Cleaning with Mario #24 Where is that pavement, where’s his Shark do do do do

[NOID-phal]

The faux chandelier

It's Art. The wee goblin is trolling us.
I'm using words like wee now, never been to Scotland.
The self obsession of the huns is mesmerising, awful, imagine talking about yourself at length. Telling hunners of strangers your feelings, and that you're thick as shit/not academic.

 

[Cagayu]

A bauble stand?
I’ll save you the trouble “lovelies” it’s a banana tree stand for holding bananas on. Go to the range and they have them for cheap

Even comes in a wood effect

 

[WookieCookie]

Glad to see he got hame OK after being out in that bawbag wind. I had visions of him getting his tights blown aff and flying doon Causeyside Street so aye mwah mwah mwah

 

[Noseycow2020]

I don’t think anyone in Scotland calls it a vacuum we call it a hoover, regardless of what brand it is! Maybe a central Scotland thing, but no one I know calls it a vacuum.

Was going to say it must be a Scottish thing I don’t know anyone in my life that’s ever called it a vacuum it’s definitely a Hoover here

 

[Maggie28]

My eyes!! Jesus Christ!!
Didn’t think his flat could look anymore shit. Then he whacks up his tree.
I wish he wouldn’t talk, I have to turn him down on my phone. My dog always barks when he hears him.

 

[Kaydeelaydee]

Spoiler alert. He mentioned Dunelm but that it was too small. He could've got 2 for half the price he's paid for his crafty supplies. Reckon it's this.

 

[menopausalmargrit]

An a called her ma big legs 11. An her Maw put on her electric blanket & big fluffy covers, and we hid oor pints a water at each side a the bed an we giggled Aw night.

It was just the funniest night ever ma lovelies.

Fuck me he talks ten tonne of shite & his eyes darting off to the left everytime he spoke confirms he’s a fucking compulsive liar!

 

[NOID-phal]

There's been a MUURRRRDERRR! Of the English language, in the scent Scottish bespoke dialect.

 

[Laura VanderBooben]

My guess is Mario called shark in an attempt to get a freebie. “ hello ma lovely this is the one and only cleaning with Mario. I’m calling for my free hoover please” when they told him to do one he threw a strop and Derek purchased a new one to shut him the fuck up so he can watch the football in peace.

And someone should tell Mario to stop running over the fucking wires while hoovering

Mario: *Picks up Phone, scissors in hand after cutting the Hoover wire* Hello ma lovelies how are we all This is Cleaning with Mario *checks self in mirror*


Now then take a seat and get some class and listen here you little bitch. If didn't already now no by now I'm Mrs Hinch's bestie on the gram or Hinchy as I like to call her. If youse don't gift ma a new Hoover Ise tell all ma hunners and hunners of fans , that I built from the grun up in case you didn't now naw no its me, me ME all about ME MARIO! I will tell them to buy VAX instead aye and so forth nae debates Thanks hen mwah mwah xx

Person in the other end: Sir you are through to James how can I help you?

Mario: *disrobes* What are you wearing? I'm in ma red leggings...





...P.S. I feel it's important to state I know the difference between, now ,no and know it was for the Mario effect .Although after watching Mierdre's videos for so long I wouldn't blame anyone for needing a dictionary ma lovelies

 

[twilightgarden]

Love a new thread!
I’ve got my hoosecowat on and some crisssss, pickled onions and plain Ritz biscuits on my naecheese board.

 

[Booboo76]

So we’re all in agreement then, his Christmas decorations are shit
I’ve just started making my granddaughters Xmas eve box to match the one i made my grandson, because they’re 4yrs old and 17 months old not grown arse men ffs, how ridiculous

 

[Giselle]

Here we go, “talking_shite_with_mario”.

That’s got to be next thread title

 

[Laura81]

My friend worked in debenhams and knew him from there, she said he never used to speak the the way he does now, she did say he was tiny though

I've worked with this girl for over a year now and just found out she knew mario a couple weeks ago so obvs I had to ask her to try find out where he worked.

 

[D2theyawn]

And I’ve made it. Been off ma tits wi COVID right enough. Reading this thread and the previous one I wasn’t sure if I was fuckin hallucinating but I was certainly dreaming about maid Marion and wee Deek. I’m pretty sure I also had a convo with Rab the resident rat living above oor Marion . Rab has no clue where he works either.

So all that Christmas stuff actually happened. He actually decorated two blush pink stockings and made a fucking centre piece. That did happen . And made Christmas Eve boxes. It is still October isn’t it. I’m scared to ask the hubby. He’s already scared of me just now.

My God. The past two weeks have been like a fuckin 90’s come doon but I still managed a wee chuckle at all your posts.

ah hope yer feeling better hen! Sounds like you had a terrible time being no weel and then to suffer further misery at the maid antics on the gram. Ah been no weel masel, wee kidney infection ma luvlie, no the normal kind though, this is a boujie rare bespoke kidney infection that’s never been discovered before! In actual fact it’s so rare and bespoke that the doaktors are going to be taking swabs from Chernobyl, sorry a mean marians flat to blast me with the chemicals to see if they cure it. Ahm sure it’ll be fine though ma luvlie ahm just soldiering through it the best I can on this dayn of dawn. It’ll no be long until the maid posting ma photie oan his Grid asking for donations to his go fund me. Ahm share of it.Oanyhow ma luvlie I hope you’ve fully recovered and feel free to post this wee message oan yer grid to show how we’re aw concerned aboot ye. Spine bright hen

 

[Kaydeelaydee]

Another golden nugget from last night. "I've got a mooth. I can honnell (handle)masel"

Melvin going full tilt at attempting to tear strips off someone could go one of two ways (or his attempt at this expression, "could go wan way wae me").

1. His bespoke and boujee mastery of the language means that you would only be able to tell he was unhappy with you by the expression on his face and the tone of his voice. With the exception of a few expletives, the rest would be unintelligible. Result: you would be unable to feel properly chastened or be able to respond as you would legitimately have no idea what had just been levelled at you.

2. When sufficiently angered, Melvin would rant in a pitch detectable only to the blind Nikita dugs of the world. Result: you would be unable to feel properly chastened or be able to respond as you would legitimately have no idea what had just been levelled at you.

Bawbag.

 

[TheNiceBeardMan]

The nutcrackers in blush pink. Just pink would suffice monzo. They were literally just pink.

 

[Maggie28]

I’ve just seen his attempt to make a chess board!
I am as totally lost for words, and thats rare!
Please don’t tell me that pink stuff on the end which looks like the plastic bits you peel off the back of plasters, please don’t tell me that’s meant to be ham!
My fucking dog wouldn’t eat that and she has eaten her own shit. (Don’t ask, something about being the runt of the litter) it’s been dealt with
Then he has what looks like a yogurt pot, some ritz crackers, sliced bits of cheese. Which I bet is mild!
Some pretzels and a token bit of veg, which I bet he didn’t eat.
He has to have had Covid? He has no taste whatsoever.
I am actually officially offended by his cheeseboard and there should be some kind of law against it.

Of course it’s all his no other fucker would want to eat that shite, Nae debates!

 

[weebee]

5 days for that? I honestly can’t understand what has taken him 5 days, almost a week, to set up. It’s shite.

 

[SharksSharksSharks]

I'm fairly new to Mario - I've tried to read all the threads but unfortunately I've strayed oot of my boujee lain to go and slag off leggings. Is this pretty much it?
He used to work in Debenhams but goat made redundant and has a new mystery Joab.
Deek smokes a lot, works in M&S warehouse and seems ok?
His cat hates him
They don't seem to do much socially
Some wax melt based drama?

 

[menopausalmargrit]

Oh ma lovelies it looks like the chat has taken a downward turn, it’s put me right aff ma toasted pan breed and air fryer hash broons.

Thank god it’s a new day of dawn today and av no got any work for 2 days. Youse aw know what that means, zoflora martinis for breakfast. Ching Ching ma lovelies.

Spine bright and keep chanting each other oan. Youse have got this.