Childfree by choice #6 Sleeping well at night, petition for childfree flights

[LaBlonde]

I genuinely wish IKEA had child free hours. Even like twice a month if the store was adults only for an afternoon even, I would be more inclined to go! The prospect of a weekend + bored kids is too much.

i love ikea but i can’t bear how parents seem to treat it as a kind of soft play for their kids - i can really only go in the weekends and there’s always kids rolling around on the beds, pulling all the cushions off shelves, playing in the kitchens etc. it isn’t a theme park, let me buy loads of things i don’t need in peace!

 

[Saddlesoap]

Did everyone have a lovely weekend not ferrying their children places

 

[paulpercy666]

I’ve just seen someone in the supermarket wearing a t shirt that says ‘raising boys’ on it

And did you stop to thank them for their service?

 

[judgejohndeed]

I’ve just seen someone in the supermarket wearing a t shirt that says ‘raising boys’ on it

 

[Jane Porcupine]

I'm just watching the BBC series The Traitors watch was screened before Christmas, I don't know if any of you saw it.

In the episode I just watched, they were sitting about debating who the traitor might be and someone mentioned a name. Someone else piped up, 'He would never be a traitor, he has children!'

WTF! Something else to add to our list of deficiencies: questionable morals.

 

[Satisfying Click]

Totally agree, this is also one of the other reasons I'm relieved not to have children. I'd be anxious about having a son and ensuring he'd not fall foul of these awful influential men. I'd be terrified if I had a daughter.

I was lucky that I married a man who doesn't see me as a housekeeper, but I know so many 'modern men' who reveal their 1950s father archetype - and it's not until after the children arrive that this manifests.

 

[HoGi]

OMG THE ONLY SAFE SPACE IN THE WORLD where I won’t offend someone
Being a mother is NOT a full time job. You have to wake in the night sometimes (only at baby stage) do breakfast and a nappy and watch it play for a bit or take it to the park or read to it, lunch, supper, bath and bed?
I work harder than that every weekday

I obviously don't have kids. But what annoys me is that the term "full time mum" insinuates that mum's that work aren't mum's while they are at work. When we know they most definitely are! They get allowances for being early/late, extra time out, priority leave etc.

If you don't work to look after kids call yourself a housewife or unemployed because that's the truth.

 

[TaylorMomsen]

I said this once my wedding was over. I had a tiny at home Wedding but it takes over your life before hand and I can imagine if you have a big one you have been planning for years you get married and then what do you do with your time, fill it with an baby.

We’ve filled out post wedding time with holiday planning and booking instead, got five booked and paid for for this year and planning more
Can’t talk about it with mates with kids though as they fume 🫠

 

[JoeBloggs]

right!! I mean I totally understand universities wanting to widen participation in HE and anyone who manages to complete a degree whilst having other responsibilities should be proud of themselves….. but are you joking? like, on what planet would anyone think that this would be acceptable? I wouldn’t dream of bringing my cat to a lecture - I know a cat isn’t the same as a human child but I’m on this thread for a reason lol.

I hate to sound harsh but it’s a bizarre level of entitlement to think that you should be able to bring your child with you everywhere to the disruption of others and even where the environment is not child appropriate.

All universities have creches, there is no reason she need to have in the lecture. If it was the important he was breastfed then she needed to defer for a year or put him on the bottle. Why these parents think their child needs comes before everyone else is beyond me. You bought him into the world therefore you have to adapt, not the world.

 

[Pebbleybeach]

For me personally marriage is a sore point, I was in a 10 yr relationship with my ex, who told my family he was going to propose, then 3 months later left me for someone else. I’ve been with mr HeyBabes for 5 years now, I want that sort of commitment, but I’m terrified of the same thing happening and ending up heartbroken again

That’s completely understandable. Past trauma will affect decisions like that. I was married to someone who on our honeymoon sat me down and told me he lied about being childfree because he ‘knew’ that when women got married they changed their minds and wanted kids and so I shouldn’t be scared of telling him I wanted them now because he wanted them too and when should we start. I was VERY scared to get married again after a marriage that lasted less than 3 days and I spent my whole honeymoon after my second wedding on edge!

Because you do want to get engaged again, I hope one day you’re able to.

 

[ElectricDreams]

When I was young and was taken to tearooms/restaurants it was normal to be discreet/quiet. You would have loved it and no we weren't rich!

There was a thread on mumsnet asking if it was acceptable to take a 7/8 year old to a Michelin star restaurant for a tasting menu and let him use his Switch between courses none of them had a problem with this as long as the switch was on silent I'd be fuming if I were paying that kind of money and there be a kid there, never mind on a switch!

 

[Rippedjeanmaybe]

In my previous role, one male manager asked me if I had children and I said “no”. Then my direct manager interjected and said “You don’t, but some day you will”. Then I said “That’s not the topic of this conversation” and gave him the side eye. Then he apologized and said he didn’t know why he said that.

Some men out there still think all women want children.

On the topic of children not being invited to weddings. It’s obviously a right of the future spouses not to invite children, but if I were a parent, I’d be slightly offended. I wouldn’t show up with my children though, I simply would decline attending.

My attitude was that it’s OUR wedding, WE were paying and if WE didn’t want kids then we weren’t having kids! Our wedding, our choice! When the guests pay then they get to choose! And honestly I wouldn’t have cared less if people hadn’t have come because I’d said no kids!
I’m a really shy person and I wouldn’t want to be worrying about some kids embarrassing me and ruining OUR wedding!

to be honest though, the only person at the ceremony who had kids was my maid of honour and she was happy to not have to put up with her two year old all day!

 

[Rippedjeanmaybe]

Someone at work has just told me they assumed I ‘wouldn’t be into Christmas as I don’t have kids, and if they didn’t have kids then they just wouldn’t bother’ these people are so bloody miserable

Can’t stand people like that and the “you don’t enjoy Christmas until you have children”.

I’m pretty sure I’d stop enjoying Christmas if I did have children

You don’t need to have kids to appreciate a good Christmas dinner

 

[Blond3g1rl]

My attitude was that it’s OUR wedding, WE were paying and if WE didn’t want kids then we weren’t having kids! Our wedding, our choice! When the guests pay then they get to choose! And honestly I wouldn’t have cared less if people hadn’t have come because I’d said no kids!
I’m a really shy person and I wouldn’t want to be worrying about some kids embarrassing me and ruining OUR wedding!

to be honest though, the only person at the ceremony who had kids was my maid of honour and she was happy to not have to put up with her two year old all day!

This. I got married this year, was a kid free wedding and all the guests said they loved it and enjoyed a day without their children.
Also, I’m friends with my friends, not their children. Weddings are bloody expensive. We didn’t want to pay to feed children we barely know and change the vibe of OUR day. Kids sliding around on their knees on the dance floor is not my thing.

 

[JoeBloggs]

I had a child free wedding and I didn’t give two hoots what parents thought. I am friends with you not your kid, I’m pretty vocal about my feelings towards kids as well so I think that helps.

I think it’s pretty pathetic if you’re offended if your kid doesn’t get an invite.

 

[Princesst]

I don’t hate children either. I like to think I hold everyone at the same level of public courtesy. I hate the fact I can’t go anywhere without someone else’s child impacting my day or experience. No one should be running around or screaming in a restaurant or doing anything that ruins it for other people. No one should negatively impact anyone in their own house etc with noise. No one should have to endure disrupted flights and ruined holidays. I shouldn’t have to step over anyone lying in the middle of a shopping centre or the supermarket. The problem with children is the “do what you want, wherever you want” is tolerated and encouraged in many areas so it’s just the norm now. Businesses etc are too afraid to say anything. A family having a meal out wouldn’t appreciate me running around their table and screaming at the top of my lungs… so I’d just like that courtesy to be returned

 

[HoGi]

Not childfree related per se but related to unsolicited questions about when you are having kids etc.

Someone I follow on Instagram took her son to see Santa. She just shared on her stories she had a lovely time except for Santa suggesting she give her son a sibling next year!!

Awful for him to have suggested this but she had to have IVF for her son and I believe can't have any further children. People really need to stop making such remarks to people who already have kids and those who don't.

 

[shadowcat5]

Random q... But do you think having children is a privilege or a right...?

I think it should be treated as a privilege.

Your job as a parent is to guide a human into adulthood. That needs to be taken seriously. No I don't think you have a right to bring another human into the world. You're able to or not but it should be treated as a privilege you should want or be willing to take on. Not just something that happens or something you deserve.

 

[Rippedjeanmaybe]

View attachment 1794044
A martyr mum posted this on Instagram this morning

I’m employed and even I don’t get a Christmas party, bonus, promotion or coaching

 

[Millais]

Got side eyed by my mum today when she showed me a photo of her friend’s new granddaughter and I commented “Oh that’s a large baby!” Turns out the word we need to use is chunky. Not to be confused with chonky - that’s cats. Don’t make my mistake.