Cleaning with Mario #105 Jizz on his face, he’s a big disgrace, waving his snail snot all over the place

[menopausalmargrit]

I saw the button mushroom ornaments and tripped over ma ain feet tae rush here!!!!!

 

[Poptart]

Why is he saying he doesn’t like using brow stuff on holiday because its too hot and humid! Him and Derek have been together 8 9 10 ….fuck knows ….but years and have never been abroad?!
He wasn't even sure what that MAC product was, he had to double check it was bronzer!
Absolute whalloper. It’s embarrassing. 100’s of £ worth of make up and he never goes anywhere!

 

[RubyTuesday39]

I hope nobody actually gives him birthday money and they all buy him tat with 40 on it instead

 

[Popper]

Imagine announcing online that you are guna be shittin yourself later? Defo a bespoke microwave curry he’s been served.

 

[Babybail93]

All that make up for a week of sweating in the sun. Where exactly is he going to wear any of that to in Lanzarote? It’s hardly a big night out island. It’ll be a spag bol in the buffet at 6, then back in the room aw cosy by half 6

 

[Popper]

Deek’s no goat a bulge pass it on Standing there with skinny jeans on and no even a slight peek of the mushroom

 

[blueblue]

Christ, he's about to be fine isn't he.

 

[SellYerMawForASubwaySalad]

Fresh oota Maria's attic.

 

[Ratgrrl]

Hay Thursday
I have my cunt washings on my bespoke washing line, in my bespoke garden. I get out there through my back door I have tonight off work. So having a lazy day. Going to have a soak in a boiling hot bath later. Bet a little someone in Paisley Towers would love a bath. Oh well. Sucks to be him

 

[ChokingOnZofloraFumes]

Naw Mario. Just Naw.
And just because you buy make up, doesn't mean you love it. You horde make up because you think it makes you an influencer but you barely wear it and just keep your out of date shite on your buckling shelves.

 

[Manbagzda]

Why's he always so aggressive. Pipe down princess.

 

[hopethishelpsallthebest]

Actual greeting ma lovelie. Dinnae ever lose your power. Keep spining brite

One thing to note....where auld rubber gub and boiled egg?

Hen, you need to stay in your lane. This wee holiday is purely for them to reconnect, and start introducing romance, intae the relationship also, after it turned intae purely scat play and so forth. Marion is imagining sex oan the beach and flowers in her wee cockatiel feathers and so forth. In reality we are going to get two little, burned, cocktail sausages and gastroenteritis for the fat, greedy one also.

 

[Popper]

Love him acting like an actual influencer and announcing that him a deed Deek have had the discussion and have decided not to share footage of their shite holiday to Lanzarote next year, on that app.

Who does he think he is? he already shares so much…. All he shares are videos of his legs walking through dog shite and littered pavements and beige food.

 

[Runforestrun]

What on earth has happened to him lately? Fully feeling himself as an influencer ma lovelies. Ads! Aff links! Make up hauls! Old staples! New staples! Never used staples!
I didn’t like him before but he’s even more insufferable recently

 

[menopausalmargrit]

Right hens, ahm putting oan a coach tae the metro in Saltcoats fur opening night. Who’s up fur it?

 

[Madge2022]

Ive heard on the grapevine that the security services are planning the operation as we speak. Its highly confidential, but the name has been leaked as 'fat slag on tour'.

It's true, it's the same personnel who organised the Queen's funeral. As she died in Scotland they used code Operation Unicorn, Martin's holiday code is Operation Fannybaws #factual

 

[Madge2022]

It makes me want to do an intimate wash with bleach (whilst throwing a bit in my eyes) and antibiotics.

Makes me wish ah hud Kerry Katonas, also.

 

[Shrekssister]

I'd love to see his actual dms. I used to help with an Instagram page for new mothers, it was breastfeeding help and the like, in my wheelhouse for work and I helped out while I was on maternity. Anyway, that page had around 100k followers and the whole purpose of it was for women to dm problems and someone would help. Even with that amount of following and the purpose being dms, the page got maybe 2-3 messages per day. Public page, no restriction on dm receiving. This is why I highly highly doubt that he gets dms daily, never mind be inundated with them. These people get far far less DMs than you'd think.

 

[Madge2022]

Martin will be sharting through the eye of a needle the night, incoming bathroom gutted reel the morra hens

---

Kittin your shed out like Santa grotto/candy lame lane doesn't make you king of chrissmass hates the cold weather, doesn't go to any markets, panto nothing. If I remember he doesn't even own anything that has a Santa on it and that's what Christmas is all about.
He's proper Cuckoo. Also

How dare youse Isa hen, ah'm affronted for youse, crissmas is about Martin standing in a car park and losing his crissmas eve dinner booking. And baby Jesus, also. #gettaeken

 

[ChokingOnZofloraFumes]

Is Mario hanging his washing oot the windae? Must be reading here to try and prove he does have a washing line.