Childfree by choice #5

[cc_2013]

I am curious what bc you all use to prevent pregnancies? I've been on Depo for over a decade... Controversial I know! But it also is the only medication that minimizes my endo symptoms. My gynecologist and Dr are not worried about me being on it long term as they've said the "worrying" studies about bone density are very outdated. I've never had any issues on it. I'm actually so glad to never have a period . I did come off it for a couple of months and my period came back straight away and it was bleeping horrible. I got so used to not having one, I would hate to have it every month. Lmao.

I’m on the pill, I’ve been on the pill since I was 14 so over 15 years now. (Just realised that’s over half my life! ) I can’t even remember what it was like to not be on it x

 

[it’s not been changed?!]

Same. Been on it for almost 20 years and never had any issues. I've also spoken to numerous medical professionals about the long term 'side effects' and been told the same as you. It gets a lot of hate though so I guess it's not compatible with a lot of people!

I did the same as you and came off it for a while because I'd read all this stuff about how important it is to 'be in tune with your body' and track your periods. It had been so long I'd forgotten just how vile my periods made me feel, they are so painful I actually vomit with the pain. So yeah, no thanks.

Same as you and @penny1992
I do, once and a while, worry that it can’t be good for me I had a brief break and my periods came back regularly.
I’m not even on depo for contraception anymore like I was to begin with, it’s because I hated having a period every 21 days!

I’m wondering if feeling low/down are from being on depo for a long time. Anyone else have low moods from it?

 

[jimjamgem]

I’m on my 3rd implant and before that was on the pill. I’ve been considering the coil for after this implant is done as it being non-hormonal is really appealing!

 

[Awkward_Somber]

I am curious what bc you all use to prevent pregnancies? I've been on Depo for over a decade... Controversial I know! But it also is the only medication that minimizes my endo symptoms. My gynecologist and Dr are not worried about me being on it long term as they've said the "worrying" studies about bone density are very outdated. I've never had any issues on it. I'm actually so glad to never have a period . I did come off it for a couple of months and my period came back straight away and it was bleeping horrible. I got so used to not having one, I would hate to have it every month. Lmao.

Being a lesbian! It always makes me laugh when I get asked if I could be pregnant at a medical appointment and say no, and then they always ask, but are you sure? Yep, 100% certainty here.

 

[HeyBabes]

The most disgusting thing happened on my flight today (I work on planes) a mum came on with her toddler, and we all know how disgusting airplane toilets are. she opened the door after having changed her kid’s nappy, and this kid was crawling all over the toilet floor(which is covered in other folks piss and all sorts) and then the mum sits her back down in the seat, and hands her some food, without cleaning her hands. All I’m thinking is she’s going to have a fun night because her kid is going to be sick as a dog. Some peoples crappy parenting is astounding

 

[Millais]

They don’t seem to believe that germs would ever dare go near A PRECIOUS CHILD OF GOD like when they pick a dummy off the pavement and shove it straight in lickle Tyler-Durden’s gob to shut him up again.

 

[witchofwestbyfleet]

My grandmother is in her early 80s and said that she thought my cousin had been breastfeeding her almost 2-year-old daughter for too long. I said that these days all mothers are expected to breastfeed, and encouraged to continue as long as possible. She was quite shocked and said that in her day, a lot of people used formula or gave expressed milk from a bottle because they didn't like breastfeeding/didn't want to do it. Obviously in her day raising children was a lot harder and society was even harsher on women than it is now ... but I do think there are increased demands on mothers now to be perfect, must breastfeed, must do everything for the child etc. My sister and I were given formula as babies because our mother had had a very difficult birth of twins and was on medication, would she be considered a bad mother now?

I think another good example of this is, as people were discussing recently, the idea that school holidays and half term breaks have to be filled up with educational activities instead of just letting kids play

 

[shadowcat5]

Saw this this morning and I laughed, got angry and rolled my eyes all at the same time so as I feel like a terrible person, you all get to feel it too

 

[ack13]

Apologies for the rant but…

I wish parents would stop commenting on this thread. I could not care less about your experience of being a parent. I don’t go and comment on the (many) pregnancy/children related threads speaking about my experience of being child free because it’s not wanted.

 

[Erling Haaland]

On my 2nd copper coil. They are literally the gold standard of long acting reversible contraceptions. Lasts 5-10 years depending which one you get put in. 98% effective. No hormones. Very few side effects. I think everyone should get one put in at 16

im also on the copper coil!
After being on the implant for 9 years, it’s amazing!

it KILLS getting it put in - I wailed like I was in labour but apparently I’d you’ve not had a term pregnancy before it does feel like a contraction pain

even still, it’s totally worth it. Periods are like clockwork and less PMT X

The most disgusting thing happened on my flight today (I work on planes) a mum came on with her toddler, and we all know how disgusting airplane toilets are. she opened the door after having changed her kid’s nappy, and this kid was crawling all over the toilet floor(which is covered in other folks piss and all sorts) and then the mum sits her back down in the seat, and hands her some food, without cleaning her hands. All I’m thinking is she’s going to have a fun night because her kid is going to be sick as a dog. Some peoples crappy parenting is astounding

how’s this….
i was in Wagamama a couple of weeks ago on a Sunday night with my husband. Two couples near to us had a baby with them. Constantly playing something on YouTube loudly on their phones for the baby to watch. I asked to be moved tables but the only place they could move us to was even closer to them so left it.

anyway, 10 mins later, the mum starts changing the babies nappy right there in the middle of Wagamama - May as well of had it on the end of our table (we were sitting 3 seats down on one of the long benches)

needless to say I almost walked out! I told the manager (peak Karen mode) -and they moved us!

the baby changing room was literally right next to us anyway and … did the mum not want to wash her hands ?? VILE

it was absolutely vile but the manager gave my husband and I all our sides and drinks for free so we saved like £50

 

[judgejohndeed]

Apologies for the rant but…

I wish parents would stop commenting on this thread. I could not care less about your experience of being a parent. I don’t go and comment on the (many) pregnancy/children related threads speaking about my experience of being child free because it’s not wanted.

This! I think it's so weird to see a thread called 'child free by choice' and think 'oh I have kids but that thread is for me'

 

[LaBlonde]

Apologies for the rant but…

I wish parents would stop commenting on this thread. I could not care less about your experience of being a parent. I don’t go and comment on the (many) pregnancy/children related threads speaking about my experience of being child free because it’s not wanted.

i 10000% agree. we seem to have had a lot recently?

some of them have valid input (i found the post about regret very moving and honest) but i mean, it’s a childFREE thread. it’s like me kicking down the door of the sober tattlers thread and telling them all i just had a lovely chardonnay.

like you say, it’s not wanted and we should all keep to the spaces that have been curated for us. i have no interest in someone telling us that they felt differently when they had their own kids, and i’m surprised they saw the title of this thread and thought we would be into it

 

[judgejohndeed]

I also find the parents who are like 'I have kids but I can contribute here because I don't like other people's children' etc really tedious tbh. Not everyone who is child free hates all children, and it's weird to equate being a parent who doesn't generally like kids to being child free. It's a thread for the child free not for child haters in general and while there's some cross over sometimes they're not actually the same thing at all

 

[Mycatoliver]

I have a new colleague she calls her kids ‘kiddos’ which is a pet hate

she’s bemoaning that she can’t do her part time job with two kiddos because she can’t get to breakfast club after school club on time blah blah blah
she wants to be working from home more.
What I don’t understand she had her kids well before the pandemic when she had to be in the office even more so why is it now too difficult to juggle kids and work?

I hate this faux shock by parents shocked they they can’t do everything they want to do now they have kids
It’s a mix of surprise l, self pity and self adulation that you’ve decided to have kids and work/have commitments. Well done

 

[Princesst]

Saw this this morning and I laughed, got angry and rolled my eyes all at the same time so as I feel like a terrible person, you all get to feel it too

As stated above about the crossover between being child free and not liking/hating kids, I often don’t really like kids, or more the lazy parenting that creates issues that affect me when I have to endure them in places. But one thing I never get about parents getting mad about their kids not sleeping at Christmas is … what do they expect?? They spend the whole months of November/December ramming toys/lights/foodChristmas in their faces, some people have trees up already. Christmas is in every shop they insist on dragging them into. They’re let out of school super early so their whole routine is then Christmas! Kids are out of their mind excited for the day and then parents get mad and tell them to constantly go back to sleep. document “up since 4” on Facebook I’ll give the poor children that one day where they can act crazy because it’s been forced on them and created by adults hyping it up. It’s like … what do parents honestly expect? If you’re tired or whatever just have a nap in the day. It’s only 24 hours. I love christmas. I get excited and always wake up ridiculously early. Husband finds it adorable.

 

[LaBlonde]

I also find the parents who are like 'I have kids but I can contribute here because I don't like other people's children' etc really tedious tbh. Not everyone who is child free hates all children, and it's weird to equate being a parent who doesn't generally like kids to being child free. It's a thread for the child free not for child haters in general and while there's some cross over sometimes they're not actually the same thing at all

absolutely this

i don’t hate kids at all and i really dislike, like you say, that people assume that being happily childfree means you must be a child hater, and so this thread is going to be an immediately receptive audience to that sort of thing. almost all of the naughty children stories i see here are directed at the parents too.

ultimately if a post starts “i have children but….” then it doesn’t belong here tbh

As stated above about the crossover between being child free and not liking/hating kids, I often don’t really like kids, or more the lazy parenting that creates issues that affect me when I have to endure them in places. But one thing I never get about parents getting mad about their kids not sleeping at Christmas is … what do they expect?? They spend the whole months of November/December ramming toys/lights/foodChristmas in their faces, some people have trees up already. Christmas is in every shop they insist on dragging them into. They’re let out of school super early so their whole routine is then Christmas! Kids are out of their mind excited for the day and then parents get mad and tell them to constantly go back to sleep. document “up since 4” on Facebook I’ll give the poor children that one day where they can act crazy because it’s been forced on them and created by adults hyping it up. It’s like … what do parents honestly expect? If you’re tired or whatever just have a nap in the day. It’s only 24 hours. I love christmas. I get excited and always wake up ridiculously early. Husband finds it adorable.

fully agree and i thought that reddit post was a little cruel. she’s an excited little girl, of course she’s going to try and stay up. the parents are basically dealing with the consequences of their own actions, poor thing. they didn’t need to say that he was late for all the other children because of her! if they wanted to do a note like that, it could have been much gentler.

 

[shadowcat5]

As stated above about the crossover between being child free and not liking/hating kids, I often don’t really like kids, or more the lazy parenting that creates issues that affect me when I have to endure them in places. But one thing I never get about parents getting mad about their kids not sleeping at Christmas is … what do they expect?? They spend the whole months of November/December ramming toys/lights/foodChristmas in their faces, some people have trees up already. Christmas is in every shop they insist on dragging them into. They’re let out of school super early so their whole routine is then Christmas! Kids are out of their mind excited for the day and then parents get mad and tell them to constantly go back to sleep. document “up since 4” on Facebook I’ll give the poor children that one day where they can act crazy because it’s been forced on them and created by adults hyping it up. It’s like … what do parents honestly expect? If you’re tired or whatever just have a nap in the day. It’s only 24 hours. I love christmas. I get excited and always wake up ridiculously early. Husband finds it adorable.

I read it and went through a whole cycle of emotions hahah!
It went from 'why does an 8 year old still believe in santa?' 'why are these people even writing on reddit about this', most of me though felt heartbroken for a kid who was excited and then has spent the year thinking santa was pissed off with her. Imagine making your child feel crappy about being excited on christmas... so much so that you would genuinely be willing to send a letter from someone your kid idolised, on christmas bleeping day no less. That is going to be a core memory for her and it'll be 10 times worse when she finds out santa isn't real and her parents sent it cause they couldn't handle their own child being too excited to sleep.

 

[pinkmug]

I think it's also hard even for parents who don't want to hype their kids up too much, Christmas is on steroids more and more each year and the religious value aside, children obviously cherish the magic of it the most. If you have children and if you're celebrating Christmas, then I believe you're bound to find some gentle way to ease them into who is actually buying the big presents and if you're hell bent on keeping the Santa story alive, at least don't punish your child for being excited for it So what if the kid was up for hours waiting for Santa? It's an error of judgement to basically send a passive aggressive mail to your daughter because you were cross with her for not going to bed. I feel bad for the girl, I hope she's over it by the end of Christmas this year.

Low key dreading Christmas, even though I love the festive season. The whole present thing is blown way out of proportion and I'd honestly prefer the Icelandic tradition of having a cup of hot chocolate and reading a new book all night over forced festivities and the stress of buying something impressive. Thankfully I haven't any kids in the family so almost everyone is getting gift vouchers, treats and socks

 

[Jane Porcupine]

Apologies for the rant but…

I wish parents would stop commenting on this thread. I could not care less about your experience of being a parent. I don’t go and comment on the (many) pregnancy/children related threads speaking about my experience of being child free because it’s not wanted.

Omg yes, I thought the same thing. Even when it's 'I'm a parent but I regret it because it's sooooo hard', I'm seriously not interested. Go start a relevant thread on another forum. I honestly don't know what they are expecting, sympathy? Wrong audience!

The Christmas ones which make me roll my eyes are the ones where the parents are really angry because someone tells their kid that Father Christmas doesn't exist. (Especially when the kid is like 11 years old and at high school.)

I mean it's your choice to go out of your way to spend years constructing an elaborate lie to fool your kids, but it's not everyone else's responsibility to be in on it with you. And you have to accept that there's a risk that some day, someone might let it slip. Intentionally or otherwise. Plus they have to find out at some point!

 

[mascarara]

I saw a post on LinkedIn that really bugged me. It was this woman saying something along the lines of "I don't care how much you love your pet, your hamster isn't going to grow up and become a contributing member of society. We need better maternity leave etc etc"

It really annoyed me because what does one thing have to do with the other? Yes, lack of maternity leave is a problem. But why do you want to tit all over people who are childfree and love their pets, to make your point? It falls into the same bucket of "You never know really love until you become a mother " and it does my head in.