Childfree

[TaylorMomsen]

Was at a wedding the other week, well say at a wedding, I was bridesmaid to my best friend along with the rest of our friendship group - two of which have kids
It was in a different city so we all had to troop up the day before and stay over, with our partners and those with the kids brought them too.

So the night before when us bridesmaids were getting our hair curly blown to be pin curled, the two maids with kids brought their kids with them to the bridal suite? Even though their partners were also there and could have taken the kids, so that the people involved in the actual wedding could have had a relaxing evening? Is this standard behaviour that the women are just meant to have the kids? Even when the men were just sitting in the bar drinking?

My fiance actually pulled one of the dads up and was like "errr, why haven't you got the kid so that the girls can all relax and enjoy themselves?" and he was like "i can't be arsed with her tonight, and it's her mum's job"

The bride was raging that things in her suite were getting jumped on, knocked over, broken, but she was far too nice to say anything to get rid of the kids.

The next day at the actual wedding as well, the man who said he couldn't be arsed with his own daughter, left his GF to do EVERYTHING for the child, even though she was bridesmaid. She had to sit things like photos, socialising etc out because the dad is a head

 

[Anne1448]

Was at a wedding the other week, well say at a wedding, I was bridesmaid to my best friend along with the rest of our friendship group - two of which have kids
It was in a different city so we all had to troop up the day before and stay over, with our partners and those with the kids brought them too.

So the night before when us bridesmaids were getting our hair curly blown to be pin curled, the two maids with kids brought their kids with them to the bridal suite? Even though their partners were also there and could have taken the kids, so that the people involved in the actual wedding could have had a relaxing evening? Is this standard behaviour that the women are just meant to have the kids? Even when the men were just sitting in the bar drinking?

My fiance actually pulled one of the dads up and was like "errr, why haven't you got the kid so that the girls can all relax and enjoy themselves?" and he was like "i can't be arsed with her tonight, and it's her mum's job"

The bride was raging that things in her suite were getting jumped on, knocked over, broken, but she was far too nice to say anything to get rid of the kids.

The next day at the actual wedding as well, the man who said he couldn't be arsed with his own daughter, left his GF to do EVERYTHING for the child, even though she was bridesmaid. She had to sit things like photos, socialising etc out because the dad is a head

So many women are having kids with a partner who is nothing more than a sperm donor.

 

[TaylorMomsen]

So many women are having kids with a partner who is nothing more than a sperm donor.

her fella's an absolute rat as well, looks like one, acts like one (was sending dick pics while she was in labour, then did it again around the kid's second birthday and now they live next door to the girl he was sending the dick pics too)

 

[Rippedjeanmaybe]

i don’t even have children and I still feel like they ruin so many things

went to a museum and I was doing an interactive thing (for adults) and some small child came along and started pressing the buttons, the mum did nothing!

at the zoo and having a picnic under a tree and this little kid starts throwing a bottle top around, he’s throwing it closer and closer to us and his mum is just sat there not saying anything… control your kids for God’s sake! I had to start staring before she said anything!

I swear some people are so blind to their kids behaviour, it’s like they believe that everyone must like kids and that everyone must tolerate them like they do

 

[ElectricDreams]

This amazes me. So in their home they would have allowed the child to smash the TV set? I’d have done the exact same as you.

My nephew isn’t spoiled, but I think my brother and his partner are a lot more relaxed with things around the house than I am eg playing and jumping on the furniture etc. So he doesn’t get away with anything like that at our house, but he knows that and is fine with it. He’s really good actually - he knows not to cross me The way I see it, we don’t have children so we can keep our home nice and don’t have everything trashed, so I’m not going to let him do it just because he’s come to stay for a few days.

My sister is quite laid back with my nephew and let's him get away with more than we were ever allowed as kids. My parents even tolerate him climbing and jumping on the furniture which was a no-no for us as well. I think my nephew sees me as the disciplinarian in the family the looks he throws me when I tell him no but he respects me and does seem to understand boundaries (he's 3)

One thing that really annoyed me a few weeks ago though was he was hitting my dad (play fighting but on the verge of getting carried away). I told him to stop (I got the look off him, but he did and he was fine about it) but my dad said "oh he's all right! He's not hurting anyone" a) if I'd done that as a kid that would have been instant grounding, and b) he needs to learn that hitting isn't acceptable at all. How do you distinguish between it being OK to hit grandad but not hit his friend at nursery? My sister agreed with me on this, but it's amazing to see the change in my parents as they have become grandparents!

 

[JoeBloggs]

I have always been an advocate for child free days, maybe two days a year when no one under the age of 18 is allowed into public places. I'd love to go to a shop or gallery without kids running around and screaming. I can all but dream.

 

[Smca53]

I swear some people are so blind to their kids behaviour, it’s like they believe that everyone must like kids and that everyone must tolerate them like they do

I find that it’s not even that you’re expected to like children generally, for some reason most parents seem to think that even if you’re not a “kid person” their children are obviously an exception because they’re just so perfect! Errrr, nope. Your kids are the same as the rest of them, I’m sorry to say.

 

[SamBamford]

I was 11 when my mum had my brother, a lot of responsibility was passed on to me. If he was ill, I was kept off school, he was mine to take care of all weekend, I wasn't allowed out as a teenager. If I asked to go out, I was asked who is going to look after your brother? I only got to mix with others once I started work. I was still on babysitting duties though, I even had to take a week off my annual leave to take care of him while the parents went on holiday. So I felt like I had partly raised a child anyway. I don't have children and happy with that too. Especially when I see my friends letting theirs run riot around pubs and restaurants. One friend used to take hers to the pub on Saturdays around lunchtime and encourage him to go chat to people. She presumed everyone would like him as much as she did and was snotty to me when I said I wouldn't want him pestering me.

 

[Lanavalentine]

Honestly, it’s never the kids, it’s always the parents.

They all think they’re the exception to the rule, but they never are.

 

[Blond3g1rl]

I would pay extra for child free flights.

 

[HumphreyB]

I have kids but I’d love kid free days and would pay anything for kid free flights. Lol

I’m a fairly strict parent in terms of behavior expectations/respect. This alone means I dislike 99% of other peoples kids

 

[Smca53]

The first time I went to an adult only hotel, I couldn’t believe how much more enjoyable the holiday was. Actual relaxation rather than listening to other people’s offspring screeching! And everything was just better quality and nicer, didn’t have to be made out of plastic to be child-friendly. Blissful.

If only the flights could also be child-free, that would just make it!

 

[Blond3g1rl]

The first time I went to an adult only hotel, I couldn’t believe how much more enjoyable the holiday was. Actual relaxation rather than listening to other people’s offspring screeching! And everything was just better quality and nicer, didn’t have to be made out of plastic to be child-friendly. Blissful.

If only the flights could also be child-free, that would just make it!

We always go adults only. On one holiday we ventured next door to the sister hotel, which wasn’t adults only, for dinner. Was probably the quickest dinner of the whole two weeks, couldn’t get back to our hotel fast enough

 

[Satisfying Click]

Along with childfree flights, I'd pay extra to ban annoying men who use lounge access to get tanked up at 8am and their spouses who loudly FaceTime their grandkids. I'd name the airline: STFU

 

[ElectricDreams]

The first time I went to an adult only hotel, I couldn’t believe how much more enjoyable the holiday was. Actual relaxation rather than listening to other people’s offspring screeching! And everything was just better quality and nicer, didn’t have to be made out of plastic to be child-friendly. Blissful.

If only the flights could also be child-free, that would just make it!

We love to go on cruises, we usually pick adult only itineraries or ships or go in term time but there aren't usually that many kids on board if we don't. Apart from one year, we went in June and we thought it would be fairly child free. But it must have been school holidays in Scotland because there were loads of kids. It was pointless trying to use the pool or the hot tubs (even though technically kids weren't allowed in them) as the kids just dive bombed over your head. It's the only holiday where I was glad to go home at the end of it! It astounded me how many teenagers had to have ipads with them at the dinner table as well. I've seen parents use them with younger kids to distract them, but surely a teenager can get through a meal without one!

 

[mcfeez]

Was at a wedding the other week, well say at a wedding, I was bridesmaid to my best friend along with the rest of our friendship group - two of which have kids
It was in a different city so we all had to troop up the day before and stay over, with our partners and those with the kids brought them too.

So the night before when us bridesmaids were getting our hair curly blown to be pin curled, the two maids with kids brought their kids with them to the bridal suite? Even though their partners were also there and could have taken the kids, so that the people involved in the actual wedding could have had a relaxing evening? Is this standard behaviour that the women are just meant to have the kids? Even when the men were just sitting in the bar drinking?

My fiance actually pulled one of the dads up and was like "errr, why haven't you got the kid so that the girls can all relax and enjoy themselves?" and he was like "i can't be arsed with her tonight, and it's her mum's job"

The bride was raging that things in her suite were getting jumped on, knocked over, broken, but she was far too nice to say anything to get rid of the kids.

The next day at the actual wedding as well, the man who said he couldn't be arsed with his own daughter, left his GF to do EVERYTHING for the child, even though she was bridesmaid. She had to sit things like photos, socialising etc out because the dad is a head

This is something I was always scared of when considering having kids, being completely left to it by myself. Now knowing my husband and how he is, I don't think this would happen if we did decide we wanted children.

Its awful how many women this is a reality for. A couple years ago a colleague of mine came to the Christmas party, it was a fun 'black tie' theme so everyone had went all out with making loads of effort to get ready. Even in the run up to the night she kept going on about what a big deal it was for her to be getting out because of leaving 'her baby' (4 year old daughter). It was confusing because her partner had a pretty standard 9 to 5 job so it wasn't like it was difficult for him to be at home. On the night of - her boyfriend called her half way through the night, like mid dinner, and basically just said she'd have to come home because their daughter was crying too much for her. She wasn't unwell or sick or anything, just he couldn't put up with it anymore. She explained this to us and informed she'd be off now - she was a bit put out but also sounded like she thought this was a totally reasonable request he'd made.

 

[Pixipoppy]

Was at a wedding the other week, well say at a wedding, I was bridesmaid to my best friend along with the rest of our friendship group - two of which have kids
It was in a different city so we all had to troop up the day before and stay over, with our partners and those with the kids brought them too.

So the night before when us bridesmaids were getting our hair curly blown to be pin curled, the two maids with kids brought their kids with them to the bridal suite? Even though their partners were also there and could have taken the kids, so that the people involved in the actual wedding could have had a relaxing evening? Is this standard behaviour that the women are just meant to have the kids? Even when the men were just sitting in the bar drinking?

My fiance actually pulled one of the dads up and was like "errr, why haven't you got the kid so that the girls can all relax and enjoy themselves?" and he was like "i can't be arsed with her tonight, and it's her mum's job"

The bride was raging that things in her suite were getting jumped on, knocked over, broken, but she was far too nice to say anything to get rid of the kids.

The next day at the actual wedding as well, the man who said he couldn't be arsed with his own daughter, left his GF to do EVERYTHING for the child, even though she was bridesmaid. She had to sit things like photos, socialising etc out because the dad is a head

I think this says a lot more about the type of person your friend chose to have a kid with to be honest! What a waste of space. To give my partner credit I do think he’d be a great hands on dad, but even so I still think there’s this “unwritten rule” that the lions share of the childbearing goes to the mother. He would never act like this hole your friend is with but I still worry that the day to day stuff would fall with me while he goes to work. I already do much of the cooking, cleaning, laundry etc - and can see myself getting so resentful of me looking after the kids while he chilled on the sofa after a “hard day”. I know if I asked him to help that he would 100%, I just don’t like that I’d even have to ask. Women shouldn’t have to be the default parent!

 

[Satisfying Click]

Had a childfree friend over for dinner last night and halfway through eating, we talked about some of the nonsense parents have said in order to convince us to join their club. Apparently my husband was told by a colleague (who has had their third child) that having children keeps him young, so my husband should consider it. You know what keeps me young? Sleep

 

[Blond3g1rl]

Had a childfree friend over for dinner last night and halfway through eating, we talked about some of the nonsense parents have said in order to convince us to join their club. Apparently my husband was told by a colleague (who has had their third child) that having children keeps him young, so my husband should consider it. You know what keeps me young? Sleep

Someone who quite aggressively told me that having children was the best thing ever, ended up sleeping with prostitutes and the marriage broke down due to the demands of their kids.
Think I’ll keep my relationship sex work and children free.

 

[Pixipoppy]

Met up with an old uni friend last week, who had a baby this year. Baby very much wanted and longed for (even in uni she was very broody!), she is happily married and they have everything sussed. I asked her how things were and she just looked me straight in the eye and said “hard”. If this girl is finding it hard why do people think that they can convince me that having a baby is magical and wonderful?!