Honest opinions please and no judgement given … Could you marry someone or be with someone who was poor / earned minimum wage or say just above it and they have no intentions/ambitions of bettering themselves? Eg. will probably be earning 25k a year by the time they’re I their 40s working full time. I’d love to hear honest opinions rather these PC answers… does wealth and more importantly lack of ambition bother you when looking for a partner?
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I don't think I could. I'm not the most ambitious person but I am in a decent job and am progressing. I wouldn't want a life where I am constantly a few poor decisions away from losing everything.
Minimum wage jobs tend to be less secure also.
I live in a traditionally low wage area so we’d be able to manage ok around here, although it would mean I would have to stay working.
It depends on where you live and what any potential mortgage repayment would be. You’d have to factor in going back to work if you chose to have kids too and childcare costs.
They may not be an ambitious person work wise but what are they like personally? I couldn’t respect someone who was also not ambitious to have a nice home or help in the home too.
It depends on where you live and what any potential mortgage repayment would be. You’d have to factor in going back to work if you chose to have kids too and childcare costs.
They may not be an ambitious person work wise but what are they like personally? I couldn’t respect someone who was also not ambitious to have a nice home or help in the home too.
Honestly it would be the person who mattered not what they earned, the vast majority are on min wage or living wage an it can he hard to get above it, all jobs I've had have been min wage an I've been retail,office,care home etc an some jobs I absolutely loved, the care home for instance I enjoyed but lost due to COVID, if someone wasn't happy with my wage then they can go, to me being happy goes above money, my brother makes quite a bit but is never home, misses out on his kid an is just constantly working crappy times
The wage itself is irrelevant, but the no intentions/ambitions of bettering themselves would be a huge red flag for me.
I’d be happy they had a job tbh. Just because you think the wage is low, doesn’t mean they don’t have any ambition?
I got married because I love my husband, not because of the money he had in the bank
I got married because I love my husband, not because of the money he had in the bank
Honestly.
25k isn't a that bad.
Some people don't have aspirations to be earning hundreds of thousands of pounds a year, and that's okay, if they can make their life worth while and bring me happiness and make me feel loved and worthy i wouldn't care if they were earning 25k or 250k.
Money isn't the bee all and end all of life.
25k isn't a that bad.
Some people don't have aspirations to be earning hundreds of thousands of pounds a year, and that's okay, if they can make their life worth while and bring me happiness and make me feel loved and worthy i wouldn't care if they were earning 25k or 250k.
Money isn't the bee all and end all of life.
I probably wouldn't mind as long as they worked full time and worked hard. The work ethic is more important to me than the job itself.
I couldn't be in a relationship with someone who couldn't be bothered to work, or who worked part time when they didn't need to.
Sometimes lack of ambition can be laziness, but other times it can just be because the person loves their current job and doesn't want all the tit that comes from higher ranking jobs. I do sometimes wonder if I made the right decision heading into a management grade, because more of my job seems to be managing other people (some of whom are lazy) than just getting on with the work. I can understand why that puts some people off progressing.
I couldn't be in a relationship with someone who couldn't be bothered to work, or who worked part time when they didn't need to.
Sometimes lack of ambition can be laziness, but other times it can just be because the person loves their current job and doesn't want all the tit that comes from higher ranking jobs. I do sometimes wonder if I made the right decision heading into a management grade, because more of my job seems to be managing other people (some of whom are lazy) than just getting on with the work. I can understand why that puts some people off progressing.
I don't think wealth would but I think lack of 'ambition' would for me. Although, not in work/money. For me, it's about life ambition. I don't think I could live with someone who was just content doing the same things over and over with no desire for anything better. I think it's cause I have family members like that. No desires for tidying up their houses, renovating, trying new things, trips/holidays. I know someone who loves sport but won't even go to a match. All they do is watch tv but refuse to upgrade so they've still got a box tv that is just about compatible with sky. They just do the same thing week in week out 365 days a year. I couldn't be with someone who was happy to live like that. It's not about the money itself, I don't care if the thing we do is try a new coffee shop, I just couldn't do nothing forever.
Not sure that answers the question but basically it would be what they were like as a person versus how much they earned.
Not sure that answers the question but basically it would be what they were like as a person versus how much they earned.
Am also curious to know what people would think if someone did earn high but didn't spend it, just because they are pulling in good money doesn't mean to say it's going to be a fancier lifestyle 
My dad worked oil rigs for years, but tbh we were no better off than if he just worked at home on min wage because all his money was an still is locked up in savings, we mostly go by on my mum's wage, I'd actually have preferred if he did just work at home because he missed absolutely everything with me growing up, bdays, first an last school days, performances etc, the first new year he ever spent with us I was 19 an the first bday he was home for was my 21st
My dad worked oil rigs for years, but tbh we were no better off than if he just worked at home on min wage because all his money was an still is locked up in savings, we mostly go by on my mum's wage, I'd actually have preferred if he did just work at home because he missed absolutely everything with me growing up, bdays, first an last school days, performances etc, the first new year he ever spent with us I was 19 an the first bday he was home for was my 21st
My husband’s ambitions would have ended up with him in an early grave/divorced/not seeing the children. He has now cut down his job hours, is home more, both our mental health is back to how it was and he is now enjoying the time with our children. He wants to better himself, but it’s just not the right time.
ETA - I’ve never known anyone to work as hard as him. I’m more than happy for him to take a £2k pay cut and be present
ETA - I’ve never known anyone to work as hard as him. I’m more than happy for him to take a £2k pay cut and be present
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Me personally, the health and happiness of my partner is far more important than the money he brings in or the type of job he does. That said, my partner and I have been together a long time so we have priorities that are applicable to us and our relationship. I wouldn't expect someone else to have the exact same as everyone is different.
When I was single and looking for a partner, I did look for someone with a good work ethic. Salary didn't matter as such as long as they were sensible with their money and were willing to work for a living. I couldn't have got with someone who refused to work or had a poor attitude towards work. On the flip side, I couldn't have gotwith someone whose life revolved around getting to the top and earning tons of money. Dedication to their job is one thing but there has to be a decent work/life balance. I think these things very much depend on the individual. Does wealth/ambition matter to me? No. But I do respect that those things matter to others and I would never judge someone for that.
When I was single and looking for a partner, I did look for someone with a good work ethic. Salary didn't matter as such as long as they were sensible with their money and were willing to work for a living. I couldn't have got with someone who refused to work or had a poor attitude towards work. On the flip side, I couldn't have gotwith someone whose life revolved around getting to the top and earning tons of money. Dedication to their job is one thing but there has to be a decent work/life balance. I think these things very much depend on the individual. Does wealth/ambition matter to me? No. But I do respect that those things matter to others and I would never judge someone for that.
I don't know the wage difference is the issue or the (perceived) difference in quality of life. There would probably be a lot of resentment if the highest earner felt like they had to fund the others lifestyle.
It also depends how high the other partners income is. Perhaps after deductions and outgoings there may be a similar amount of money l3ft.
I wouldn't want to be with someone I didn't feel compatible with . I wouldn't want to be with someone who was always working , especially if they had their own business and I felt like I came second to it.
People on minimum wage jobs often have a better work life balance
It also depends how high the other partners income is. Perhaps after deductions and outgoings there may be a similar amount of money l3ft.
I wouldn't want to be with someone I didn't feel compatible with . I wouldn't want to be with someone who was always working , especially if they had their own business and I felt like I came second to it.
People on minimum wage jobs often have a better work life balance
Yeh I thought minimum wage was less than that, I'm not on minimum wage and that is my salary
for me money would be irrelevant but I would probably find it hard to be someone who hated their job, obviously we all have problems at work but listening to someone complaining about their work/dreading going in every day would be hard
My partner and I both have decent jobs and live a comfortable life but if he wanted to take a pay cut and earn less I honestly wouldn’t care, I’d just want him to be happy and there’s no point burning yourself out just to have a few extra quid in the bank. My partner is really ambitious and I love that about him but to me personally, I wouldn’t care if he wasn’t ambitious, I love him regardless. God im cheesy haha
Yes I would be willing to marry some on £25k if it meant a better quality of life for them. I'm into the FIRE movement which can still be done on a lower income. As long as we were on the same page about saving/ investing/ other things I don't see that being a problem. Having been into minimalism for almost 5 years now- having stuff isn't everything to me.
I'm a fan of therapy/ self growth. I wouldn't want to be with someone who didn't want to work on themselves though.
I'm a fan of therapy/ self growth. I wouldn't want to be with someone who didn't want to work on themselves though.
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No, I'm very ambitious and earn very well. If I was with someone who wasn't ambitious / wasn't earning the same or close to I would feel like there is an imbalance in the relationship. Imho, in relationships where there is a huge pay gap between partners, the one with the high salary usually has the leverage over the other and I wouldn't want someone to have that over me or have that over someone else. I would personally want to feel equal in terms of contributing to our lifestyle together. Just my 2p
Interesting, the only couples j nknow with big salary gaps are always the men earning more and usually couples with children so the woman does more childcare. Does anyone know any couples that do the opposite?
Meant to add, this is in the scenario where 1 partner is earning significantly more than the other who also showed no signs of looking to improve. I think after a while I would wonder if it was a marriage of convenience / gain for them. This goes for both genders, I know of both men and women who have dated someone specifically for their bank account.
If the pay gap was smaller and not much difference, then no I wouldn't care at all.
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