Could you marry someone poor/minimum wage?

[Begborrowsteal]

Well this is a yucky read.

People generally are a payslip or 2 away from being fucked. Wanting luxury is absolutely fine, punching down isnt.

I couldnt imagine wasting thousands of pounds on a fancy car, for example. But thats important to others. Different strokes innit.

 

[Jellybean093]

Are we on mumsnet?

My partner earns minimum wage, he has his own business it's just not well paid. Doesn't bother me because I've got my own job and house and tbh having been married to someone who was ambitious to the detriment of our family that was a million times worse. Would I marry him? duck no, I have no intention of marrying anyone ever again.

I don’t really see this as mums net, but I can honestly say I’d rather be skint than my husband be out all the time working and fulfilling his ambitions. I’ve done it for the last 6 months, and would never do it again. And we are both ok with that

 

[coriander]

But, realistically, £25k isn’t a low wage?

It's below the national average

 

[Begborrowsteal]

25k, if renting and with a family, is low (imo). 100% low in London lol

 

[Jellybean093]

It's below the national average

But it’s still a decent wage? One I wouldn’t put my nose up at

 

[Warriorqueen]

Not looking down on anyone , I’m just stating the life I want and being honest about it and was curious about other peoples opinions

Let’s put it this way, my husband didn’t tell me about his wealth until he was around 5 dates in because of people like you

 

[Jellybean093]

25k, if renting and with a family, is low (imo). 100% low in London lol

You’ve literally described me, but we get by! And we have a nice life

 

[latranla]

the thought of wearing primark and driving a focus give you anxiety? And you wouldn’t want to be with someone earning, what I consider a decent wage. But it’s all about the money. Not falling in love and being with someone because of them. But by what their bank balance says

Not all about the money but I do believe it’s an important factor in marriage or looking for a partner aswell as their goals , ambitions abs what kind of lifestyle they want to lead !

 

[shadowcat5]

Again was just being honest, don’t care too much on what other people think or how they want to live - child free / earn 30k a year until their 50 etc … I’m just giving my opinion on how I like to live and was just curious to hear other peoples life goals …(btw I actually owned a Toyota as a first car !)

That's fine, but I find it interesting that you have asked the question 'would you marry someone who was poor/earned minimum wage'
If you want the finer things in life surely it is your responsibility to go out and get those? Not your partners? How you like to live and marrying someone 'poor' isn't really the same thing in my opinion

 

[Begborrowsteal]

You’ve literally described me, but we get by! And we have a nice life

Its not a tit wage, at all but it can be a juggle for things. I'm on a similar wage atm!

 

[Rippedjeanmaybe]

I have second hand embarrassment reading the posts by the OP...

Same! How cringey!

They are the kind of person I’d roll my eyes at in the office while they’re bragging away… meanwhile I’d rather stay humble.

I’ve been in poverty growing up and it doesn’t make you any less of a person because you rely on primark and cheap cars. If a car gets you from A to B does anyone really give a stuff except snobby twats?

 

[Jellybean093]

Not all about the money but I do believe it’s an important factor in marriage or looking for a partner aswell as their goals , ambitions abs what kind of lifestyle they want to lead !

When I met my husband, he was in £20k worth of debt that I have helped get him out of. If I’d have said ‘no thanks’ I wouldn’t have the life I have now

 

[DaisyDaisy87]

My partner earns a decent wage but when we met we both were young and in minimum wage jobs. We worked our way up, bought a house and now I’m fortunate to be able to stay at home with our baby. However I always check in on him that it’s not too much financial pressure on him. He recently got a job closer to home for a bit less money but it means he gets to see our baby in the mornings and evenings before bed which to us is so much more important.

I’d much rather he was happy and had a good work/life balance than be working all hours to buy me a Range Rover.

 

[Snippysnips]

I honestly find it funny people are looking down on others for a car choice, why not pick a car just because you like it? I said before we mostly got by on my mum's wage cause my dad's money is all tied up in savings but when it come to buying things like the house or car he would, he outright bought the house no mortgage at 250k, an he could easily go into any porche or jaguar etc an buy the latest model if he wanted to, but he's perfectly happy with his vauxhall corsa

I also think tbh it's nothing to do with anyone what others choose to do with their money, it's theirs not yours, if I were to marry someone who was wealthy, it's got nothing to do with me how they choose to spend it, so long as they were paying their half in rent/mortgage, bills an food etc then how they choose to spend the rest is up to them an I'd expect the same respect, my dad always made sure to cover what his part was in my parents marriage but anything extra it was his decision, if my mum wanted to spoil us with unnecessary things then it was her money she needed to use

Am also curious to know if being in a job with no desire to move means you aren't "bettering yourself" I for one loved my old job an would have been happy to stay, why move to something I hate just because someone else thinks I have no ambition or drive to get better, I was damn good at my job an that was enough

 

[Hope96]

Same! How cringey!

They are the kind of person I’d roll my eyes at in the office while they’re bragging away… meanwhile I’d rather stay humble.

I’ve been in poverty growing up and it doesn’t make you any less of a person because you rely on primark and cheap cars. If a car gets you from A to B does anyone really give a stuff except snobby twats.

100%. It makes me feel a bit annoyed knowing OP is looking down on those who are happy with not earning crazy amounts of money or not seeking partners who are going to fund their lifestyles. They seem to think what they are saying is ok because they started of with a Toyota car. It is all a bit sad really... money can't buy humility eh!

 

[miss_americana]

100%. It makes me feel a bit annoyed knowing OP is looking down on those who are happy with not earning crazy amounts of money or not seeking partners who are going to fund their lifestyles. They seem to think what they are saying is ok because they started of with a Toyota car. It is all a bit sad really... money can't buy humility eh!

BUT OP’s FIRST CAR WAS A TOYOTA SO ITS ALL OKAY #relatable

 

[Rippedjeanmaybe]

When I met my husband, he was in £20k worth of debt that I have helped get him out of. If I’d have said ‘no thanks’ I wouldn’t have the life I have now

When I met my husband I was 19 & he was 21. He was in a low paid job starting off his career & I was in uni working 2 jobs to support myself and my mum.

We didn’t choose to be together because of earnings, we chose to be together because of shared hobbies, interests & goals for the future. We saved up and bought our first home equally. We are now late 20’s and he’s now a director and earns a lot more than me. He’s also wanting to start his own business.

He hasn’t suddenly decided he’s going to divorce me because I’m on a low wage! He knows there’s way more to me than that!

 

[Hope96]

BUT OP’s FIRST CAR WAS A TOYOTA SO ITS ALL OKAY #relatable

 

[Rippedjeanmaybe]

Currently batting the eyelids at the husband to see if I can exchange my Toyota for a Range so I can drive around looking down at the peasants from a great crappy height

 

[shadowcat5]

100%. It makes me feel a bit annoyed knowing OP is looking down on those who are happy with not earning crazy amounts of money or not seeking partners who are going to fund their lifestyles. They seem to think what they are saying is ok because they started of with a Toyota car. It is all a bit sad really... money can't buy humility eh!

I wouldn't let it bother you. We all end up in the ground (or ash but you get my drift) at the end of the day.