You need to swerve right back in ya own lane ma lovelie… with his bespoke super highly sensitive irritating skin our poor wee Mazda can’t be exfoliating
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Mair bang fae his ibsPahahahahaha!!!!!I’ve seen mair bang fae a damp firework
And arrived to find her number one fan/arse licker Mazda sat with a lounge full of Jo MaloneThat lassie driven all that way and away to her bed
Is it possible that there's a part 2 tomorrow?
Dereks got bollock knees
Hawld on a minute...
Do u think because he doesn’t read here
that he’s gone for a freshen up for a go on the marching powder (yeah right) he’s having us all on and recorded that for our benefit.. then got back changed again , and gone back out for a night out on the town??? Trying to play is at our own game?? Someone must know..
Actually he’s probably snoozing away on with his comfort blanket (hoosecoat) the wee old man he is
Do u think because he doesn’t read here
that he’s gone for a freshen up for a go on the marching powder (yeah right) he’s having us all on and recorded that for our benefit.. then got back changed again , and gone back out for a night out on the town??? Trying to play is at our own game?? Someone must know..Actually he’s probably snoozing away on with his comfort blanket (hoosecoat) the wee old man he is
Highly unlikely hen, back in yer ain laneHawld on a minute...
Do u think because he doesn’t read here
Actually he’s probably snoozing away on with his comfort blanket (hoosecoat) the wee old man he is
Just got home and caught up on his stories.
Why does Derek look like he's auditioning for the fly in those massive duck off shades
Why is there just three of them on the night out?.
He's made it sound like it was a get together with several people, or is this a warm up for tomorrow?!.
And now hes back at the hotel?. Mario you certainly know how to party, you arse wipe!
Why does Derek look like he's auditioning for the fly in those massive duck off shades
Why is there just three of them on the night out?.
He's made it sound like it was a get together with several people, or is this a warm up for tomorrow?!.
And now hes back at the hotel?. Mario you certainly know how to party, you arse wipe!
Your night was definitely better than beakys hen
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He’s fast asleep, he’s not liking posts on his birthday post so ayeHawld on a minute...
Do u think because he doesn’t read here
Actually he’s probably snoozing away on with his comfort blanket (hoosecoat) the wee old man he is
Am in back of a taxi cos them aperols have knocked me oot a tell you, am lookin at this squinting with one eye open, don’t know which lane the fucker is swerving into
He’s away to bed cos he’ll need to be up for 6am to wash the Amore shite aff the hotel bed sheets. Hannah will be driving him to Paisley to put 2 washings on, and then back to the hotel to put the sheets on before check out at 11 
sorry…
sorry…
where’s the goochie belt he said he was going to wear……………Attachments
Don’t you mean bespoke knock off Gucci belt?
ETA - I’ve just remembered his fake Cartier love bracelet too. He’s one sad bastard
He's getting a bit of a gut on him for someone who can lose weight just like that *clicks fingers*
Am dying ma lovelies, have introduced Marion to one of my friends and she's absolutely pissed herself tonight especially at his slippers at 9pm and his ring door bell. She also can't understand a word he says and said his flat looks like a grey prison. Happy birthday 
Mario
Mario 
Pahahaha mad Marion had checked into his hotel got aw dolled up for his boujee bespoke birthday night oot and had the whole night oot aw before id even finished ma shift bring it in with a bang my arse, the only bang was his beak hitting the pillow at 10:02pm 
bring it in with a bang my arse, the only bang was his beak hitting the pillow at 10:02pm 
Why did he tan his ankles then wear white socks that hides them?
I’ll get back in ma ain Laine - he took them aff
My 7yo has the same PlayStation Tshirt as Delboy. Probs the same size too
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There bleeping needs to be for the build up he has created fur us aww, nae balloons to wave aboot like a loony, am thoroughly feeling anti climaxed wae this offering , am away to complain tae Karen at the front desk...so aye
Marion has been up gutting the hotel room since 6am, pass it on!
On reflection wee Deek looks like he was playing dress up with those sunglasses, bless him 
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