Cleaning with Mario #42 Autumless Autumn Jurney

[Dawn Dayn]

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The bespoke Prosecco Bar is the content I’m here for.

More excited about this hoos party than my own birthday.

I'm so embarrassed for him, he's a broke part time cleaner living in a tiny flat in a bad area. Flat belongs to his brain dead fiance. It's not even a landmark birthday.

 

[Booboo76]

Correct me if I’m wrong but when they were rooting through his cupboards I definitely heard someone say “remember peppergate” isn’t it just us who called it that or did maz? Because if it’s just us tattle bastards then they’re certainly no friends of his are they, I might be wrong so if anyone knows

 

[menopausalmargrit]

Well ma lovelies am just in from seeing HRH Jane tonight and there’s 7 pages to go through on here!!!! Ahv just looked at his stories and I called it - Italian in the Merchant City and back in the hotel for 9pm. How tragic.

Here’s a wee photie of oor Jane from tonight. Front row nonetheless. Smell the wealth a know.

 

[Inmyainlane]

 

[lauhlauhlauh]

My birthday highlights:

The cameo from the Ring door bell which he definitely pressed himself to make sure it appeared in Hannah’s story.

The metal straws in the McDonalds - am surprised it wasn’t decanted into the reusable Coke and Fanta cups.

Stolen slippers from the hotel.

The 1980s spread he put on the tapas table - hello cubed cheese.

Deek fucking off to get a train when they had a flat tyre.

And this thread!! Youse have been goalden this weekend. Abzalutleee goalden! Nae debates, this is the best thread oan Tattle. So aye. That’s all am posting the day

 

[DollyTheLamb]

Who the fuck does he think he is?
One bedroom tap dancer
lives in a close
in Seedhill
part time cardboard cleaner
boyfriend who gets excited over a free packet of hotel biscuits
delusions of grandeur!!!
Beaky wee scrote 🪦

Ma hoose, Ma perty, Ma tombstone!!!

 

[menopausalmargrit]

Auch, look at this, a new threed on this dayn of dawn that is our beloved Marion McKnights Birthday!!! I hope he gets aw the presents and that he is living is life as it should be (Italian meal, leathal drinks and aw cosy in bed by 9pm)!!!!

I can almost guarantee there will be a beak clutching fake story to rival the lost most mobile phone of Christmas past!!!!

Tonaslove,
M xxx

 

[Babybail93]

Are they all sharing that room? today has been a joy!
Orange face
Hotel room bigger than his actual home
Personalised make up bag
Derek dressed like a road man
Moira off her tits on excitement
Hannah having the confidence to park a Range outside the bedsit

 

[Babybail93]

Ma Granny’s wake was more fun than this tits birthday night. Such a build up and then nothing happened. Maz never lets us doon. So aye

 

[lauhlauhlauh]

The bespoke Prosecco Bar is the content I’m here for.

More excited about this hoos party than my own birthday.

 

[Doingitforthegramhuns]

What the fuck are those

 

[LennyBriscoe]

When you’ve got a sare lug
And you’re feart oh the dug….That’s Amore

 

[lauhlauhlauh]

Just gonna leave this here…

 

[BespokeBiatch]

Hello ma lovelies

Well!!! Youse did not disappoint wit yees aw like! Bunch a Isa’s youse aw are so yees ur.

Am back in ma comfies getting all cosy and safe cos am ur who am ur youse know me a like ma comfort and that so aye.

Goat 937271 new candles and diffusers in the smell amore carbonara and in the colour beige with ma birthday money so a did and am convincing oor H to make me a doop line in ma brand with her.

So aye anyway aw youse tattle bastards can take a seat and get some class, aw the years of slagging ma Make up collection when I says it’s for the lassies comin roon. I had to up ma Klarna limit for aw ma new Charlotte tilbury make up so oor Hannah could get a swatch so aye karma on aw yer arses

Back in ma bed noo with a wee night cap, am having wan o them they are LETHAL!!!

Well you only turn 38 once and it was one to remember!!!

Another year of being me! My life! My rules! No hassle! Just cosy vibes

Tunza luv and tattie hearts .. M

 

[Babybail93]

Ffs the scheme neds have brought Bucky with them this isn’t going to end well. Guaranteed one of the wimps(H, Margo or Deek) will spew their ring all over the place

I’m hoping it ends in a massive row then tomorrow we can have Mario doing 1,000 dot stories with a black eye, talking about snakes

 

[Notanotherinfluencer92]

I swerved so hard out of mae own Layne to do my first post that Iv given maeself bespoke whiplash.

If my dad I was the owner of the wee bespoke bleach scented wax melt company that is AMA I would be absolutely fuuuuming. Marjary has his name plastered on a shite knock off his own collection with them and I see way more Joe Maloan posted across his stories that any of that AMA tat. Speaks volumes about the brand.

Anyhows I cannae contain the excitement of my first post so I’m swerving right back into my lane and off to get some criss and joos and buckle in for a weekend of Pat Butcher debauchery

much love mae lovelies

ps, you’ve all kept me smiling through lockdown x

 

[Poptart]

Birthdays over so he's remembered he has a hurty ear

 

[Sickofinstagramcrap]

The strangest birthday celebration decorations I have ever seen. I have no words.

Looks like a headstone in a grave yard

 

[Cady1954]

You know how I've whinged and moaned the last couple of months about being blocked by daft lad? Well in the bowels of my Instagram I found a cheeky little account I made off another email. Result! Gotcha! Up yours Mario!

 

[Babybail93]

Who wore it better?!?!