Morning
![Smiling face :relaxed: ☺](https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/gh/joypixels/emoji-assets@5.0/png/64/263a.png)
What a shit start to the year it has been for me! I generally dislike the start of a new year as I worry about what that year will bring, once I’m a few months in I relax…..I worry about everything! Anyhow a lil back story, my eldest had cancer when he was 5, beat the shit out of it! So I always had that fear his cancer would return or that my other two would get it. Then my husband gets diagnosed with an inoperable brain stem tumour in 2016
![Weary face :weary: 😩](https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/gh/joypixels/emoji-assets@5.0/png/64/1f629.png)
thankfully it has not grown and remained stable since (he has MRI’s every 6months) but his whole outlook on life has changed, he always talks about not being here much longer.
My eldest (the one who had cancer) also has scoliosis which doesn’t warrant any treatment according to the Dr’s even though it is very visible and he suffers from it! He was in pain before Christmas so went for a blood test, it came back he was anaemic and had inflammation in his blood, so he had an urgent referral done for it to be investigated because of his previous history. Well as you can imagine I spent the first two weeks of this year with mad anxiety, two hospitals refused his urgent referral and he was finally seen two days ago had an examination of his head and neck area (that’s where his original tumour was) and a camera down his throat, all looked fine. We have now got to wait for him to have a full body CT scan, I am praying it all comes back clear. Right now my anxiety is ok, I am telling myself not to worry and work myself up about something that I don’t know. Try and stay positive (easier said than done)
I also found out two days ago that the type of breast implants I have were recalled back in 2019 as there were a couple of cases of breast cancer linked to them
![Tired face :tired_face: 😫](https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/gh/joypixels/emoji-assets@5.0/png/64/1f62b.png)
I am awaiting a call for an appointment to have them removed which isn’t going to be cheap! So yeah……..January has been shit so far! It’s my birthday tomorrow, I have asked a couple of my close friends to come round and we will have a couple drinks a good chin wag and that will hopefully take my mind of all this shit if only for one night!
Oh and I start my new 2nd job today so that’s one positive to come from this month!