Dating after lockdown #13 Halloween the ghost(er)s favourite season 🎃

[lurkingaround123]

I’d have lost interest in that about 3 weeks ago It’s hard to keep up momentum with day to day small talk if it’s not leading to something, it just gets tedious.

I need to meet someone face to face to actually form any kind of feeling towards them, otherwise I genuinely stop caring, probably sounds so sly but most men age 25-35 seem to be quite boring apart from going out with their mates at the weekend, and I find it awkward answering loads of questions about all the random stuff i do over message like some weird interview.

Why not just ask him if he’s planning to ask you out on a date or if he’s just looking for someone to talk to. If it’s the latter politely explain that it’s not something you want to continue, all the best, perhaps update your Tinder profile to mention you’re looking for virtual friends etc.

Wish I thought of this before I fizzled the conversation down to nothing really awkwardly I just find the confidence of a man asking you out really attractive, I'm just thinking to myself how silly it probably sounds because I can't control how people are, but I suppose I can rule them out as not for me

 

[ThreeSteaksPam]

It’s not sly at all, I completely understand. Plus you need to know if you actually fancy them and you won’t know that before meeting. There’s only so much you can tell from pictures and messages. Based on my recent conversations and other experiences in the past, I’d want a date to have at least been suggested no longer than a week after talking. Preferably less.

 

[Clickbait]

Wish I thought of this before I fizzled the conversation down to nothing really awkwardly I just find the confidence of a man asking you out really attractive, I'm just thinking to myself how silly it probably sounds because I can't control how people are, but I suppose I can rule them out as not for me

I think maybe I’m just quite blunt about it. I didn’t mind a bit of chit chat before the build up to making plans but if the chat is just dull activities and a few social niceties it would bore me and put me off.

I’d had about 3 dates with someone who started texting me every day telling me what he’d had for dinner and that he needed to wash his shirts. I just said his chat was dry AF and he’d need to improve it or not to bother getting back in touch.

That may seem a bit harsh but we’d had sexual contact by this point and his interest in arranging another date didn’t seem to be there but he had time to tell me about household chores! I didn’t know if I was getting the slow fade (even though he texted daily) or if he was trying to bore me into ending it. He never replied to that message and I wasn’t bothered

If there is something you find interesting about this man then it’s worth giving him a gentle nudge. If he’s already lost you then just end it.

*Of course he was in touch again when he was drunk or when he had the hangover horn saying he’d been dreaming about me, that he’d been thinking about me often, he’d made a mistake etc. I’m sure he’s still haunting Tinder and the like.

 

[lurkingaround123]

I think maybe I’m just quite blunt about it. I didn’t mind a bit of chit chat before the build up to making plans but if the chat is just dull activities and a few social niceties it would bore me and put me off.

I’d had about 3 dates with someone who started texting me every day telling me what he’d had for dinner and that he needed to wash his shirts. I just said his chat was dry AF and he’d need to improve it or not to bother getting back in touch.

That may seem a bit harsh but we’d had sexual contact by this point and his interest in arranging another date didn’t seem to be there but he had time to tell me about household chores! I didn’t know if I was getting the slow fade (even though he texted daily) or if he was trying to bore me into ending it. He never replied to that message and I wasn’t bothered

If there is something you find interesting about this man then it’s worth giving him a gentle nudge. If he’s already lost you then just end it.

*Of course he was in touch again when he was drunk or when he had the hangover horn saying he’d been dreaming about me, that he’d been thinking about me often, he’d made a mistake etc. I’m sure he’s still haunting Tinder and the like.

He's lost my interest, like you say maybe I have lost his too and he's doing the most extended slow fade ever but
I completely agree! I know so many men's whole post work routine and that they're feeling fine but why?
And on the apps the only things people say are: How are you? Where are you from? What do you work as? Do you like your job? Where's the best place you've travelled to?

How can so many people be so dry

I hate the comeback texts. This one I got recently made me laugh because based on the previous response, and the fact I ended things with him to start with would you even bother?

 

[Clickbait]

He's lost my interest, like you say maybe I have lost his too and he's doing the most extended slow fade ever but
I completely agree! I know so many men's whole post work routine and that they're feeling fine but why?
And on the apps the only things people say are: How are you? Where are you from? What do you work as? Do you like your job? Where's the best place you've travelled to?

How can so many people be so dry

I hate the comeback texts. This one I got recently made me laugh because based on the previous response, and the fact I ended things with him to start with would you even bother? View attachment 842956

Honestly - they put such meagre efforts in and then expect us to be remotely bothered or interested by their mere existence.

I mentioned in the previous thread a guy who I’d had 2 dates with several years ago who had sporadically got back in touch over the years sent me a LinkedIn request. He started messaging me today telling me he wants to get into the organisation I work for (it’s a massive employer) which is why he added me. Unsure what just adding me would do to help him get a job

He doesn’t appear to have changed his job at all in all that time and it was quite junior for his age years ago. I asked him what he was looking to do and he said something which my organisation doesn’t generally do as a rule as in we don’t lead on so I said I didn’t have contacts any longer in that area and he’d be better off going to X or Y. Then he said ‘yeah, I know that, I’ve got it worked out, you take care’ like I’d somehow been the one who’d started the conversation. So they’re not only reappearing but they’re also being annoying with it!

 

[ATV2021]

Honestly - they put such meagre efforts in and then expect us to be remotely bothered or interested by their mere existence.

I mentioned in the previous thread a guy who I’d had 2 dates with several years ago who had sporadically got back in touch over the years sent me a LinkedIn request. He started messaging me today telling me he wants to get into the organisation I work for (it’s a massive employer) which is why he added me. Unsure what just adding me would do to help him get a job

He doesn’t appear to have changed his job at all in all that time and it was quite junior for his age years ago. I asked him what he was looking to do and he said something which my organisation doesn’t generally do as a rule as in we don’t lead on so I said I didn’t have contacts any longer in that area and he’d be better off going to X or Y. Then he said ‘yeah, I know that, I’ve got it worked out, you take care’ like I’d somehow been the one who’d started the conversation. So they’re not only reappearing but they’re also being annoying with it!

I know that guy who mentioned a date this week hasn't said sweet FA since so I'll be conveniently busy if he mentions again BUT I didn't even wanna go so suits me absolutely fine. Currently in London and I've taken myself for dinner in China Town. I have NEVER gone for actual dinner by myself before so this is huge

 

[Clickbait]

I know that guy who mentioned a date this week hasn't said sweet FA since so I'll be conveniently busy if he mentions again BUT I didn't even wanna go so suits me absolutely fine. Currently in London and I've taken myself for dinner in China Town. I have NEVER gone for actual dinner by myself before so this is huge

It’s quite a liberating experience! I can recommend Imperial China if you’ve not chosen a place to eat - quite a chilled out vibe in there.

 

[ATV2021]

It’s quite a liberating experience! I can recommend Imperial China if you’ve not chosen a place to eat - quite a chilled out vibe in there.

Ah I always go to the same one think it's just called the China town restaurant

 

[ATV2021]

@Thank(space)you did you join tonight's live? I again am on replay but I hope I can make the live tomorrow!

 

[newtoyou]

I’m bad with remembering peoples usernames but I wonder what happened with the poster who was late for her date and he got really annoyed and they fell out. She said she’d give him space for a while IIRC, but I’d love an update!

 

[Thank(space)you]

@Thank(space)you did you join tonight's live? I again am on replay but I hope I can make the live tomorrow!

I did indeed, very excited for tomorrow's. Didn't get as much out of today's as I did yesterday but I'm still committed

I’m bad with remembering peoples usernames but I wonder what happened with the poster who was late for her date and he got really annoyed and they fell out. She said she’d give him space for a while IIRC, but I’d love an update!

Oooh yeah, I remember that...

 

[radoxdetox]

Today, I came across a post from my crush on some social media. I hadn't seen his face in two years (since we worked together in 2019 pre-lockdown).

Two years ago: he looked like an Australian surfer: blonde hair, defined features, tan, smooth skin. He looked much younger than his age (I thought he was an intern the first time I saw him). Although I found him extremely attractive, he looked like a true f-boi despite his serious demeanor at work.

Today: he had dark brown hair, a lot of wrinkles, a much puffier face and a mustache (Movember)! He looks like he suddenly gained 5 years in two.

He went from looking like a "pretty boy" with a zillion Tinder conquests to "Mr. average" of age to have children and a house in the country. I don't know if it's his version of the "lockdown glow up", but he looks mature. It's quite odd, I always thought his blonde hair and surfer like appearance was the only reason for me finding him attractive and crushing on him, but seeing this picture today made me fancy him even more (even though today's version of him wouldn't be my type at all). He looks much more approachable and a lot less intimidating. Lockdown has definitely changed some men (physically, at least). He's fundraising money for a charity, maybe I'll donate a penny or two (probably not, don't want to come across as a creep).

You just reminded me of a time I went on a date with a guy who was recently divorced, wore Gucci trainers, had already had a hair transplant but was about to have another. We didn’t click at all but he was still on my IG, he then went onto sell his house, move to Aus, made various misogynistic comments about women on Instagram (including taking a photo of someone on a train) and has now come back to the UK now. If he comes up I will post a pic on here with face covered you can all avoid.

 

[ATV2021]

I did indeed, very excited for tomorrow's. Didn't get as much out of today's as I did yesterday but I'm still committed


Oooh yeah, I remember that...

Yeah these programmes will have parts that resonate and parts that don't. I've signed up for the Monday bootcamp too! The other one I did which I did sign up for her academy (PS there will 100% be a sales pitch to join their plan or similar but there's 0 pressure) I was focused on love and manifesting but it's switched completely where now I'm like actually nah I'm happy working on me. I love goddess hour mind! I'll be doing that for sure

 

[TheGlossy]

You just reminded me of a time I went on a date with a guy who was recently divorced, wore Gucci trainers, had already had a hair transplant but was about to have another. We didn’t click at all but he was still on my IG, he then went onto sell his house, move to Aus, made various misogynistic comments about women on Instagram (including taking a photo of someone on a train) and has now come back to the UK now. If he comes up I will post a pic on here with face covered you can all avoid.

Please do! This guy sure sounds like a catch

I can't get past the Gucci trainers and the hair transplant. Hilarious.

 

[ATV2021]

Because of the things I've liked on Instagram I get the same ads of inspirational quotes etc etc. Anyway one came up from a "dating coach" called Benjamin Daly and I cannot imagine why he's so poplar.....

 

[PiesAndLattes]

I hadn’t been on Hinge for a while (and yes I said / am going to take a break!) but I went on and had about 30 likes so went through them and this guy was actually quite nice but jeez I hate a follow up… it makes me feel ick. That’s me signing out of Hinge/Bumble for a good while!

 

[ATV2021]

I hadn’t been on Hinge for a while (and yes I said / am going to take a break!) but I went on and had about 30 likes so went through them and this guy was actually quite nice but jeez I hate a follow up… it makes me feel ick. That’s me signing out of Hinge/Bumble for a good while!

View attachment 843808

Yeah I'm just so not feeling it at all. I read things like oh go on the date you don't know what they're like and I'm like....but my intuition says no so....no I don't even know why I have Hinge & Bumble on my phone tbh just hogging space lol

 

[PiesAndLattes]

Yeah I'm just so not feeling it at all. I read things like oh go on the date you don't know what they're like and I'm like....but my intuition says no so....no I don't even know why I have Hinge & Bumble on my phone tbh just hogging space lol

Haha exactly it! I’m deleting the apps off my phone but keeping my account. They will be there when I get back, I have a lovely holiday to enjoy first.

Edit for his further response… maybe you did ask too soon if you don’t even know what I’m studying / what I do for work

 

[ATV2021]

Haha exactly it! I’m deleting the apps off my phone but keeping my account. They will be there when I get back, I have a lovely holiday to enjoy first.

Edit for his further response… maybe you did ask too soon if you don’t even know what I’m studying / what I do for work

View attachment 843831

Well.... God loves a trier

 

[PiesAndLattes]

Well.... God loves a trier

Going to do a swift unmatch even though he seemed like a nice fella