Childfree by choice #5

[ATV2021]

exactly, it also immediately sets you up to feel “wrong”. telling someone that they will feel a complete earth shattering love when their baby moves etc and then they just….. don’t immediately sets the mindset that you must feel immediate connection to your baby and if you don’t then there’s something wrong.

plus, like you say, what do we do when we don’t magically change their minds? what’s the return policy here?!

having a child is a decision, an act, that can never be undone. the idea that it should be treated as a fun experiment to see how you’ll feel when it happens is ridiculous and frankly dangerous to the actual tiny human at the centre of it.



if i were him i think i would have gotten in the car, alone, and driven myself home. she didn’t offer any help while he did all the running around and then decided to tease him on the way home? nope.

also her loudly telling the baby how good she’s being and how she’s the best child isn’t exactly going to help the toddler, who can probably hear that.

Absolutely. And I don't hate children. I'm just not maternal and never have been. You can't just go no ta when you've had enough (well you can but...). I'm told "oh but you're so good with kids"....yeah for 20 minutes tops then I'm exhausted

I love doing some of the xmassy things with my friends kids (i.e Santa's grotto) just for the magic side and the belief but..I also like going home after and cracking out the baileys on my own .

 

[shadowcat5]

Absolutely. And I don't hate children. I'm just not maternal and never have been. You can't just go no ta when you've had enough (well you can but...). I'm told "oh but you're so good with kids"....yeah for 20 minutes tops then I'm exhausted

I love doing some of the xmassy things with my friends kids (i.e Santa's grotto) just for the magic side and the belief but..I also like going home after and cracking out the baileys on my own .

oh not the “youre good with kids” line

People don’t seem to realise that being good with kids and being a good parent is not the same thing.

 

[judgejohndeed]

Just off the alcohol support group to tell them about my nice glass of wine I’m going to have with my dinner. Seeing as no threads appear to be safe spaces.

Glad someone said it, honestly sick of all the 'I have kids but' posts. If you have kids then but nothing, you're not childfree!

Also your life is meant to change when you have a child...I really do not get why people have babies thinking they're just going to go on living their normal life. It's either naivety, or they're going to be neglectful parents.

oh not the “youre good with kids” line

People don’t seem to realise that being good with kids and being a good parent is not the same thing.

I'm always told I'm good with kids, but people don't realise it doesn't come naturally to me and I can only be bothered sustaining that level of effort for a short time. So if I actually had one 24/7, I'd probably be atrocious with it. Also, just because I can be good with kids doesn't mean I enjoy it!

 

[al255]

I think there’s so much pressure on women to have kids and a fella. I am single BY CHOICE and I can’t be bothered with men that’s another thread for me to join…

 

[shadowcat5]

Glad someone said it, honestly sick of all the 'I have kids but' posts. If you have kids then but nothing, you're not childfree!

Also your life is meant to change when you have a child...I really do not get why people have babies thinking they're just going to go on living their normal life. It's either naivety, or they're going to be neglectful parents.


I'm always told I'm good with kids, but people don't realise it doesn't come naturally to me and I can only be bothered sustaining that level of effort for a short time. So if I actually had one 24/7, I'd probably be atrocious with it. Also, just because I can be good with kids doesn't mean I enjoy it!

agreed! i actually don’t dislike kids and I can have a chat with them. My issue is that being able to chat to a kid and tolerate or even enjoy their company is not even remotely similar to being a full time 100% parent. I was listening to a podcast where they interviewed this influencer who was pregnant (age 23) and she was like “well im not nervous cause I’m the oldest sibling so I’ve always been around kids” and I was like yeah being 16 when your mom had your sibling is so not the same as raising your own.

Also I fcking hate make believe play. I don’t want to play shop keeper sod off

 

[5678]

I'm always told I'm good with kids, but people don't realise it doesn't come naturally to me and I can only be bothered sustaining that level of effort for a short time. So if I actually had one 24/7, I'd probably be atrocious with it. Also, just because I can be good with kids doesn't mean I enjoy it!
[/QUOTE]
I could have wrote these exact words myself!! Completely agree!

 

[HeyBabes]

Honestly, I work as cabin crew, and the best contraceptive is working flights during school holidays. Messy screaming kids, parents who can’t be fucked to entertain them or look after their basic needs, dads who wish they were on a flight to magaluf with their single mates, it all seems so depressing. Plus the mess they make, I can only assume their houses are a similar state

 

[penny1992]

Hey guys! Love reading this thread so I thought I’d jump in. I’m 26 and have never wanted kids, I am very work orientated and I couldn’t think of anything worse than giving things up to have kids in the same way that my friends have! A few examples being ‘ can’t go on holiday I have a child’ ‘ i have to be home by 7 because of xyz bedtime’ ‘ oh I look a mess #mumlife’ you get my point but fast forward and I’m 6 months pregnant! I do believe that until you are pregnant and you start feeling your baby ect you don’t realise how much you want/ love that child but I will NOT give anything up! He will be a part of my life and I never want to lose myself in that. How annoying is it when people just use their kids as an excuse to be lazy and have no goals! Only problem is I don’t think I’ll have any mam friends who agree with my views

Your brain is wired to release oxytocin when pregnant and have a baby. That is why you feel that way. Anyway sudies show that pet dogs can create the same hormone for people so I will stick with that. Less costly and they will never yell that they hate you!

 

[mediocrehouseplant]

I had a "friend" who had hers early 20s...liked to try throw it in our faces about how we got to go out at weekends or on holidays, and got decent jobs etc....like we either did it on purpose or CHOSE NOT TO HAVE KIDS lol

To note the "had". Her constant pity me routine wore thin (she's one of those if you've hurt your back, she's broken hers thus she's worse off types)

Ah yes, the old "Eleven-erife" (if you've been to Tenerife...). Very tedious!

I think there’s so much pressure on women to have kids and a fella. I am single BY CHOICE and I can’t be bothered with men that’s another thread for me to join…

Come on over! https://tattle.life/threads/single-by-choice.34175/

 

[Rippedjeanmaybe]

People have said to me before “when you meet the right man you will change your mind”

I’m married…

 

[HeyBabes]

I've bought a few things from SilkFred lately, so thought I'd follow them on Insta, seems all their reels nowadays show dresses on some pregnant lassie. I'm sorry but I'm not following a maternity site, I don't want to see what I want to buy on some pregnant woman, that doesn't help me. Literally all their posts are showing thiis woman, I'm wondering what I've followed now

 

[mdizzl3]

I don’t get the “but you’re so good with kids”….I’m good at cleaning our toilet. Doesn’t mean I want to become a full-time toilet cleaner! Plus the only reason anyone is good with kids is because they have the mental energy to play with them, which ironically they wouldn’t as a full-time parent because they’d be exhausted.

I also don’t think it’s very fair on your kids to have the attitude that they’ll just slot into your life and you don’t have to change anything. We went on a party holiday to Ibiza and met a couple who had just had a baby, but had flown out with their nanny so they could go clubbing. And the rest of my group was like “wow you’re such cool parents”. Not sure I agree…

Feeling very grateful today for my tidy house, ability to spend Sunday sewing and mooching around charity shops, and the fact I slept for 12.5 hours last night

 

[Satisfying Click]

My acquaintances who were insistent that the baby wouldn't change a thing are now divorced

 

[Aemee00]

I am SO glad I've found this thread!

Most people with kids lose their personality. They're incapable of any other thought process that doesn't involve their kids. Everything that isn't about their kids, they will find a way to make it about their kids. No one else gives a tit!

 

[Anne1448]

I think there’s so much pressure on women to have kids and a fella. I am single BY CHOICE and I can’t be bothered with men that’s another thread for me to join…

Shout out to all the single women by choice

As a bisexual woman, I don't know how heterosexual women deal with men. The bar is so looooow.

 

[Pebbleybeach]

Shout out to all the single women by choice

As a bisexual woman, I don't know how heterosexual women deal with men. The bar is so looooow.

As a heterosexual woman - same! I always see stuff online and say it’s evidence sexuality is not a choice to my husband and now he’s started sending me stuff he sees saying the same

 

[chocolatepanda6]

I am SO glad I've found this thread!

Most people with kids lose their personality. They're incapable of any other thought process that doesn't involve their kids. Everything that isn't about their kids, they will find a way to make it about their kids. No one else gives a tit!

My friends son is 11 and she’s constantly whining how she doesn’t get to watch tv as she has to watch what he likes doesn’t have time to exercise because she needs to play with him he’s 11 ffs !! When I was that age I had a tv in my room and spent most of my spare time with friends at their houses or in my room listening to music or gossiping honestly her son will be such a drip if she keeps this up . Funny thing is she’s got time to sit on what’s app and tell everyone in the group chat his every bloody move lost count of the number of times I have said aw or a laughing emoji all the time thinking I don’t care what he’s doing !

 

[Gem_woody]

My friends son is 11 and she’s constantly whining how she doesn’t get to watch tv as she has to watch what he likes doesn’t have time to exercise because she needs to play with him he’s 11 ffs !! When I was that age I had a tv in my room and spent most of my spare time with friends at their houses or in my room listening to music or gossiping honestly her son will be such a drip if she keeps this up . Funny thing is she’s got time to sit on what’s app and tell everyone in the group chat his every bloody move lost count of the number of times I have said aw or a laughing emoji all the time thinking I don’t care what he’s doing !

'Aw haha' is my go-to as I never know what to say in response to my friends texts/photos about their toddlers . The one I got this weekend was a photo of him dressed as a pumpkin at a pumpkin patch .
Also speaking of, it seems like everyone in the uk with kids or babies goes to pumpkin patches in the last couple of years (for instagram photos)?! Maybe people have always done it and I'm only just noticing because everyone around me has kids now.

 

[HandTmum]

'Aw haha' is my go-to as I never know what to say in response to my friends texts/photos about their toddlers . The one I got this weekend was a photo of him dressed as a pumpkin at a pumpkin patch .
Also speaking of, it seems like everyone in the uk with kids or babies goes to pumpkin patches in the last couple of years (for instagram photos)?! Maybe people have always done it and I'm only just noticing because everyone around me has kids now.

I agree I don’t get the hype! Seems to be a photo op more than anything else and something that’s come over from America. Personally I cannot imagine anything more boring!

 

[Pebbleybeach]

I agree I don’t get the hype! Seems to be a photo op more than anything else and something that’s come over from America. Personally I cannot imagine anything more boring!

I don’t get pumpkin patches because you’re not even picking a pumpkin, the pumpkins are pre-picked and loose on the floor, so you just walk around a muddy field looking for the ‘best’ pumpkin? And pay loads for it when you could get one for about £1 in a clean supermarket… and loads of the photos and videos I see are kids crying and having tantrums or being ‘naughty’ so I double don’t get it then! At least if the kids enjoyed it l, that’s be something but funnily enough most kids don’t like walking around cold muddy fields and posing for photos next to pumpkins!