Not terrible at all. I couldn’t cope with a child in my house that often and I totally feel you on looking forward to when they grow up. The moody teenage years when they want nothing to do with you sounds like the best stage of having a child
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This part is why we have so many messed up adults imo.
People who shouldnt be having children, who are really messed up from their own childhoods, who havent healed or taken steps to heal and then projecting all of that onto their own kids.
No adult is entitled to unconditional love and children (even adult children) should feel emotionally pulled into loving a parent no matter how they behave or treat you. Its not how it works.
But yes Id agree with you, I do think many people do have children for that reason without fully thinking it through and realising the full impact of having a child.
For full transparency I am a parent and it is the hardest thing in the world trying to parent a child well whilst also healing and dealing with your own childhood trauma.
I also agree with your point, parenting slightly older children for me is rewarding and enjoyable. Being able to share life experiences with them makes those experiences better for me. I enjoy them more with my children. Parenting babies/young kids is not. It just isnt and I found it a slogggg. Hopefully as your partners child gets older it becomes easier for you!
Also definitely get a dog. Best thing ever
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Exactly that. I can relate to older kids as I can talk to them like adults. I can’t seem to revert to kid like behaviour during games or put on the voices etc as I’m ‘supposed to’ I generally speak to all kids the same as I do adults as I don’t know any other way 
I think my mum had me because she was lonely and missing ‘something’ and as stated happens, this has caused me a lot of trauma that I’m still working through because she just wasn’t always a good parent and dumped her emotional tit onto me growing up. She died 4 years ago and it’s only since I’ve understood a lot more of her actions.
I start a new job tomorrow and I discussed yesterday with my partner dropping his daughter home later this afternoon instead of early evening as he usually does so that we could have some time together tonight (I’ll be away for most of this week on training etc)
He agreed to this yesterday when he picked her up at 3pm and today has said, well I don’t just want a 24 hour limit with her so I’ll take her home the usual time. I didn’t react well!
I am fuming at his selfishness to be honest and yes I get his child comes first, but is it too much to ask to spend a couple of extra hours with your partner before they go away for the week?! I gave up my Saturday evening to take us all to a firework display so I feel I’ve done my part at family life, tonight I wanted it to be about me.
Apologies if I sound like a complete brat but I’m just realising that I am always going to be bottom priority in a relationship where a kid is involved aren’t I?! Not sure I can hack it tbh
I think my mum had me because she was lonely and missing ‘something’ and as stated happens, this has caused me a lot of trauma that I’m still working through because she just wasn’t always a good parent and dumped her emotional tit onto me growing up. She died 4 years ago and it’s only since I’ve understood a lot more of her actions.
I start a new job tomorrow and I discussed yesterday with my partner dropping his daughter home later this afternoon instead of early evening as he usually does so that we could have some time together tonight (I’ll be away for most of this week on training etc)
He agreed to this yesterday when he picked her up at 3pm and today has said, well I don’t just want a 24 hour limit with her so I’ll take her home the usual time. I didn’t react well!
I am fuming at his selfishness to be honest and yes I get his child comes first, but is it too much to ask to spend a couple of extra hours with your partner before they go away for the week?! I gave up my Saturday evening to take us all to a firework display so I feel I’ve done my part at family life, tonight I wanted it to be about me.
Apologies if I sound like a complete brat but I’m just realising that I am always going to be bottom priority in a relationship where a kid is involved aren’t I?! Not sure I can hack it tbh
You’ve taken the words right off my keyboard here. In a word, yes. Bottom priority is maybe a bit much. But second priority, absolutely. I understand you’re hacked off and this won’t be what you want to hear, but he isn’t in the wrong for wanting time with his daughter. That’s part and parcel of getting involved with someone who has a young child. He IS in the wrong for agreeing to drop her off earlier and then rescinding it, he should have just said no in the first place. Don’t dwell on it now, enjoy your evening together when she’s been dropped off and good luck with the new job tomorrow.Apologies if I sound like a complete brat but I’m just realising that I am always going to be bottom priority in a relationship where a kid is involved aren’t I?! Not sure I can hack it tbh
Someone I work with got pregnant at 20 with her ex on purpose… she basically slept with him when she knew she was most fertile and didn’t use protection. She claims it wasn’t planned, but we all knew she wanted a baby because she was bored and lonely…
She’s one of these people that’s always desperate for admiration and attention and she can’t stop dating. She’s recently got in a new relationship and her baby (who’s almost 1) has been pushed to the sidelines. She’s posted more of her new partner than she has of her kid ever and now she’s always with him and her kid is with her mum (who she still lives with). It’s just sad and she’s selfish.
why bother having kids if they aren’t your priority.
She’s one of these people that’s always desperate for admiration and attention and she can’t stop dating. She’s recently got in a new relationship and her baby (who’s almost 1) has been pushed to the sidelines. She’s posted more of her new partner than she has of her kid ever and now she’s always with him and her kid is with her mum (who she still lives with). It’s just sad and she’s selfish.
why bother having kids if they aren’t your priority.
I asked my sil what her kid's current interests are as I'm starting Christmas shopping. What she said for my nephew was absolutely shocking. He's just turned 9 and she said his "interests" are youtube (how is that an interest) and video games (call of duty).
My husband and I were horrified. She should be embarrassed saying those are his interests
. Maybe I'm out of touch but he is way too young for COD.
So none of that was useful for gift buying in my opinion.
My husband and I were horrified. She should be embarrassed saying those are his interests
. Maybe I'm out of touch but he is way too young for COD. So none of that was useful for gift buying in my opinion.
What! At that age we would be folding pages of the Argos catalogue wanting Lego, Barbies (played with barbies until I was about 14 inI asked my sil what her kid's current interests are as I'm starting Christmas shopping. What she said for my nephew was absolutely shocking. He's just turned 9 and she said his "interests" are youtube (how is that an interest) and video games (call of duty).
My husband and I were horrified. She should be embarrassed saying those are his interests
So none of that was useful for gift buying in my opinion.
secret!) board games, puzzles etc not you tube!One of the best memories of my childhood was circling toys for Christmas in the Argos catalogueWhat! At that age we would be folding pages of the Argos catalogue wanting Lego, Barbies (played with barbies until I was about 14 in
I used to cut the pictures out the catalogue and make a collage of what I wanted… didn’t get any of it
It's insane.What! At that age we would be folding pages of the Argos catalogue wanting Lego, Barbies (played with barbies until I was about 14 in
A few years back we got our niece a Barbie and her mum said she was too old for it... She was 8. When I was 8 I was still playing with barbies.
I guess the times have changed
They really haveI guess the times have changed
I think my eldest is quite young for their age and even they want so few toys now. However Im 34 and I think by 10/11 I was into my gameboy/playstation. Board games and jigsaws I enjoyed but I dont think I was still playing with toys. Also liked CDs/DVDs but again they barely exist now with on demand streaming everything
Yeah I stopped playing with toys by age 10. Just had my GameCube, Nintendo DS & I liked reading as well.
My half sister played with barbies though until she was about 14.
I always think I’m a big kid though deep down. I think that’s partly why I don’t want kids. I just want to enjoy myself and I can’t see me doing that with kids!
My half sister played with barbies though until she was about 14.
I always think I’m a big kid though deep down. I think that’s partly why I don’t want kids. I just want to enjoy myself and I can’t see me doing that with kids!
I talked about this in the single by choice thread, but my friend has recently gotten pregnant by a man that cheated on her and broke up with her for a very long time. Now suddenly they’re moved in together and expecting.
When they split she was always moaning and worrying that she would never be able to find anyone else to marry and have a baby with. She’s only in her early20s.
I really can’t understand the thought process behind it.
When they split she was always moaning and worrying that she would never be able to find anyone else to marry and have a baby with. She’s only in her early20s.
I really can’t understand the thought process behind it.
Chatting to my neighbour the other week and he told me you're not a woman until you have a child. I didn't know how to respond but it pissed me off.
There's more to life than having a baby and so many people have children when they shouldn't. It's choice and I wish people would mind their own damn business.
There's more to life than having a baby and so many people have children when they shouldn't. It's choice and I wish people would mind their own damn business.
See if someone said something like that to me I would say I had to have a hysterectomy due to uterine cancer or something like that. And then say does that make me less of a woman.
Does that mean men aren't men until they become fathers or does it only work for one sex?
It definitely only applies to one sex.
The neighbour is threatened by you. What a twit.
The neighbour is threatened by you. What a twit.
That would piss me off too. I don't have so much of a problem with people asking if I have/want kids as long as they accept my answer first time and don't try to persuade me otherwise. I would feel very offended by that comment and I'm not sure how I would respond.
Get him a board game, honestly my boys are Roblox mad but put a fun board game out and they love itI asked my sil what her kid's current interests are as I'm starting Christmas shopping. What she said for my nephew was absolutely shocking. He's just turned 9 and she said his "interests" are youtube (how is that an interest) and video games (call of duty).
My husband and I were horrified. She should be embarrassed saying those are his interests
So none of that was useful for gift buying in my opinion.
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