To answer my previous question, I clearly need my head examined because I did seriously consider choosing Jack Grealish over 500 grand 
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Last night I was watching the Liverpool game with me fella and I said ‘you know what I give it the biggun about fancying Jack Grealish but I’d probs have a go of half the Liverpool team and the manager before Jack Grealish’ and my fella was like
To answer my previous question, I clearly need my head examined because I did seriously consider choosing Jack Grealish over 500 grand
My boss just asked me to cancel my annual leave on 23rd December because the part timer who is meant to be working (his gf) "probably won't make it in". I took great pleasure in saying "absolutely not" then when he said "but I'll have no staff?" I smiled and said "ahhh, that's a shame"
Love this
does his girlfriend actually work with you?!Yeah but she's not turned up in 5 weeks so I say the word "colleague" loosely.Love this
Afternoon my lovelies, well I've finally had my Costa Festive meal. I went for the Pigs and blankets mac n cheese and the Terrys chocolate orange hot chocolate with cream both were lovely.
Well done, he had it coming!
I’m still at home, I think it is my last day off because all in all I’m feeling okay, it’s just my nose/sinuses that won’t stop hurting. I live with my sister, and she keeps on wet wiping everything I touch, I feel like I have the plague
Finally done with my assignment so it’s time for a coffee and a croissant 
Hope you are all having a nice day!
Hope everyone is having a great Thursday. I’d planned on losing at least half a stone before the Christmas season. I guess mince pies don’t help with this.
people judge me for my mash potato sarnies but I’m not having it when there are sickos like this walking the streets
Turns out it's a pre-internet meme!
You couldn't pay me to eat it though!
You couldn't pay me to eat it though!
Banana does not belong on a pizza, period. If it’s a joke, it ain’t funny.
Got a work thing this evening, which I forgot until I almost left the office. I have no other outfits or accessories so I'll have to go with my work attire (dark jeans, oxford shoes and a generic top) and my mini backpack. Pretty sure people will be a dressed nice - not black tie nice but casual smart nice and I'll be standing there like like an awkward distant relative lol. Really dreading this whole thing but it's obligatory, so the best solution I have is just showing up, staying there for like an hour and then leaving asap after that. Not like anyone cares if I'm there so I don't know why these performative gestures are necessary, I'm so tired of even the most basic social demands. I just wanna stay in my thick jumper and ugly socks. Shoved a fried chicken wrap in my mouth after work so at least I won't need to feel awkward trying to find my way around the buffet. Not sure how any of this is a good idea while the cases are rising again but can't argue with the management.
It is one of those days where I wish I had a 'fast-forward 24 hours' button.
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If I just have a quick shag, can I have £250,000?
Depending on how famous a celeb they are, you could take the money and give them a cut.
Would you rather have uncontrollable gas for an entire month or wet yourself at work?
Wet myself at work defo 
Definitely wet myself at work! I think I could hide that reasonably well
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