Childfree

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Yeah, out of my mum and my uncle, it's already a foregone conclusion that my grandparents will be moving in with my mum in advanced old age, because she's the daughter.
 
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I’m the same, but ultimately it reminds me that regardless of you have kids who to say they’ll be around or want to look after you. They have no obligation to. My husband won’t be looking after his mum that’s for sure.
I have one parent left and he has treated me like utter s**t my entire life, so I certainly will not be looking after him. Having kids doesn't guarantee anything.

Yeah, out of my mum and my uncle, it's already a foregone conclusion that my grandparents will be moving in with my mum in advanced old age, because she's the daughter.
My MIL spent years hounding me about giving her grandkids, sometimes she was really rude about it. Now that my husbands other siblings have given her grandkids, we've been told its a good thing we don't have kids cos that means we can have them move in with us when they can no longer cope in the house alone. :rolleyes: 🖕
 
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I definitely won't look after my parents.

My father abandoned us when we were in elementary school so this man won't set a toe near me.

My mom already bought a retirement house to have someone full time to take care of her. She said that it would be selfish of her to force herself in our lives.

Even if she hadn't planned it there is no way that I would take care of her. My family has a terrible history with dementia. I can't imagine having to lock all the doors to prevent her from escaping or having to put stickers on everything to help her with her memory.

She tried to take care of my grandmother but she couldn't when she realised that it was a full time job. She had to choose between taking care of my grandmother or having a full time job. She decided to pay for a nurse to take care of my grandma and saved to have the same treatment when she'll retire. I'll do the same time. I'd rather have a professional to look after me.
 
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I definitely won't look after my parents.

My father abandoned us when we were in elementary school so this man won't set a toe near me.

My mom already bought a retirement house to have someone full time to take care of her. She said that it would be selfish of her to force herself in our lives.

Even if she hadn't planned it there is no way that I would take care of her. My family has a terrible history with dementia. I can't imagine having to lock all the doors to prevent her from escaping or having to put stickers on everything to help her with her memory.

She tried to take care of my grandmother but she couldn't when she realised that it was a full time job. She had to choose between taking care of my grandmother or having a full time job. She decided to pay for a nurse to take care of my grandma and saved to have the same treatment when she'll retire. I'll do the same time. I'd rather have a professional to look after me.
I always say that the money I save by not having kids I can save and use to pay people to look after me when the time comes.
 
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I'm 39 and a third school friend has just announced on Facebook that they are about to become a grandparent! I cannot comprehend this 🤣
 
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I'm 39 and a third school friend has just announced on Facebook that they are about to become a grandparent! I cannot comprehend this 🤣
There was a really sad story in a paper I saw shared on Facebook the other day about a grandmother of 2 who was sadly killed in a car accident, I was expecting it to be about someone 60+ but she was actually 32. I always forget people in their 30s can be grandparents because I definitely don't feel old enough to be a grandma!
 
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I don't want children. However, I have one worry. Who will look after/care for me when I'm old. I watched 24 hours in A&E and two stroke patients were found by their children and I just had a moment where I thought "tit! Who would find me?!"
If I get older and my husband dies before me, then I’ll sell my house and I’ll move into one of those Belong type retirement places!
 
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I'm 39 and a third school friend has just announced on Facebook that they are about to become a grandparent! I cannot comprehend this 🤣
I was 30 when a former school mate (also 30) became a granny. She'd had her daughter at 16 and then her 14 year old daughter had a baby.
 
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Yes Olivia 👏
I hate that mentality. I also hate the mentality that as soon as you’re married, it’s baby time.
Or that when buy a house with your partner, you better save one of the rooms for the future baby.

I don’t know why people think they have the right to be so nosey, rude and invasive.
 
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Yes Olivia 👏
I hate that mentality. I also hate the mentality that as soon as you’re married, it’s baby time.
Or that when buy a house with your partner, you better save one of the rooms for the future baby.

I don’t know why people think they have the right to be so nosey, rude and invasive.
People ask us why we live in a house with 4 bedrooms when there’s just the 2 of us… 🤬 duck off!!!
Erm, because we can, we pay for it ourselves and it’s none of your business! 😡
Honestly, the entitlement to pry into your life just because you don’t have children is on another level.
 
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Yes Olivia 👏
I hate that mentality. I also hate the mentality that as soon as you’re married, it’s baby time.
Or that when buy a house with your partner, you better save one of the rooms for the future baby.

I don’t know why people think they have the right to be so nosey, rude and invasive.
You know what I don't get, infertility is so common, miscarriages happen a lot and children sadly die every day. Yet people ask questions like why don't you want kids, what if your husband leaves you and say things like you're not a real woman, your life will be empty, you'll never know love and hilariously say that people without kids won't have empathy and maturity when for all they know, they're berating a woman who has had her third miscarriage of a much wanted baby four days ago! But I'm immature with no empathy…OK.
 
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I can’t stand Olivia Bowen but she is 100% correct about this
Personally, questions like that don’t offend me, but maybe after a few years of people asking I’ll change my mind lol. Saying that, I’d never ask these questions!
 
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what if your husband leaves you
Ugh yes I hate this! It’s such a pointless question. Like I’ve seen so many relationships break down because they had kids. But when someone announces their pregnancy, you would never say ‘omg what if your husband leaves you?’
 
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I have mentioned before on this thread that part of my job is to represent people with dementia, brain injuries or other cognition conditions. Sometimes these people have children (the most I've had was 12 kids) and yet none of them could be contacted OR they requested not to be. Sometimes children could be contacted by phone but never visited.
Now I totally get that, my Mum (and by extension, I) had no relationship with her father for her reasons but it just pulls into focus that kids won't always be the ones to help you.
AND - I would not want to look after my Mum or my Dad in that situation because it is a job for people with training and professionalism. There is not only skill in carefully handled personal care but skill in redirecting and distracting someone who is having one of those days and I think it is so much harder when that is your relative or friend.

Now is a good reminder for all of us to take charge of some sort of advanced care planning, no matter how tit it feels to do. My Mum worked in nursing care of the elderly so thankfully I know exactly what she would and wouldn't want if that time comes and I know she's got a folder of it all written down too.

I was making my breakfast today, reflecting on a funeral (and the life of that family) I went to recently because I am such a laugh you know and another reason I am committed to childfree is that I genuinely don't think I could cope if I had a child and something went awry - illness, accident, death. I can't even bear the idea of dealing with it for husband/parents/friends and I know a child for me mentally would be the alpha and the omega and I just don't think I could have a healthy life worrying about it. My child would have no freedom because of my fear.

@Satisfying Click if I could like your summary post a few pages back, I would.
 
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We just got upgraded to business on our flight home as we overheard the check-in staff give our seats to a young family that needed to be sat together. God bless the children 🥰
 
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@Satisfying Click if I could like your summary post a few pages back, I would.
And by 'like your summary' I meant 'like it a million times' because I already loved it when it was posted.
I was tired this morning 😅 I can't even imagine how tired I would be if I had kids.
 
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I don't want children. However, I have one worry. Who will look after/care for me when I'm old. I watched 24 hours in A&E and two stroke patients were found by their children and I just had a moment where I thought "tit! Who would find me?!"
On the flip side, what if you had a child that needed to be cared for by you for their entire life. So many disabilities require this. What happens to them if you have a stroke....that scares me more
 
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I don’t have children at the moment but I am hoping to one day. I do get annoyed seeing the judgement that women who don’t want children get. A few years back, I worked with a woman who was around 19/20, she was adamant she didn’t want children and never had done. All of the older women in the office kept saying “you will, wait until you’re older”… so patronising.
My husband’s grandmother told me a few years ago when discussing children that I need to “get on with it as I’m not getting any younger” I was 26 at the time 🤯 She wasn’t joking either. For all she knew, we could have been trying! She is a lovely woman most of the time but I think she views my sole purpose as to give her greatgrandchildren.
 
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