Can’t believe Dunelum would have the audacity to copy oor Mazda’s creations
I called it when I went in a week ago I saw the same chair and said here that's what his sneak peak was.
I'm sat here ready for ma nightshift in ma joab that's ma joab that I work 9 hours a night in, wonderin where the space tae fart in that bedroom will be, I'm convinced that he thinks he's in Gleneagles except we'll call it baldeagles boudoir 5 star lukshiray Hotel and so forth, high footfall reception area where you're greeted by the smell of absaloot wealth of Tam Ford doop and the frenchic door buzzer, awaits you is ensuite shower room (well it's no an ensuite but the hoos is that wee the bathroom is all but attached) and into the parlour of dreams where you'll be aw cosy next to the fire that isnae a fire but a kid on fire that creates copious amounts of ambience in the 3x3 space of grandeur. Your sleeping arrangements involve stickin the nut in some hangin bulbs a headboard the length of the wall, such amenities as a dyson, a nightclub toilet guards selection of parfooms, a cat that hates its very existence which explains the faint smell of pish everywhere.
Your host is Moira who serves a breakfast of oil boiled eggs and square slice that could pan in a windae in. You can enjoy an afternoon tea of mortons rolls done in a George forman grill pureeeee staypul, a cheeseboard wae dairylee and pepperami all IBS friendly and a lukewarm cup of piss (sorry hotel chocolat hot chocolate) dont ask questions just inhale the wealth up your clutched beak, and do not pay attention to the bent console leg, fousty skirting or the fact the tele doesnae fit. Sit back and relax for a late checkout, wave to the brass monkeys downstairs as you depart, feel refreshed as you can now mop kick whatever days arse you should wake up on. All For the luxurious price of £40 a night. He's truly is a colossal wanker tryin tae polish a turd but