Made me pish when I read this this morning because when I read it in ‘the wee early hours’ I wiz actually looking after my sisters two month old baby for the first time over night that wiz actually unsettled wae colic
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Ma lovelies it's come to that time oh year when ah unfollow, usually fur his Autumn shite but av clicked early this year due to his upcoming 40th.
Yez huv aw nailed how he'll be, sharing the messages, the gifts, the Hannah surprise visit etc an ah just canny dae it.
If Deek huz planned a surprise party ah'll no follow him ever again as we'll never hear the end oh it.
Ma birthday is the 24th an am huvin a wee quiet dinner wi the OH which is just the way ah want it.
As ah say us Virgos do NOT claim him.
Canny wait tae see the Krystal Chandelier cake
Yez huv aw nailed how he'll be, sharing the messages, the gifts, the Hannah surprise visit etc an ah just canny dae it.
If Deek huz planned a surprise party ah'll no follow him ever again as we'll never hear the end oh it.
Ma birthday is the 24th an am huvin a wee quiet dinner wi the OH which is just the way ah want it.
As ah say us Virgos do NOT claim him.
Canny wait tae see the Krystal Chandelier cake
I'm hoping for a wee 40 balloon boomerang like he had fae his 37th also.I’m buzzin for next weekend henscalling an early bingo on the following possible outcomes so feel free to add
1. Pat Butcher blouse,
2. Pauline fowler cardi
3. Orange makeup and pale neck and filtered to duck selfie showing off his “makeup skills”
4. goochi’s finest shoes
5. fresh “hair don’t” by Nathan Todd
6. Beige food
7. “Boy done good” surprise gift from Deek that Marion told him to buy
8. Fake designer gift (Goochi/Louis Veeeton, Christian Deeeor etc)
9. Cake monstrosity from Krystal Chandelier
10. Hannah Ava May / insta huns “surprise”visit
11. Hunners of messages / reposts from fake pals
12. A wee comma break if Hinch doesn’t send him a message
Just a few guesses
I’m “unsettled” the night lovelies, ie: I can’t sleep.
So I’ve got up for a wee cuppaand some chocolate
I woke up Mr Strictly to ask him to get up and make me a cup, he told me to duck off and rolled over.
Bastard
So I’ve got up for a wee cuppa
I woke up Mr Strictly to ask him to get up and make me a cup, he told me to duck off and rolled over.
Bastard
Keep your power hen, you do you, but am just tae much of a nosey bleep , so ayeMa lovelies it's come to that time oh year when ah unfollow, usually fur his Autumn shite but av clicked early this year due to his upcoming 40th.
Yez huv aw nailed how he'll be, sharing the messages, the gifts, the Hannah surprise visit etc an ah just canny dae it.
If Deek huz planned a surprise party ah'll no follow him ever again as we'll never hear the end oh it.
Ma birthday is the 24th an am huvin a wee quiet dinner wi the OH which is just the way ah want it.
As ah say us Virgos do NOT claim him.
Canny wait tae see the Krystal Chandelier cake
Wonder what his birthday outfit is? Will it be Barbie themed like all the other instacunts 
Fabulous as ever…. More like fabulous as never
Why is he standing like that? Looks like he has a brush up his arse!
Honest tae goad I would expect my 87 year old Grandad to be wearing those pj's.
What a life Mario leads.
The outfit will be one of his school uniform horrors, with a scarf, or some *designer* tshirt horror he's bought in the sale. It'll be too tight with cheap shoes. Someone needs to have a word about the hair, it's beyond parody to have a 90s Karen hairdo.
Wonder if he gets the bank holiday on the 28th? Probably thinks it was put in place just for his 40th
Hay ma lovelies, he's goat a busty week ahead. Ur we being treatit tae a boob job? Martin McKnight, the Caitlin Jenner oaf Beirut.
“Bustiest week”
#Mariosmoobs
#Mariosmoobs
Hay another Sunday where Mario Moon has no plans. No friends, no petty cash left 
Marion's took inspiration from that latest celeb he tried to befriend few months back. Pricey.. Marion off to get himself a pair a GG's hoping to get her attention again.
What a way to wake up on reset Sunday day, bustiest week, am in stitches with that really is something else. Proof read takes 2 seconds. Also. No one cares if you're not going be on your phone but it's lies because you will still have your phone in hand scrolling social media... And tattle
He has hen that's why his hair is like that also etc
Pricey followed him, I wonder if it's cos she wants to use his klarna.Marion's took inspiration from that latest celeb he tried to befriend few months back. Pricey.. Marion off to get himself a pair a GG's hoping to get her attention again.
What a way to wake up on reset Sunday day, bustiest week, am in stitches with that really is something else. Proof read takes 2 seconds. Also. No one cares if you're not going be on your phone but it's lies because you will still have your phone in hand scrolling social media... And tattle
Is he actively trying to increase his illiterate idiot status for the LOL'S or is he just a fucken moron?
And I don't think he has a bustiest week ahead actually working, he's probably decking oot the flat for autumn like the sad sack of shite he is! 
He looks like hes pulling himself offView attachment 2390818
I don’t even know where to start with this… The hair, the eyebrows, the wonky eyes…
Ol wank face! Factual.- Status