Going to get pics of him without his hoose coat on, his strangler peen all angry.Dangle by your tail from his crappy bedroom light fitting and make him scream like he's in a horror film
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Surely no one in their right mind would buy that? If I walked into someones house and saw that I would make a point of spilling my drink down it!
Strangler peen..... someone is going to be pure 'fumming' reading that. I'm still trying to breathe
someone is going to be pure 'fumming' reading that. I'm still trying to breathe 
Playing catch up again!
no way that’s his sister- no one is that illiterate- that’s some one truing hard to write like a moron!
no way that’s his sister- no one is that illiterate- that’s some one truing hard to write like a moron!
He could glitz it up with cushions with his face on, a couple of those strings of Christmas beads to go around the edge. A chunky throw from primark not the expensive one from made in chunky. Cos he has sold that to buy irn bruThe Swyft sofa's are not bling enough for Melvin's tat cave, it's definitely something from Danielle at discounted beds.
I'm still holding out for a wax melt sofa though
Could be these ones. He has “liked” the pic
Hope the cat rips it to bleeping shreds. Conceited wee arse.
They look so uncomfortable! Hows melv gonna sprawl out on those coming home from a weekend in the cells after tanning a quarter bottle of vodka and calling everyone cunts
That table is pissing me off to the point that I can't even see the thing they're trying to sell!
Dying at your Judderman picture.
Mario #6 Rumpleforeskin and the Strangler Peen!
#dead
#dead
If I remember correctly he did have a sequinned cushion with him and Derek onHe could glitz it up with cushions with his face on, a couple of those strings of Christmas beads to go around the edge. A chunky throw from primark not the expensive one from made in chunky. Cos he has sold that to buy irn bru
Same! Truly awful. Is that living room TILED? Not sure I've ever seen that before. Yikes.
Yep and am more convinced than ever it's coming from the bed, plush mirror, knocker chair vendor.
I do love it when we can burst his balloons and be completely unsurprised
we really fae work hard
And by god we deserve it
So aye
can just see it now! lying on his bespoke bed having just done his skin care and got into his pajamas (and rankcoat) - drinking a giant can of run bru whilst typing furiously into tattle pretending to be his partners sister. First sparks coming from his strangler fingers as he furiously types, then some smoke, then flames! All of a sudden the flames reach the last half a dozen hairs on his heed and singe the final hangers on off to duck - then the bespoke headboard catches alight and Marion’s up shouting “Derek ma wallpaper ma wallpaper dae sumthin “ Derek just about manages to open one eye while simultaneously removing Raaaayyynnnn from on top of the cardboard wardrobes.
Jesus Christ, that place would go up faster than a nuns nightie wirh the amount of gifted free plush velvet shite he hoards
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He can’t help himself. It’s obvious he’s trying to use ‘we’ but he’s such a self centered prick, he doesn’t see anything as ‘we’ it’s all Me Me Me
What I want to know is... has be put the Wanket away so it will be fresh for his new sofa???
if he’s such a good guy and the savior of small businesses, would it not be more apt for him to post a story to ask his sheep if anyone is struggling and might need some bits to make a home. Give them his poxy table and sofa. He’s selling them but it’s not like he is selling them to go towards a new sofa. He’s a selfish poison little prick to the core.
Happy Monday y’all. Here’s hoping the cat has spent the night sharpening his claws to wear in the new sofa
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if he’s such a good guy and the savior of small businesses, would it not be more apt for him to post a story to ask his sheep if anyone is struggling and might need some bits to make a home. Give them his poxy table and sofa. He’s selling them but it’s not like he is selling them to go towards a new sofa. He’s a selfish poison little prick to the core.
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Don’t be daft, selling his couch and stunning mirrored desk, is going towards HIS holiday!
Their wages only just cover the rent on that shiny grey palace, his weekly trips to B&M and lets not forget their luxurious, weekly beige battered meal, in Paolo Nutinis da’s chippy!
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Don’t be daft, selling his couch and stunning mirrored desk, is going towards HIS holiday!
Their wages only just cover the rent on that shiny grey palace, his weekly trips to B&M and lets not forget their luxurious, weekly beige battered meal, in Paolo Nutinis da’s chippy!
It’s defo from that discounted gaff.
so that plush material will be a pisser to keep looking clean.
different from a bed as you sit on the material every day.
it’s one plain colour, no flecks of different bits of grey like the other one so won’t hide ANYTHING.
he won’t be able to fluff It with his squeegee, it will ruin the fabric over time.
I imagine continually spraying it with febreeze will leave marks on it as well.
it’s awful material that plush stuff: I wouldn’t get given anything, especially a sofa. Dust attracter!
so that plush material will be a pisser to keep looking clean.
different from a bed as you sit on the material every day.
it’s one plain colour, no flecks of different bits of grey like the other one so won’t hide ANYTHING.
he won’t be able to fluff It with his squeegee, it will ruin the fabric over time.
I imagine continually spraying it with febreeze will leave marks on it as well.
it’s awful material that plush stuff: I wouldn’t get given anything, especially a sofa. Dust attracter!
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