Cleaning with Mario #20 The Real Hoosecoat of Paisley

[Cagayu]

 

[Exhausted Pigeon]

Tough choice in a warzone. Do you want your battlefield to smell nice or the area made safe?

 

[Cagayu]

might have to give @Jeaniepeanie her last thread title

 

[Badaboom]

Lads, lads, lads! It seems that Melv HAS got himself a tiny wee bespoke cleaning trolley. Don’t know why he hasn’t shown it to us. A wee hobbit sized trolley perfect for the wee hobbit sized ‘man’

 

[Cagayu]

He would defo have a clueless pen. @Cagayu - another pic awaiting your bougie bespoke artistry MWAH
View attachment 244582

 

[Cagayu]

That's okay!

And also, it's a yesssss please from me to @Cagayu on a boujee, bespoke masterpiece!!

Mario’s old teef

 

[DilysMcGillis]

Is he planning on getting a job ? He does seem to shop a lot for someone who was made redundant? Is it dirt cheap to rent a council flat in Scotland? Is he planning to sit in a dressing gown all day getting off his tits on fumes ? Sorry for all the questions !

And what’s with the peach cushions on the dark grey cheapo sofa ?

Now, now, ma lovelie, you’re new here so I’m no’ gonna go as mental as Meirdre does after a night oan the vodka, nor will I declare karmer on your arse, but l’ll explain this to you only wahnst:
The peach cushions are blush pink
The salmon (bathmat) rug is also blush pink
The pink lamp is grey
The purple sofas are also grey
The black sign above his “beauty” table is, despite being black as the night, charcoal grey. I arriterate, charcoal grey.
If you can’t accept this simple set of rules wi’ nae debates ah’m no’ really sure Meirdre’s page is fur you, and so forth, so aye.

 

[ThreeSteaksPam]

Add coffee to the list of things that make Marion very VERY HIGHLY unwell along with:

• Every brand of Fabric softener known to man
• Crossing the road
• Job hunting
• Nikita dugs
• The Sky man
• The postman
• A spare millimetre of flair space
• Leaving the greater Paisley postcode
• Being approached by fans
• Christmas shopping in December

 

[Hakes]

Hi, I just wanted to post, because she was active on this thread, that jeaniepeanie sadly passed away a couple of weeks ago. I'm sure some of you were friendly with her so I just wanted to let you all know. Guaranteed she's up there hate watching Mario.

 

[Kikini Bamalam]

Right that's it you bespoke boujee lot, we are going to have to organise MELVINFEST. An annual festival of all things bespoke, plush and karmic where we can all meet up, compare ashtray memories and drink juss while worshipping Paisley's finest. We can dress up in our leggings and bespoke pink t shirts. Our anthem will be Higher love. Spud hearts to you all

 

[NOID-phal]

Exclusive reveal of baby Dymond Dereketta Johnstone-McKnight

 

[Exhausted Pigeon]

Treated himself for his birthday?? His birthday was weeks ago and how many times doEs he and beggy treat themselves, fuckin hell a treat is something you don’t do often. The money these guys spend on a daily basis is insane, he’s got no job and beggy dishes out 2p’s

How dare you. He's in a good place financially, doesn't splurge on unnecessary items and saves regularly. Karmar on youse ass hen

 

[Be More Pacific]

We are Mel C style (kind of) high kicking our way into thread #20 for our favourite unemployed midget!

Most liked thread suggestion was @Exhausted Pigeon's Mario Kart (if Manbagzda ever got himself a Hinch style trolley) but he hasn't so we are 'parking' that for another day *groan*

So, the next best suggestion was this one from @GreatBritishFakeOff which was only made today and has scored an impressive 33 likes, plus it made me laugh, so that's the winner. MA PAGE, MA RULES!!! (or something) Made a slight tweak to make it more Mario-esque. Truly bespoke if you will.

Last thread round up

Going to keep this brief as people are waiting to go to bed but basically Maz had a no fuss, 61 repost and lots of gifts birthday, he still has no job, doesn't appear to be looking for one, he was a nasty, unrepentant gobshite about cleaners, despite running a cleaning account, and has treated himself to a load more shit including a fucking cheeseboard!

Away we go ma lovelies!

 

[Kikini Bamalam]

Such a boujee haircut. Giving me ‘the fear’ (his words) whoever sorts it out why can’t they fade it? Or do you think he shaves it himself but ignores the back because he can’t see it when he’s looking in the mirror. So it doesn’t matter so aye.

The cooncil does his haircut, when they pop round to do the verges. Melvin just goes oot and lays down so they can give him a quick strim, so aye

 

[Kikini Bamalam]

It's definitely a heart. Looks nothing like a diamond at all.

Is it a heart? Could it be a potato heart?

 

[Cagayu]

Don’t forget! Not only was it a “Nikita” dog. It was also a BLIND Nikita dog

Amended.

 

[Exhausted Pigeon]

Look at youse aww chanting each other oan til 3 in the morning. I'm guessing youse aww have a bespoke and rare insomnia and have tried ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING.

So aye..... let's start this day *throws cloth*

 

[shadyessex33]

Fucking hell. This burner is £2.50 from Asda. He’s stuck a Chanel sticker on it! I can smell the wealth from here Moira! You keep being you

 

[Anti-influencer]

Lads, lads, lads! It seems that Melv HAS got himself a tiny wee bespoke cleaning trolley. Don’t know why he hasn’t shown it to us. A wee hobbit sized trolley perfect for the wee hobbit sized ‘man’
View attachment 237507

He will be AWBSAWLOOTELY FUMING that you’ve spotted that. His poor nieces getting a cleaning trolley for Christmas so they can be just like their Uncle Moira

 

[GiftedNotFree]

And Kerry Katona eyes, anxiety through the roof, IBS through the flairboards & super, extra-super HIGHLY sensitive bespoke skin

He’s got RARE skin! Rare! Am no gonnae tell yous again, ma lovlies!

My theory on why Deek isn’t wearing a mask: so that when they’re out in public he can successfully mouth “help me” to strangers because he’s obviously being held against his will in the tat flat.