Mario really needs to get some help with his make up, he's forgotten his neck for a start. He reminds me of the make up counter lady on the fast show
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If my other half hoovered at 6am I would punch them in the clackers. (Thank you JessicaF for that word!)
Dear God, that makeup
brock buting ? Is that the shade he's wearing, or was he trying to say block button?
He's not opinionated? He's always positive?
Dear God, that makeup
brock buting ? Is that the shade he's wearing, or was he trying to say block button?He's not opinionated? He's always positive?
He’ll just block you, won’t let you explain yourself. Christ he really rates himself. Imagine begging ‘Mario please don’t block me, I can explain’ 
gobshite.
gobshite.Yes Melv, we all chat tit on here about you because we are soooooooooo jellus innit. We all just wish we could only get to be in the same room so we.could absorb just a tiny bit of greatness that emanates from your sheer beeeyoootifoool soul... bleep.
I for one am 100% jealous, I'm desperate for that anorexic horse with grey teeth look. I've also always lived in hope I might be suffocated by excessive hoarding of diamante tat and potentially get a respiratory condition from all the tit I spray everywhere. I'm also a bit jealous I haven't achieved the 'dead pink cat under tree' look
I know I've failed at life; I'm not on a journey with my eyebrows or teeth, so never get to pass poor struggling small businesses on the road that need me to accept their gifts so I can tell my sheep that I love the tat. *sobs*.
I don't have strangler fingers to point at an excess of cleaning products, and I don't slowly poison my pets with a fug of conflicting chemical aromas. *sobbing more now, mascara everywhere, I can't be 'classy' and 'sassy' like Martin*
I really need to start telling strangers that I don't have anything to say, and practice different face filters and my lip-synching.
Thank you Martin, I really needed you to tell me that I'm jealous and envious of your life.
Nah....get real Martin, you cockwomble, you are the equivalent of getting in a lift after someone has farted and the doors have closed.
I don't have strangler fingers to point at an excess of cleaning products, and I don't slowly poison my pets with a fug of conflicting chemical aromas. *sobbing more now, mascara everywhere, I can't be 'classy' and 'sassy' like Martin*
I really need to start telling strangers that I don't have anything to say, and practice different face filters and my lip-synching.
Thank you Martin, I really needed you to tell me that I'm jealous and envious of your life.
Nah....get real Martin, you cockwomble, you are the equivalent of getting in a lift after someone has farted and the doors have closed.
I thought it was hilarious when he said yesterday or this morning on his stories 'don't worry I am fine...'
I wasn't worried at all. He thinks he's the dogs balls doesn't he
I wasn't worried at all. He thinks he's the dogs balls doesn't he
I'm so jElUs of his orangey face and white neck.
Who was slagging him off, might give them a follow.Who dared to ag off queen Mario?, saw him saying he's not bothered, when he is so clearly raging
Thankfully we have Melvin, he is our king.
What an utter wick!
He is just so annoying.
And what’s with that awful jumper he wears. My dad who is 76 dresses better than him.
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I think I speak for us all here that we are mostly jealous because we don’t have the ability to mangle a sentence in that special way only Martin can.
My dad is dead and went in his coffin dressed far more trendilyWho was slagging him off, might give them a follow.
Thankfully we have Melvin, he is our king.
What an utter wick!
He is just so annoying.
And what’s with that awful jumper he wears. My dad who is 76 dresses better than him.
Hello my lovelies, happy Saturday, mwah mwah mwah. *rubs nipple/shoulder/chest, whatever it is he does when he's talking*
Nope, still not jealous
Nope, still not jealous
He just said hes got so much clothes he’s had to ...FLATPACK them ...wtf ...he tries so hard to articulate that he always ends up sounding and looking like a complete d**k ..Marty boy If you have so much clothes why do you always end up wearing your papas jumpers or your nephews white tracksuit 
Awwww , love Mario’s Mummy xx
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I’m still laughing at this btw!ACTUAL LOL
I’m still laughing at this btw! raaaynnneee whir ur yaaayyyy
Derek on his phone completely ignoring getting prodded by Mr strangler fingers. He looks so pissed off...... #reeeegin
Vote for Derek! I love itDerek on his phone completely ignoring getting prodded by Mr strangler fingers. He looks so pissed off...... #reeeegin
That's a bit unfair, he used to wear the faded to pink was red pyjama top everyday too! Now he wears the blue one. Oh and don't forget his grandad dressing gown that he does his cleaning in!He just said hes got so much clothes he’s had to ...FLATPACK them ...wtf ...he tries so hard to articulate that he always ends up sounding and looking like a complete d**k ..Marty boy If you have so much clothes why do you always end up wearing your papas jumpers or your nephews white tracksuit
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