TAPAS ON THE TAPAS TABLE!!!! 
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arse!
Trying to steal his sisters boujee bespoke buffet queen title with his wee tapasssss spread
Also want some chicken wi yer salt Melvin hen?
Also want some chicken wi yer salt Melvin hen?
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All that time we were mocking him for the non-existent exxzeeeema, and there it is, flaked off all over his fish n' chips. 
OMG! He never fails to give us so much “content”. Oor tattle jurnehhh is so boujee ma lovelies 
In Melvin's mind he is classy, like Kim Kardashian or the GC, when in reality he is just a pointless ned who thinks he's something better than the rest of us mortals
No crisss or joosss though.
The joooss and crisss are kept for the boujee bedside tables. Karmer for you for no remembering that.
He’s not even good enough for a party Suzie, but instead has three wee bowls on a bit of MDF. He really is a fuckwit.
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No wonder they've got bad teeth.
I have a vision of Currys Red Kola n Spicy Bikers 
I bet he still gets bottles of joooss from the alpine van.I have a vision of Currys Red Kola n Spicy Bikers
Not knocking it, Aw those E numbers got me through my child hood.
He could ask for a shot of Speeonjay's one, apparently it's a whopper
Hope to god they spill something on that tacky boujee table.TAPAS ON THE TAPAS TABLE!!!!
17 odd dots today in a whiney nasal drawl re his signature that he wrote (how many times) and his bespoke heart...*cough* diamond that's semtemental to him. He could of raved about it last week but it was Hannah's time but now is HIS time to talk about it.
NOW.....he wants a bairn. I can't cope
Deek needs an intervention!Me too! Loved a Pineappleaid. Others got Struthers.I bet he still gets bottles of joooss from the alpine van.
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The only reason he wants a kid is
a) for content.
b) for the shopping excuses. Oooour Thor needs a new bib, better get to B&M stat.
c) for the attention.
a) for content.
b) for the shopping excuses. Oooour Thor needs a new bib, better get to B&M stat.
c) for the attention.
He can barely even cope with own life let alone a kid. Let's face it he sees himself as a child they way he says I've been doing adult paperwork and can't even cross the road soooo 
His content the last few days has been . He was making me laugh so much this morning with his melt journee. Then the tap-ass feast this evening. He is an nasty piece of work at times but today he just made me laugh*.
* I was laughing at him, not with him.
. He was making me laugh so much this morning with his melt journee. Then the tap-ass feast this evening. He is an nasty piece of work at times but today he just made me laugh*.* I was laughing at him, not with him.
Curries red kola is one of my favourite drinks, and v hard to come by if you're not in Ayrshire!I have a vision of Currys Red Kola n Spicy Bikers
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