Cleaning with Mario #13 He can't believe it's not clutter

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I do hope that Derek realises he can do better and dumps his ass like toxic waste. Maz would lose his shit. I do think he treats Derek with little respect or care - just does whatever suits himself and doesn’t seem like there’s any regard for his “partner” (doesn’t seem like a partnership!)
 
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Aw this prick can get to fuck today! I’m absolutely baffled as to why somebody would cook a potato cake in oil, don’t people do them in the toaster like I do or under the grill! honestly that turned my stomach! And I know it’s been said but he’s such a spoiled little bitch he must just sit there moaning to poor derek n he gives in n gets him stuff just for an easy life, poor sod!
 
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Can I just say 'cosy days' (which is usually accompanied by him clutching the grey monstrosity of a hoosecoat around his neck), makes me feel stabby.
Cosy is something I want to be in Autumn and Winter. I want comfy in Spring and summer. But that's our Melv - a man for no seasons!

He did buy him a shiny Trackie - I think it was in the colour white so when they dress like his n his, they fit the colour palette of the tat cave. The pop of pink is introduced by the fact that Melv is a bell end
 
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Don’t want you all hating here but a fried tattie scone on a buttered roll is an absolute delight no tattie scone should be done in the toaster
 
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The cereal dispensers seem to be missing, which is strange given what he fancied this morning was something “not greasy”
Ive an idea... have some fucking cereal!!
 
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Don’t want you all hating here but a fried tattie scone on a buttered roll is an absolute delight no tattie scone should be done in the toaster
Yasss got to fry tattie scone in oil its the only way, on a roll, square sausage, raw onion and tommy k
 
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Don’t want you all hating here but a fried tattie scone on a buttered roll is an absolute delight no tattie scone should be done in the toaster
Fried tattie scone if you're trying to shift a hangover, no tattie scone if you're trying to shift weight
 
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If you’re Scottish, there’s no other way to eat a tattie scone except fried! Yum. But Marion claiming he doesn’t want anything greasy then scoffing that he’s a professional troll, I’m sure.
 
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I've come to bed because I'm hormonal, hungry, missing my parents and feeling pissed aff with everything , so I'm going to try cheering myself up by watching his 101 make up stories, ma lovelies..... so aye!
 
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Who is Siobhan Procurer of Shelves and can we get her into a deprogramming session stat?
 
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Fried tattie scone if you're trying to shift a hangover, no tattie scone if you're trying to shift weight
The fried tattie scones and a wee slice of black pudding are the reason I am now man mountain but still can’t say no

Don’t understand why the need to talk shite and say nothing greasy then shove that in your mouth! Big stodgy roll too!
 
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Jesus Christ.... why in God's name does Mazza need that sheer amount of make up!? He's got like 2 of everything, bloody crazy! The only thing I fancy trying is some Aldi make up, I'd not pay silly prices for high end brands! He's honestly in a boujee, bespoke world of his own!
 
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Prototype candle jar?

Chanel working with Melv then. Good to know.

https://giphy.com/lgn6HaiiwHBXW
Yeah, that was weird. I presume he bought some knock off chanel stickers, maybe from the cereal box woman? He did seem to weirdly skim over that bit though.

I love how you went off, all innocent, to watch his stories. I wished I had time to warn you that you would come back on here all agitated
 
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Haha, aww thank you! I was feeling fed up and annoyed before - now I'm baffled, amused and confused AS WELL!
 
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If I lived below Melvin and watched his 'stories' (which let's face it, everything that comes out of his mouth is fiction) I would be putting in for a new flat pronto.

His 'hoose' is like a real-life version of Buckaroo. It's just going to take one more sparkly grey piece of tat and the whole lot is going to go.
 
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Don’t want you all hating here but a fried tattie scone on a buttered roll is an absolute delight no tattie scone should be done in the toaster
Absolutely.. that's the way my wee granny did it and the way I still do it..
Lots of oil.. no toaster! And I actually do have IBS
 
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The cereal dispensers seem to be missing, which is strange given what he fancied this morning was something “not greasy”
Ive an idea... have some fucking cereal!!
Ah, but he didn’t have any cereal in today, nowhere to keep it, you see
 
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I’ve just sat here pissing myself for the last 10 minutes watching his for the laughs stories, the big bowls, “aye for a fuckin St bernard”, and being chased by a blind “Nikita” say what you like about our Marion but he’s fuckin hilarious
 
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No longer hunners of messages now my lovelies, it’s now thousands all because he shared his make-up.

No Marion, you are just trying to make yourself seem more important. Why, because Hannah no longer needs you to flog her wax melts. She has traded you in for newer models in the name of TDIL.
 
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