Cleaning with Mario #78 Rats in the attic, snakes oan the app, a bespoke bedsit full of crap

[DaisyDeluxe]

Fuck sake! Going to 8 bloody Tescos is NOT getting them straight away. In fact it’s the actual opposite of getting them “straight” away

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Who on their right mind spends time (and presumably money on petrol) going round eight supermarkets to get ANYTHING? I’m telling you, there’s no bloody cost of living crisis if folk can piss money away like that.

 

[hopethishelpsallthebest]

What is this fresh hell? A fool and his (or wee Deeks) money are easily parted wuz definitely written wi Martin in mind.


Mebbes @hopethishelpsallthebest is tricking us aw wi the fancy photoshopping skills and Martin buys that much shite we believe it

I cannae take credit for that ma lovelie, unbelievably its not photoshopped! Look at it ffs, its almost as bad as his centerpiece he made

 

[Cinpab]

Hen's he's shit on the bus, he's shit on the bus!

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Learn to drive then and get a car you scrote.

 

[hopethishelpsallthebest]

What the fuck is this ma lovlie

A rough chunk of leftover wood, with the app sticker slapped oan it ma lovelie. Lord knows how much the psychopath payed for this shit!

 

[Madge2022]

Is it Sunday already?

 

[avabella]

I've just figured out exactly where his house is and I'm creased. Next time I'm through that way I'm going to hang around to see if I can see him and the gnome.

 

[Dawn Dayn]

Ugh, 2 dirty bum holes brushing against fresh bedding. All kids of wrong.

Getting up in the morning, sitting on the edge of the bed scratching his bald head while his arse is leaving a ginger circle on the bottom sheet.

 

[IsaPeoplehuvtaeknow]

I thought that was a bit of the packaging he was holding up
Mario - Awwww my god I pure love that
That's beautiful (plank of wood)
Aww ma kitchen is bamboo and wood am right intae that
It's dead weighty
This is so nice it's so beautiful
This is good for decorating your wee coffee stations or coffee tables pure nice btw I love it
I'm going have these for ma snacks and dips (when does he ever have movie nights)
Aye cause your going get into your bed with your snacks, ceramic bowls and crisp dip bowls
He's a

I've lost count now of many glass,plastic, ceramic, velvet, silk pumpkins this one man child has got.

 

[menopausalmargrit]

He’s posted a reel of his “autumn tea corner” or whatever it is and someone under it has put, “looks so cosy”. Honestly, get fucked! How can a corner of MDF, tea, sugar and mugs look cosy?

 

[littlemissgiggles]

"AHH ReMEMBUR" I was young prior to watching those repetitive, pointless dots of doom (no ma quote).

 

[Blanche Hunt]

Bought his first Xmas gift, probably a “Tae Martin love Martin” effort oan Deeks credit caird.

 

[Madge2022]

‘Grab a cuppa’. Give over.
I’ve had three large glasses before I could watch the dots of doom. What a load of shit. That first thing with the paint rubbed off?

That scabby pumpkin tray thing is £30! Wouldn't even buy it at £3.

 

[lauhlauhlauh]

If he really does think you can make wax melts in a wok with a spatula, then I’m living for this new bespoke journey we’re about to embark on. Hannah must be quaking in her boots.

 

[Hyacinthsquash]

Ah am affronted that he is taking them morning pics from his bed whilst he is nudey undae the covers . Wee blinds cracked open showing Beirut bedside view, Marion’s Todger sweating away undae the sheets..

 

[hopethishelpsallthebest]

@hopethishelpsallthebest don’t want to add to your work load oan this app that is no your joab but this is just screaming to be photoshopped into a boaby.

It kind of is ma joab now, (unpaid before someone grasses me tae tax man) I may start stamping #AD on tae ma wee photo's!

 

[mrsbucket]

The people's Princess hus taken a leave of absence from 'this app' as a mark of respect for HRH.

That's my weekend entertainment oot the windae faster than Rayn the wean.

 

[Ferguson]

Hallo ma lovelies.

Am just aboot tae order masel a wee Instagram logo tae remind masel I have an acoont.

I was no well the day, I put on ma sleeping bag coat, ma polyester leggings and ma size 3 Timberlands.

It's only 22 degrees
I goat on the bus and a felt all hot

Wasnae a panic attack
Was probleys a panic attack.

Ma page ma rules nae debates

 

[Caw1982]

Yep. Delusional.
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Fucking hell Will Smith didn't make such a commotion at the Oscars this year than this silly daft bitch.
I'm curious of his definition of success. If getting a free bottle of Zoflora or a wax melt is success and winning at life, then bugger me. I've failed.

 

[Seonag]

The only things he can think of to put in all they bowls he has shown is crisps and all different flavour crisps . Wow what a sales man .

 

[DaisyDeluxe]

Hiya hens, have been super ill this last 18 hours with a stomach bug, have only just summoned up the strength to come on tattle. First port of call is always the Mario thread, this will get me right cheered up and help take my mind off the sickness!