Childfree

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Anyone else childfree?

Childless = can't have children for whatever reason, could be medical, etc.

Childfree = someone that chooses not to have children.

I am an only child and have known since I was quite young that I didn't want children. It can be quite annoying as I am at that age where people are having kids, and people feel like it is their business to ask when I will have kids. There almost still seems to be a taboo against women who choose not to have children which is frustrating.

Let's keep this civil :)
 
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I’m childless however even if I could have kids I wouldn’t.
Right. I think the most frustrating part, is people that say I am selfish for not wanting children. That doesn't make any sense. It would be selfish of me to have a child that I didn't want.
 
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I wish people would mind their own business, period. Not just asking about kids, but also relationships wise. If we want to talk about something, we will. I find it beyond invasive and I sometimes struggle to keep my shit together and not tell people to f*** off. It's a problem. [emoji51]
 
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Right. I think the most frustrating part, is people that say I am selfish for not wanting children. That doesn't make any sense. It would be selfish of me to have a child that I didn't want.
This! People (before they know I can’t have kids) , tell me I’m missing out, I’m selfish, you don’t know love until you’ve had a child. Yet when I say I would like a dog, they all say “it’s too much responsibility , think of the cost etc”

People just need to bloody butt out and mind their own business :)
 
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Ok, so I'm NOT childfree, I have 4. But my #3 has stated for a long while that she doesnt ever want to have children of her own. She's nearly 15 now so obviously has lots of time for a change of heart, but she's so adamant about it I'd actually be surprised if she changed her mind! She points out the little smart cars and says that's what she'll have, doesn't need more than 2 seats, just room for a husband and herself. Says she will live in a house with 2 bedrooms so she has a spare for when her neices and nephews come to stay! It's interesting that you are an only child and she is one of four. Its made me feel I've done a terrible job bringing them up and put her off! Happy to see this may not be the case!
 
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I have a child but I’m really conscious not to ask others when they’re going to have children. I have quite a few childfree and friends who can’t have children.
I just think it’s rude. I’ve only spoken about it if they bring it up. It’s none of mine or anyone else’s business.

My daughter is still young but always says she doesn’t want kids. I honestly believe she may stick with that. I can’t imagine her having children and I respect her and anyone’s rights to have or not to have.

People seem to think it’s fair game. With couples and women as well 🤦🏻‍♀️
 
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Ok, so I'm NOT childfree, I have 4. But my #3 has stated for a long while that she doesnt ever want to have children of her own. She's nearly 15 now so obviously has lots of time for a change of heart, but she's so adamant about it I'd actually be surprised if she changed her mind! She points out the little smart cars and says that's what she'll have, doesn't need more than 2 seats, just room for a husband and herself. Says she will live in a house with 2 bedrooms so she has a spare for when her neices and nephews come to stay! It's interesting that you are an only child and she is one of four. Its made me feel I've done a terrible job bringing them up and put her off! Happy to see this may not be the case!
Don't blame yourself. I am sure it has absolutely nothing to do with how you raised her. People are just built differently, some really want children, and others don't. I never had that desire. I thought I might change my mind as I got older, but in fact, the older I get, the more sure I am that I don't want children.

This! People (before they know I can’t have kids) , tell me I’m missing out, I’m selfish, you don’t know love until you’ve had a child. Yet when I say I would like a dog, they all say “it’s too much responsibility , think of the cost etc”

People just need to bloody butt out and mind their own business :)
We have a dog that is two. I often think of him as a perpetual "toddler." He will never be able to feed himself, bathe himself, pay for things himself. We had people try to tell us that we should have a child before getting a dog and that just didn't make any sense to me.

I have a child but I’m really conscious not to ask others when they’re going to have children. I have quite a few childfree and friends who can’t have children.
I just think it’s rude. I’ve only spoken about it if they bring it up. It’s none of mine or anyone else’s business.

My daughter is still young but always says she doesn’t want kids. I honestly believe she may stick with that. I can’t imagine her having children and I respect her and anyone’s rights to have or not to have.

People seem to think it’s fair game. With couples and women as well 🤦🏻‍♀️
Yeah, people can be quite nosy. I think it is a rude question to ask, as you never know what could be going on with someone fertility wise.
 
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Childfree for loads of reasons, not least that we don't have long before we will physically face an environmental catastrophe so why would anyone bring another life into the world to suffer that? Incredibly cruel.
 
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I’m new but had to register after seeing this thread. YES!!! I have never wanted kids, I’m 35 now and I’m going through a very confusing “well it really is now or never” phase. Has anyone else been through this? It’s all I can think about right now. ESP as I’ve been so adamant when ppl say I’ll change my mind and I’ve been internally furious....and now, I feel like I can’t change my mind 😆 but I don’t even know if I want to change my mind UGH it’s the most confusing thing. Glad to have found a thread where other people are childfree and I can relate to them

Childfree for loads of reasons, not least that we don't have long before we will physically face an environmental catastrophe so why would anyone bring another life into the world to suffer that? Incredibly cruel.
I agree with this entirely. I often think the worst and let alone environmental catastrophe what about war type environments. It could happen. And I’d have trouble enough keeping myself safe let alone someone else who’s dependant on me.
 
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With the state of the world I find it bizarre that people do question those that choose not to have children. The world is way too overpopulated leading to so many issues. Lots of scary predictions about the ability of drinking water in the coming decades.

People talk about having their life back once children move out. I'd rather just enjoy life and not put off things. We've all got to do what will make us happy.
 
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I’m new but had to register after seeing this thread. YES!!! I have never wanted kids, I’m 35 now and I’m going through a very confusing “well it really is now or never” phase. Has anyone else been through this? It’s all I can think about right now. ESP as I’ve been so adamant when ppl say I’ll change my mind and I’ve been internally furious....and now, I feel like I can’t change my mind 😆 but I don’t even know if I want to change my mind UGH it’s the most confusing thing. Glad to have found a thread where other people are childfree and I can relate to them



I agree with this entirely. I often think the worst and let alone environmental catastrophe what about war type environments. It could happen. And I’d have trouble enough keeping myself safe let alone someone else who’s dependant on me.
This is exactly how I feel at the moment. I'm 33, married for 10 years and child free by choice. I have always been adamant that I definitely don't want children and deep down I know I am happy with my decision, it's everyone else with their "you'll make a great Mum" "you'll love your own kids" "I can't imagine a life without children" "you'll regret it when it's too late" that really gets to me and makes me doubt myself 😠 People really need to realise how rude it is to question people about having children, I would never dream of asking someone with children why they have them! When I look at people with children I don't envy their life at all, so I think this proves to me that I am doing the right thing.
 
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I can’t imagine my life without kids and I always knew I wanted them....but that’s me.

I think others should keep out of other people’s business. If people choose not (or choose too) have children does not affect anyone but them.
 
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I’m childfree. I’ve never felt maternal. I’m 35 now and still don’t feel maternal. Surely by now I would know if I really wanted children? Wouldn’t I??? People used to say ‘oo it’s different when they’re your own’ ‘ooo one day you’ll know’, well, I honestly don’t feel different. I sometimes get asked about kids, usually by the older people at work. There was even a time after my sister had twins that I’m very sure my manger and another bloke at work were convinced I’d be having babies imminently. Making little comments. Weird hints. It made me cringe. That was 4 years ago now, and here I still am, without children. People are nosey and presumptuous.
 
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I know I'm late on this one and not childless or childfree, I have 2 IVF children and I just wanted to say I absolutely agree it's noone else's business whether you can, can't, will or won't reproduce! Nobody should have to justify the size of their family be it big or small!
Also, for the people questioning their decisions I can only speak for myself but when I was trying to conceive both naturally and medically it consumed my life and i never once doubted my need to conceive, carry and deliver my children - you just know, trust yourself and don't be influenced by others, I do believe if you wished to carry your babies the you would KNOW more deeply than you know anything else, and if you change your mind about motherhood in the future there are other ways to become a mother long after your biological clock has ticked away.
I wish you all happy and fulfilled lives :)
 
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I'm childless as my body can't handle pregnancy. My body goes into a state of shock and I develop early pre-eclampsia. I have never been pregnant for longer than 20 weeks.
However, we (husband and I ) we see it as a blessing as we love our 'free time' too much and love travelling and doing our own thing.
I still get the most awful comments from people asking me when will it be my turn and it isn't fair on my parents on not giving them grandchildren - I kid you not. People really should mind their own business.
 
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I would never say never, as you don't know how you will feel in the future but I'm approaching 30, have been in a relationship for nearly 10 years and I'm 99.9% sure I don't want kids, for various reasons.

What bothers me though is that wanting to have kids is seen as the default position, and you're seen as abnormal if you don't want kids. This is such a weird concept to me, as having kids is such a life changing decision to make, and is literally the one thing in life you can't change once it is done; the default should be not having kids, and the decision to have kids only made once the person is 100% sure that it is what they want and they are aware of the consequences.

So many children are brought into the world just because it is billed as the thing people do, and probably end up resented or neglected because their parents hadn't thought about whether it is what they truly wanted, they were just doing it by default.
 
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I have a child but when I was younger I never wanted them, just changed my mind as I got older but I actually used to think and still do think that it's selfish to have kids. The only reason you have a baby is because you want one, that's it. They don't ask to be born, I decided I wanted a baby with my husband but definitely don't think women are selfish for NOT having a baby, quite the opposite
 
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