It’s taken me a week to catch up on this thread cos I’ve been hard of time with ma joab and ma weans. I tried some bespoke “multi tasking” by reading the thread while on long Teams calls, but ah pure snorted and choked laughing and caused a minor health and safety incident so that had to stop, so aye.
It’s been a wonderful week and nae debates. Swerving out ma lane to list my favourites, a boujie wee “pop of the tops” as oor Mario might say:
5. He took a hairdryer, to a hot country, to a hotel which provides hairdryers, to dry his unique “fade and 80s spike” hybrid which would dry in about 12 seconds.
4. Outfit of the day. Ordering an oxygen canister next time he travels, to help with the laughing fits. The detail, the rambling, the posing, the POLYESTER! And just when you think it can’t get funnier, he beckons wee DD to come in and Speak For Hisself, and describe that days romper suit and choke bag, before staggering about in an effort to show off the sole of his foot.
3. Water baby: goes in pool once. Shows deserted unappealing beach.
2. The Lindsay Grotty monologue, introduced by his faux pressured ‘I’ll do this now and update it later,’ as if he’s under pressure to meet a deadline. Super helpful detail like cleaners clean, here is the bin area, buses go about the island, you can get water, streets have signage, repeats ‘you can’t get lost,’ even though nobody anywhere was watching with immediate fears of getting lost in Lanza.
1. Fine dining: shows pic of boufin greasy caf sausage and beans with a single tinned tomato and a chopped mushroom. Justifies it cos they don’t drink, while showing jugs of sangria and glasses of vodka. Describes restaurant pricing for the hard of thinking: some are dear and some are less dear.
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fur youse.