Cleaning with Mario #38 All the lip balms in the land but his crusty lips are dry as sand

[laynelo_]

I miss him too. Especially when I’ve had a drink. He just goes so well with a bottle of wine in the evening.

This thread is the absolute best when you’re drunk especially when you know you’ve been on the lethal aperol spritz.

 

[twilightgarden]

Hi lovelies, cannae stay and chat, too busy livin ma best life’s! I’m good! I’m well! I’m abzalootly fine. Tunsa luv. TG XxX mwah!

 

[menopausalmargrit]

Good news ma lovelies a pic just posted and it looks like Paisley's Posh n Becks are still an item. Phew What a relief!

Pish and Boak more like!

 

[DrinkGinSaveWater]

I'm sure going into work at the cop shop with two phones won't raise any badly tattooed eyebrows.

I bet he calls it his work phone too

 

[Stealingstyle]

Aye in a weird way he has influenced me tae ma lovelies, ye see, I hudny heard of this Aperol Spritzer malarkey that was talked aboot a few weeks ago. I know ?? where have a been you ask?? I've been a hard Chardonnay drinker since the 90s and never deviated away from it apart from the prosecco now and again often having a wee pink one just to be fancy. So aye was in morrisons and Aperol was on offer so saturday night dug out my fancy glass, got ma self awe cosy poured myself a wee spritzer and aye it was awe right then just finished a wee bottle chardonnay just to see if the wee aperitif spritzer worked so I can tick a box noo thats me be influenced by our our Marion. Who would have though it.

 

[TheNiceBeardMan]

I also thought his glasses were snapped hahahaha. Fuckinghell man them lips, he needs to star drinking more! And I don't mean iron brew or mothers day special mimosas or even aperol and lemos. He needs straight up water and gallons of it. Would help his exeeeeema too. Larry the lizard called, he wants his dry skin back monzaloid.

 

[BoujeeBabe]

Hello ma lovelies!

Avv spent the whole morning going through ma inbox, outbox, dog toy box and shake it all aboot box as avv had tuns and tuns o messages asking if ahm awkay, and I am, I'm absolutely fan dabby dozey, hens - so ahh will git back to yis as soon as I can - am spemding he afternoon in town as it's ma day awf, so will be living ma best lyf, and will reply when ahh have the time and nawt before because you only have one lyf! ONE LYF, ma lovelies, and you need to spine bright and live your best life's and ahm nawt gan to waste it responding to you peasants, sorry ma gorjuss hens.... ma time is ma time and ahh will rise again!

Tuns a love mwah mwah

 

[twilightgarden]

@menopausalmargrit I’ve always chanted you oan fae the rooftops hen and am so happy you’ve reached this milestone! 2! Years!
As always am late to the party and all the good gifts are gone.
I gift you the biggest tattie heart and tonsa luv mwah mwah

Nothin else tae tell yeez, so aye and so forth X x x x TG

 

[adgifted]

Hello ma lovelies, just checking in on my tattle troll phone. It’s an absolute staypul to have two phones noo so ah can just switch aff and nae worry about comin oot ma laine so aye. Ats wit it is. Ave got two phones noo cos ah jist cannae keep up wae they messages aww the time. I’m naw here tae live ma life fur tattle. Absolutely not. Ah make ma rules and that’s wit ah dae. So aye. Im gonna switch aff and put ma other phone in ma bespoke side table fae danyell and just rise up. Ah will rise up. Rest assured ah am. Am 100% tae masel and ah will rise up. So aye. Here ah am. Tons a love

If I were him I wouldn’t be advertising I have two iPhones on me in his area. He’ll be mugged for crack money quicker than you can flush the loo in his overcrowded bathroom!

They’ll need to get in passed the ring doorbell first mind. Nothing but class in Casa Bespoke Staypul ma lovelie.

 

[Babybail93]

Ma lovelies, do you think he's thought "d'you know whit, I'm shaving it aw aff and becoming a skinheid" or has he been looking at plugs a la Elton John?

Could you imagine if he returns from his strop with a full head of hair, like Annie the orphan? Completely different colour, but he dissnae mention it

 

[PeachesLove]

FFS I can't deal with his shit! He's as bad as those that check in to a doctors or hospital on FB saying nowt or with a teary emoji to gain the 'what's up hun' posts' then the next post is all happy and normal. What age are you!! Get a fckn grip and grow the fck up!!

i’ll PM you hun, don’t want to say on here xxx

 

[TheNiceBeardMan]

The thing is. He's not actually off Instagram is he??? He's been on liking posts and reading messages. No doubt he's spent time scrolling as well. Technically not off Instagram. just not posting shite atm. We know how it works monsteria

 

[Dawn Dayn]

Who the fuck told him he suits those Minnion glasses?

Harry Potter and the bed sit of Doom.

 

[Butthatsnoneofmybusiness]

Another classic for you tattlers.

 

[allforthegram]

Well ma lovelies I knew it had been quiet on the marzipan front for a while, but I couldn’t understand why….
The wee little shite blocked me!!

so I’m gonnae sit down get some class and criss and joos, spine bright and catch up wiv yous funny bastards
Mwah mwah spine bright

 

[Poptart]

I was talking to someone earlier about a company. I actually said the words "that's not what they do and they need to stay in their own lane"
Ma lovelies I've been Mario'd

 

[Anti-influencer]

Mario was just casually wandering about my dream last night I'd have preferred Freddy Krueger

Did he try to feed you stovies and boiled bolognese?

 

[Stealingstyle]

Ma lovelies he was spotted alive in well in the Dargavel area confirmed sighting.

 

[mrsbucket]

Ma lovelies are you all okay?! Pure worried that this thread has come to a screeching halt. We are needing a wee dose of Mario’s stovies to act as a laxative to get things moving again!!!! Anyways hope yer aw fine, absolootley fine. Miss yoos

Ma lovelie am FINE abzolutely fine but Tattle is naw ma joab. Ma joab is ma joab and ma Tattle platform is just something that has been bestowed upon me. I would tell youse aw what I've been up tae and where I'm going but I don't want there to be stampede of people rushing to meet me. So aye! Tattie hearts to youse aw please keep living your lives as you should mwah mwah

 

[menopausalmargrit]

I’ve also seen two cleaning pages putting dettol in their air diffusers. I’ve never fancied my house smelling like a hospital ward but each to their own.