Mary could febreze the crowd.
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Cue Mario going to a Rangers game in a couple of weeks to prove a point!
I have a proper dry mouth now because I've been sitting with a dropped jaw for 10 minutes now at that god awful wallpaper. The way that the 'after' video ended as well, right on the badly painted ceiling and cupboard. Oh Melvin, I almost feel sorry for you
*unscrews lid of cherries and pops one in everyone's babycham*
*unscrews lid of cherries and pops one in everyone's babycham*
I’ve been a brand rep for a few companies in the past and never got paid anything never known anyone too I think it’s just free gifts and the discount is just to get people to buy from themI think he's paid when he does brand rep codesprobably gets a % of sales for each code that's used
I noticed the end part
surely should have slapped some paper on that too 
If I ever, ever consider using a crushed crystal beauty box (canesten can cure that I'm sure) for my remotes, just shoot me please
Ooh I've just looked.
Well, I note the previous paint job had very rough edges. And his new wallpaper doesn't go with his floor.
IT'S bleeping AWFUL ALL ROUND.
So so funny. Mary darling, you've got no taste. None.
Look at ceiling/wall. It's got exzeeema. Perhaps Mariooo painted it when his eyes were poorly.
Ooh I've just looked.
Well, I note the previous paint job had very rough edges. And his new wallpaper doesn't go with his floor.
IT'S bleeping AWFUL ALL ROUND.
So so funny. Mary darling, you've got no taste. None.
Look at ceiling/wall. It's got exzeeema. Perhaps Mariooo painted it when his eyes were poorly.
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I didn't even have time to get my wax melts lit
What the bleeping duck has happened it his kitchen? I thought the vertical hold had gone on my phone! The floor and the walls just don’t belong in the same decade, never mind the same room!
it’s like a terrible black & white horror film! Just too much... typical Melv, over the top tasteless trash. I’m sure the next council tenant in there, will be thrilled with the Prison Cell Block H style kitchen!
it’s like a terrible black & white horror film! Just too much... typical Melv, over the top tasteless trash. I’m sure the next council tenant in there, will be thrilled with the Prison Cell Block H style kitchen!
Can't stop sniggering. How is Insta free ffs, top comedy.
Wax melts were earlier this week - it's the bottled scent of crapets and tacky sofas now. The new Ava May bespoke scent. And so forthI didn't even have time to get my wax melts lit
it's a bit like aura before a migraine.
OMG!! I actually snorted at this!Maybe Melv will treat Derek to a bespoke hand job
I leave mine on the floor or my coffee table, like a bleeping neanderthal. I have to search through the empty bottles of cider and cheap vodka to find ma reeeemoootes
And we get the big vanity table and mirror reveal tomorrow.
Plus I bet he makes potato hands and mimes us all a lurveeeee song @Kikini Bamalam will be making humus all night long
I had a pint of Irn Bru and vodka ready for this reveal. I’ve just downed it to cope with that hideous wallpaper
Am every wumun its all en meeeeeeee 
Seriously though not being bitchy cos it’s him 
but I can feel my eyes crossing looking at that. Far too much for a wee room n he needs to change his flooring. It’s faaarrrr tooo much - but then again so is he 
but I can feel my eyes crossing looking at that. Far too much for a wee room n he needs to change his flooring. It’s faaarrrr tooo much - but then again so is he I bet you, a pound to a pinch of tit, the fucker is going to make a right old fuss when he hits 85k. (He’s currently on 84.9!)
There’ll be head wobbling, lip syncing, see you mother fuckers.
He’ll possibly have a beige chippy tea, in celebration and a large can of Iron Bru.
There’ll be head wobbling, lip syncing, see you mother fuckers.
He’ll possibly have a beige chippy tea, in celebration and a large can of Iron Bru.
Melvin's gaff makes me feel like I'm on a terrible acid trip but also looks like the worst place on earth to actually have an acid trip. Sensory overload to the extreme 
A jus luvvit
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