Cleaning with Mario #24 Where is that pavement, where’s his Shark do do do do

[Kikini Bamalam]

God I so hope it's all true! Dream job my arse! I can just see the desk sarge give our Melv a withering look, as Melv sashays past him with his mop, singing Higher love and potato hearting at him

 

[Rocketllama]

Mario: not everyone on the internet has the same opinion or will agree on everything

Well melvin I can safely say everyone here agrees on one thing and that is that you son are a prize fud

 

[Noseyrosie62]

The police cleaning job makes sense why he hasn’t gobbed off on insta about it (apart from the fact it isn’t really his dream job)

he probs had to sign a confidentiality disclosure agreement. If you clean in any security or government buildings that usually is the case.

Also could you imagine Mario being like yeah I clean the local Bobby station and getting targeted by criminals and blackmailed for his tinsel tat to dish dirt on the police etc

 

[WookieCookie]

Has he been up Barshaw Park with his hobbit axe cutting doon trees...... So aye ma lovelies here's ma wreath it's going to be full of wee bugs and beasties but so aye it'll be utterly bespoke way its ain scent mwah mwah mwah

 

[Laura VanderBooben]

That comment HAS to be a wind up, surely? @Kikini Bamalam was it your handiwork?
The real giveaway was “I’d buy one” It looks like it was made by Stevie Wonder FFS!

you should read the responses to his Question Has to be a Tattle reader taking the piss ?

 

[Onlinedetective]

How the fuck can he eat all that cheese, processed meat and garlic dip if he has super sensitive ibs where he falls through the flairboards?

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I suspect IBS isn’t the issue... I had bum fun once and I couldn’t sit right for a week...

 

[MaidMarion]

Nae patience for Marion and his histrionics the dae ma lovelies
Does he realise that Fabulosa have sent this box of shite to many other cleaning accounts in exchange for promotion? They haven’t done it out of the goodness of their hearts. Why is he reading that letter aloud, voice catching in his throat, like it’s been addressed to him personally? You’ve been sent some cleaning products to the value of about £10 hun, you’re not accepting an Academy Award

Straight on to say exactly this! You beat me to it He genuinely thinks they've thought of him personally, I can't believe a grown man has no grasp on reality at all, I don't mean to be rude, but I really think there's something mentally wrong with him. He's maybies just a fanny tho

 

[Babooshka]

Wee Derek must be best pals with the provvy wuman so aye mwah mwah mwah

Provvy wummin . They don’t make wummin like that any mer. I think they drive around now If they still exist but lets go back in time a bit. For those who don’t know a company called The Provident loaned you money at extortionate rates, legalised loan sharkery for want of a better phrase and they employed mostly women to collect the money and they would come to your home weekly and mark your book up that you’d paid.

A provvy wummin was a rare breed of wummin. Usually harder than a coffin nail and who walked the streets of schemes, on their own, mostly on a Friday afternoon/night to collect said money cause that’s when people got paid. The timing was crucial cause the husband might try n go straight to the pub and get pished. Woe betide anybody who didnae answer the door to the provvy wummin. She usually sold other shite on the side (well my mum was a Glasgow provvy wummin in the early 80’s and she did so aye). I think somebody tried to mug my mum once. Mum got a hefty fine.

anyhoo tattie hearts to any provvy men/wummin still doing this job. Does it still exist? Our Marion wouldnae make it as a provvy wummin would he. He would be chapping the doors and running like fuck depending on who answered. The poor mite would get mugged. He might need to employ the big blind dug as a boady guard while he collects the money lol.

spine bright ma luvlies. Great memories from the 80’s again. Love it mwah mwah mwah

 

[Poptart]

These insta wankers piss me off when they make out they are doing a public service for being on Instagram. If it's that bad/time consuming/not all it's cracked up to be just fuck off!!!! No-one gives a shit! Wallopers.
Truth is they love the attention and the freebies. Mario can pretend he doesn't want Hinch level insta fame but he quite clearly does and throws the odd wobbler and goes quiet when he realises he's not getting it.

 

[Kikini Bamalam]

Hello ma lovelies, how are you all? I decided that today, on this new dayn of dawn of a new England lockdown I would make you all a wee treat to help you get through this month. I know that we are all gutted that Melvin won't be able to regale us all with his hauls from the shops, so hopefully this will make up for it all

 

[GiftedNotFree]

Honestly I’ve seen landfill sites that look less cluttered than Mario’s gaff.

 

[Noseycow2020]

So I see that a lot of the Glasgow grammers are joining forces to promote a brilliant Christmas charity, led by the one that had the recent window journey. Has set up a Just Giving page and the slogan "help a kid for a quid" and they all put it on their stories last night. So far so great and they've already exceeded their donations target.

But I can't help wondering why Melvin isn't a part of this, particularly as he's aw aboot Christmas and his following is bigger than the rest of them combined? Not invited or turned the invitation down? Or missed the call as his outbox is permanently "unindated"?
Waiting to see if he'll give it a shout out seeing as a few of his favourites are involved.

Probably told them to fuck off he’s at work and is waiting for it to be framed before he’ll join in

 

[Laura VanderBooben]

OH-MY-GOSH

Why would you torture yourself with this? Just for a shout out from Manbagzda ?

 

[Cagayu]

“Homemade curry” adding water to a Mayfair curry powder doesn’t count as homemade you twat

 

[TheNiceBeardMan]

Just why?

“A dae aw ma touch-points twice a week, aye so ah dae thum aw the time”

WTF touch points? I am thinking he is getting the bespoke phrase of “touch-points” fae his new joab. My work have employed more cleaners to come and do extra cleaning of all touch points though-out the day. However, I work in a school where hundreds of kids with manky hands touch said points throughout the day - not in a polly pocket flat with 2 grown men.

So aye, lovin the touch point chat Marion. Another phrase to add to the list

Also, he was cleaning the touch points you touch with your hands.... As opposed to the touch points you touch with your knob or something ..

 

[BespokeBiatch]

Who else is tempted to answer “Derek” to his question about if we wanted him to release something what would it be?

Sorry ma lovelie I never seen you’d wrote this before I jumped in and commented.

I’ll stay in ma ain lane x

 

[Doodlebug71]

All the prisoners/offenders will be getting doused in fabulosa ma luvlees so aye

 

[shadyessex33]

................ Except my Joab........ So Aye

 

[shadyessex33]

This is the best I’ve seen him look in ages

 

[DilysMcGillis]

A breakthrough at last, ma lovelies! Ma joab is jist ma joab, ma lovelies, it diznae matter where ah work Aye it fuckin’ does, Meirdre, and we won’t stop until we know the location, your job title & your shift pattern There could be some tremendous material for Tattle to accompany the discovery I’ve been chortling away at this thread tonight He’s such a tit