FaceTime to see what vibe you get from that.

 

[boomska]

Sorry tattlers, unsure where to post this & you guys were so helpful when I was heartbroken about my ex!
But I never blocked my ex on Instagram and I just noticed that he viewed my story tonight I went radio silent after he told me he had a girlfriend affer 1 month NC after I dumped him because he didn’t want a relationship!!

arghhhh I’m soconfused but happy! I know I shouldn’t be but I am!

 

[whathastheworldcometo]

Sorry tattlers, unsure where to post this & you guys were so helpful when I was heartbroken about my ex!
But I never blocked my ex on Instagram and I just noticed that he viewed my story tonight I went radio silent after he told me he had a girlfriend affer 1 month NC after I dumped him because he didn’t want a relationship!!

arghhhh I’m soconfused but happy! I know I shouldn’t be but I am!

It sounds like you are not over him yet.