Happy Friday how are we youse all, ahm fine ahm fine... its Friday and im just in the mood for the wee felt haired scrotal sack .
Mwah mwah from ma prolapsed cats hole lips xx
Mwah mwah from ma prolapsed cats hole lips xx
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How on earth did he take that pic and think ooh I look fab, and post it. HOW.
It’s the sort of look I do when I look in the fridge on the second day of my diet. “A cheeky chocolate bar at the back of the fridge... don’t mind if I do! Ooo! Cheeky!”How on earth did he take that pic and think ooh I look fab, and post it. HOW.
It's my face when I've tasted something rank and try to pretend it was nice. The hair though, fucks sake.
Can't wait for the media wall taking a foot off the width of that tiny room.
Anybody remember Gimme Gimme when Linda thinks she's drop dead gorgeous and all the men want her, but in reality she's a bit stupid and unfortunate looking...well that is literally Mario lolHow on earth did he take that pic and think ooh I look fab, and post it. HOW.
That hair could have ya eye ouuut ma lovelies!
Afternoon lads. I've just updated an accident report at work and put the "person is absolutely fine now"..... M is infiltrating my use of the English language. Friday potato hearts to you all
Are you cutting your own hair ma lovelie.
My blind dug could cut my hair with her hind legs and it would be far superiorAre you cutting your own hair ma lovelie.
I wish he’d do a ‘before and after‘ of his hair. One before the hair mask and one after.
I wish he would do a before and after of his new TV monstrosity and show the before and after foot fall. I reckons he will need arrow pointers on the carpet with some "one way" signs
I see the lip balms are working. As an advert for mouth clap
Forgot to add dem lips I think idk I'm a bit drunkard
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Look! You can buy Marios lips in chocolate, I wonder if this is what he has bought Derek for his birthday? 
Right, this is getting beyond a joke now. Does Marion not know we are waiting here with baited breath for a wee update? Do we think he has embarked on his lounge journey??
Maybe the use of SS’esque leaves on his stories means he’s trying to hitch his wagon to her now seeing as Hinch ignores him now?
Maybe the use of SS’esque leaves on his stories means he’s trying to hitch his wagon to her now seeing as Hinch ignores him now?
Look! You can buy Marios lips in chocolate, I wonder if this is what he has bought Derek for his birthday?
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Wish my brain was an etch a sketch and I could shake it off xHay ma lovelie
youse know he'll be back tomorrow, moaning his head off, washing on display. 
Morning M
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If I ever go missing and the police look at my photos and search history, Mario will be arrested. If he ever goes missing, I will be arrested. True story.
Pmsl literally. I delete my browser history just in case
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I'm having a purge this weekend.
Lovelies, I wanted to come here to let you all know wee Mario is ABSOLOOTLEH FINE! He was seen strutting his stuff in the supermarket tonight with his minion in tow. How did we know it was him? Because he is absoluteh exhempt fae wearin a mask ma lovelies! I was in the area to help my friend with childcare as her mum is in hospital, and jumped in to pick up a few essentials and was greeted by that ugly mug!
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