Childfree by choice #5

[HeyBabes]

Sometimes when folk ask me if i have children I start talking about my cat. There’s rarely any follow up questions (unless they’re a cat lover ofc)

 

[mdizzl3]

TBH the people I know with the narrowest interests are parents whose children have grown up and then moved away. These people basically put their eggs in one basket and hoped their children would live on the same street and be round for tea every day, and failed to make any other friends or cultivate real hobbies. Now they sit around moaning they’re lonely, don’t do anything and no-one visits them.
I agree with you in that I personally need a revolving door of varied hobbies and interests to stay happy, but that goes for many parents - driving your kids to activities and gossiping with yummy mummies outside school gates aren’t hobbies and won’t last into your 60s either.

Having a child doesn’t suddenly make you interesting and mean the rest of your life is “sorted”. I’m not really a family person and don’t really get why they are meant to be special or I should bother to see them much, I do it mostly out of obligation and much prefer seeing my friends who I have things in common with. If my parents had relied on me to provide them with entertainment into their 60s they would be sorely disappointed because I visit only when summoned every 3 months!

My in-laws have that constant contact “famalam” (BOAK) relationship that I find really suffocating, and quite often I think they need to get a life rather than reading every single notification from their adult children on their apple watches.

 

[judgejohndeed]

My mum started calling me selfish for possibly not wanting children. I’m sick and tired of this bullshit. Then when I try and explain why that’s a toxic thing to say to someone she gets angry. Stating what else am I going to spend my money on, she said I don’t need anymore “stuff” or “holidays”. I’m actually livid. Anyone else experienced similar things or conversations with their parents?

Yeah my Mum thinks like this too. I have to avoid talking to her about it. She's constantly saying to me stuff like 'what was the point in spending so long at university to earn a high salary and not have any children to spend it on' etc. I like holidays and I don't like children, it's that simple

 

[JOHN1967]

Yes, he is, although it's mainly my side of the family that tends to ask the nosey questions lol.

My own parents are slowly coming to terms with my decision although my mum makes it a point to excitedly tell me about any random family member who is pregnant in the hopes that it might suddenly change my mind.

We were at an Indian baptism once, these are usually big fancy dos, and the priest is usually a guest of honor.

Anyway he says his usual shit, then goes on to say, children are a blessing, and a gift from God. So far, nothing outrageous, then he says, people without children have been cursed by God.

There was nothing anyone could say, without making an unpleasant situation worse.

 

[Anne1448]

Number 2 would piss the mothers from the discontent thread

Let's go for it

 

[newtoyou]

I wish there was child free hours in supermarkets, even when I go at night there’s some in there screaming

 

[shadowcat5]

I do feel for women who have babies and feel shit about their body though I will say. Whenever I see or hear a woman comment about wanting to lose weight after having a baby I think fucking hell you've just grown a whole human being, cut yourself some damn slack!

 

[Satisfying Click]

Her 'too busy' has way more weight than your 'too busy' I'm afraid, as she's getting to know what the meaning of true love is

(Seriously though, that's uncomfortable and strange of her to be monitoring you like that. Perhaps she's a bit envious of you?)

 

[mdizzl3]

My SIL recently gave birth and of course had a nightmare hospital experience ending in forceps. I mentioned that if I was ever in that situation, (hopefully never), I wouldn’t consent to forceps and ask for a c-section. Her husband was like “but by that stage all you care about is the baby, that’s the only important thing”. Well…..no. My vagina not being torn up to my bumhole is also important. I can’t imagine not putting myself first, especially to the extent you’d risk grave injury and your actual health for some creature you’ve not even met yet.

I can’t imagine it. If I ever changed my mind on kids I’d go for an elective section, formula feeding and sleep training for my own sanity, but apparently that’s not “best for baby” and once they’re born you may as well get in the dustbin because you don’t matter anymore.

 

[Sheeeet]

I work soft/play soft

This needs to be the new Live Laugh Love but in a good way

 

[Rubyroo160]

Had anyone seen the March of the Mummies hashtag on Twitter? It’s shocking. Women’s entire salaries going on childcare, women getting fired after having children etc. They have my full support, and I’m joining them in spirit but I certainly won’t be joking them in motherhood!

I haven’t seen this but when women complain about their whole salaries going on childcare.. do they not think about this before they get pregnant? Do they not think the people looking after their children should be paid a fair wage? Do they think people should do it for free? I just don’t understand what they want.

 

[rosemarina]

I CANNOT imagine bearing the awfulness that would be doing a full day at work and then going home to have to do all that for a few hours. It genuinely gives me the fear.

 

[GiftedNotFree]

small dog owners do it too. I used to work in a cafe and people would come and we’d say that no dogs were allowed and they’d be like “well she’s just a chihuahua” and I’d stand there thinking “yes and this is a cafe dickhead. We serve food here????”

This is interesting cos I love dogs generally but just don’t think everywhere should be “dog friendly”. A few weeks ago I was out for my friends birthday and we were in a COCKTAIL BAR and there was a dog there at like 10pm!!!! He was bored senseless and the music was very loud for a small space. Just seemed cruel to me.

 

[newtoyou]

Tbh the thought of a life of motherhood horrifies me more than labour

 

[Rippedjeanmaybe]

i was born in 95 and i never even went trick or treating, let alone carved a pumpkin or did any Halloween activities for that matter.

same at Christmas. I got a chocolate advent calendar, visited Santa when I was tiny and got a stocking and that was it. No elf on the shelf, no fancy advent calendars, no trips out to light shows etc no Christmas Eve box.

even in the summer holidays, I went on a caravan holiday for a week with my grandparents and that was it. No endless days out to the cinema, zoos, theme parks etc I had to learn to deal with boredom.

 

[HeyBabes]

That is 100% shitty parenting no more no less. I only wish someone had walked past that sprog and clotheslined them. Good on you for policing it when flying.
Why would the parents think anyone on that flight is interested in their crotch fruit??

A lot of parents nowadays just remind me of the guy in Titanic trying to get on a lifeboat and screaming “I have a child!” Nobody cares if you have a child, unless the child is related to me somehow, I don’t care about your child

 

[witchofwestbyfleet]

A friend recently had a baby. She's the type of person that has to always have an opinion on everything, is always advocating for some or other cause, etc. You know what I'm talking about lol. Well she is trying to "prove" on her social media that her life isn't over just because she had a baby and a couple of days ago she announced on her Insta stories that she and her husband were taking the baby to the new Black Panther movie. Why would you do that? You will annoy everyone in the cinema with your screaming baby, people have been waiting a long time to see this, and I doubt the baby will enjoy it - she's only a month old and action movies are not the most soothing choice for a newborn

I am also sick of older people telling me "when I was your age I had a house full of teenagers / was having my fifth child / etc and you have none!" Yeah? Too bad, I'm not you

 

[HoGi]

My friend is pregnant at the moment.

She was saying the other day that they need to start thinking about birth plans.

She thankfully said she is quite open to whatever needs doing but if it comes down to her or the baby both her and husband agree it is save her. They would hopefully be able to try for another baby but they can't replace her.

 

[Blond3g1rl]

Forever thankful that I do not have to do elf on the shelf. Each December my ovaries shrivel a bit more

 

[Anne1448]

Just saw a big Twitter thread that started as someone saying they believed more women would choose to be childfree in future after hearing about horrific birth experiences on TikTok. It turned into many many more people sharing horror stories but a lot of them said "I would never tell a pregnant woman any of this." Why wouldn't you? She needs to know what she's in for even if she has chosen to keep the baby

This

Motherhood is NEVER spoken about truthfully because a lot of women LOVE bringing others in miseryland.

If more women talked openly about the cost of childcare, the destruction of their bodies, the loss of their career and the impact on their marriage, Motherhood would literally plummet.