Childfree by choice #5

[pinkmug]

We went to the theatre last weekend and this poor little lad who must have been 5 max threw up all over the floor and himself, but the parents had both naffed off to get drinks leaving him quite distressed. In the end a lady went over and calmed him down but it took ages for the parents to eventually roll in. We then had 2.5hrs of hot sick smell as they decided that he didn’t need to be taken home but a sick bag would be fine.
I don’t know why you would take a 5yo to an evening performance of an adult play but it wasn’t much fun for anyone sat around him. Utterly baffling and such crappy parenting

This is horrible, poor kid! Surely if your child is unwell enough to throw up everywhere, you don't make yourself comfortable for the rest of the show? Sucks about the tickets but the kid should be your priority as a parent at that point? I can't imagine being that boy, having to sit in a theatre with sick all over me because my mum and dad couldn't be arsed to give up on their night out, and ruin it for everyone else too. I hope nobody was there that night for a special occasion Awful parenting.

I'm happy to let my colleague with kids to have time off during summer holidays, it's my least favourite time to be somewhere near a beach anyway but Christmas/New Year/any other time of the year, it's fair game for everyone. I don't mind parents needing flexibility for emergencies or childcare but the rest of the employees should be offered the same treatment. My hospital appointment or family needs don't matter less because a small child isn't involved.

 

[Caffeine Fiend]

I don't mind parents needing flexibility for emergencies or childcare but the rest of the employees should be offered the same treatment. My hospital appointment or family needs don't matter less because a small child isn't involved.

All of this! Everyone need flexibility and if the last 2.5 years have taught us anything its that its possible some employers seem intent on dragging their heels.

 

[shadowcat5]

Thought you'd all appreciate this

 

[Sheeeet]

I was thinking more like

 

[Pebbleybeach]

Sorry if it’s already been mentioned but also with Christmas under a couple of months away, I’ve found at times that if you don’t have children some colleagues who do have them assume that they’ll be getting all of the Christmas leave they want and that you’ll be in to cover seeing as you don’t have a family - eh but I do! I’ve parents, siblings, nieces, nephews, grandparents who I want to see & spend time with.

Mumsnet is hilarious around Christmas because half the threads are ‘I have to work, isn’t it unfair that childless colleague has booked time off and I have kids’ and the other half is people complaining they can’t have the Christmas they want because their 18+ child has to work and isn’t it so unfair that people with young children get all the time off.

 

[newtoyou]

Thought you'd all appreciate this

View attachment 1685101

I’m so grateful my street do the “no decorations = no knocking” rule so I don’t have to sit in the dark and pretend I’m not home again

 

[ElectricDreams]

It's all very well parents demanding time off in school holidays or wanting Christmas off becauseof the kids but the ones that annoy me are the ones who still do it even though their kids are older and more independent. You know full well they're out with their friends every day of the holidays and wouldn't be seen dead with mum and dad!

My partner said this week at work 9 people have been off for half term (all men) and there had only been him and one other guy holding the fort (both childfree). Most of these blokes are constantly moaning about having to spend time with their kids (one even has both his kids in every after school club/holiday club going and played heavily on the key worker role thing during lockdown, even though he was working from home so his kids could go to nursery every day.)

 

[Millais]

Had anyone seen the March of the Mummies hashtag on Twitter? It’s shocking. Women’s entire salaries going on childcare, women getting fired after having children etc. They have my full support, and I’m joining them in spirit but I certainly won’t be joking them in motherhood!

 

[Caffeine Fiend]

Had anyone seen the March of the Mummies hashtag on Twitter? It’s shocking. Women’s entire salaries going on childcare, women getting fired after having children etc. They have my full support, and I’m joining them in spirit but I certainly won’t be joking them in motherhood!

I did see this and good on them!

 

[Rubyroo160]

Had anyone seen the March of the Mummies hashtag on Twitter? It’s shocking. Women’s entire salaries going on childcare, women getting fired after having children etc. They have my full support, and I’m joining them in spirit but I certainly won’t be joking them in motherhood!

I haven’t seen this but when women complain about their whole salaries going on childcare.. do they not think about this before they get pregnant? Do they not think the people looking after their children should be paid a fair wage? Do they think people should do it for free? I just don’t understand what they want.

 

[Caffeine Fiend]

I haven’t seen this but when women complain about their whole salaries going on childcare.. do they not think about this before they get pregnant? Do they not think the people looking after their children should be paid a fair wage? Do they think people should do it for free? I just don’t understand what they want.

Its all a bit chicken and egg I imagine. Most homes will now need 2 salaries to run. Even cutting back to the bare minimum it could be very difficult to survive on one wage due to high rental / housing costs.

If you restrict having kids to only the super rich, then there will not be enough people coming behind to care for the elderly / pay taxes. We are already seeing the financial effects of that with state pension being pushed later and later.

A shift is definitely needed for subsidised childcare if they wish for birth rates to remain stable. This will allow people to return to work, earning higher wages and paying more tax. Rather than returning part time due to childcare costs.

Whereas years ago most family homes could afford for one parent to be at home all the time with small children.

Countries like Germany, Denmark, Belgium all subsidise childcare. I presume there are more who do.

 

[rosemarina]

I haven’t seen this but when women complain about their whole salaries going on childcare.. do they not think about this before they get pregnant? Do they not think the people looking after their children should be paid a fair wage? Do they think people should do it for free? I just don’t understand what they want.

I really, REALLY hate the way it’s considered to be the mum’s cost to bear alone, to the point that if it’s not loads less than she makes, she might as well not have a paid job. No; if childcare costs £24K a year*, that’s £12K from the father (or other mother), and £12K from the mother in question. Why the duck don’t most women force their men into seeing this as the shared cost it so rightly is?



* I don’t care how much anybody here pays, it’s intended to be purely

 

[ElectricDreams]

Had anyone seen the March of the Mummies hashtag on Twitter? It’s shocking. Women’s entire salaries going on childcare, women getting fired after having children etc. They have my full support, and I’m joining them in spirit but I certainly won’t be joking them in motherhood!

Childcare is very expensive but it should cost a lot more than it actually does. I work in a nursery for minimum wage, I have a foundation degree and 20 years experience. The nursery is chronically understaffed as its impossible to recruit staff as the wages are so low. Our fees are among the lowest in the area but you're looking at just under £50 a day. To pay me and my colleagues a fairer wage it'd price parents out of the market.

 

[judgejohndeed]

I haven’t seen this but when women complain about their whole salaries going on childcare.. do they not think about this before they get pregnant? Do they not think the people looking after their children should be paid a fair wage? Do they think people should do it for free? I just don’t understand what they want.

I think part of the problem as well is being sold the myth that women can ‘have it all’. Like you’ve had your baby you wanted, now you want to go back to work too, now you’re moaning that you have to…pay for someone to take care of that baby while you go back to work? I think it’s common sense that something has to give, personally and I find it quite weird that people complain how expensive childcare is, these are people and facilities looking after the actual human being you created, I’d be more suspicious if that was cheap?!

 

[HeyBabes]

It’s something I’ve never quite understood, moaning about the cost of having a kid (nurseries, childcare, etc) and then complaining that you never get your figure back, you pee yourself when you laugh/sneeze/etc, I mean surely you knew these things before getting in to it? It’s like, you chose to do this

 

[rosemarina]

They kid themselves that it will be different for them.

 

[HoGi]

They kid themselves that it will be different for them.

100% this.

They always think they will be different to every other mum they have ever known.

The baby will slot into their lives with no impact. They will have time for themselves, including time for exercise etc. They will still have nice holidays.

Until they are a few weeks in and realise they are just like every other parent

 

[shadowcat5]

It’s something I’ve never quite understood, moaning about the cost of having a kid (nurseries, childcare, etc) and then complaining that you never get your figure back, you pee yourself when you laugh/sneeze/etc, I mean surely you knew these things before getting in to it? It’s like, you chose to do this

You’d think so but I think many people don’t, not because they don’t know, but because I genuinely believe most pregnancies are not planned. You get pregnant and then that’s your life

 

[mcfeez]

You’d think so but I think many people don’t, not because they don’t know, but because I genuinely believe most pregnancies are not planned. You get pregnant and then that’s your life

Yes, there's lots of women who think this way. My own mum talks about pregnancy like it's something that just happens to women. That we have no control over.

 

[HeyBabes]

Yes, there's lots of women who think this way. My own mum talks about pregnancy like it's something that just happens to women. That we have no control over.

Ah yes, because that's what women fought decades over contraceptive rights for
It just baffles me when couples say they're "shocked" they got pregnant, but then reveal they weren't using contraception, cant be that much of a surprise then eh