At risk of sounding like a ginormous twat of a human here, I rarely agree to babysit. If I wanted to spend the little spare time I have with kids, then I'd have my own.
At risk of sounding like a ginormous twat of a human here, I rarely agree to babysit. If I wanted to spend the little spare time I have with kids, then I'd have my own.That’s very unfair to put pressure on you like that, then make you feel guilty when you can’t babysit for them. You said it was because they had taken on work, but when you have children you should make sure you have childcare arranged before you accept extra work / social invitations or whatever it is. Not be scrambling around desperately trying to find someone at the last minute.
Plus, as child free people why do we have to be doing anything else for us to say no? Sometimes I just can’t be bothered, so when my brother asks me to have my nephew I say no and don’t give him a reason. Otherwise I feel as though I’m making excuses, and why should I? I don’t have to justify how I spend my time to anybody
Exactly, it costs a lot to put animals in care for a holiday, and childcare is expensive. My partner has a cousin who palms her kids off on different family members most weekends and just kind of cycles between them all, meanwhile she goes out on the piss with her friends. I'm not begrudging her the odd night out, but why bother having children if you don't actually want to do anything with them at weekends? I just don't understand it. She doesn't even send them off with nappies or milk or anything, so there's even more cost for the other family members when looking after them. It's really cheeky.I hope I will grow a thick skin over timeI hate saying no but at the same time makes me pull even harder in the other direction when people get huffy. I don’t ask them to mind my dogs when I’m away for a weekend so don’t ask me to mind your kids please
Wow that’s awfulExactly, it costs a lot to put animals in care for a holiday, and childcare is expensive. My partner has a cousin who palms her kids off on different family members most weekends and just kind of cycles between them all, meanwhile she goes out on the piss with her friends. I'm not begrudging her the odd night out, but why bother having children if you don't actually want to do anything with them at weekends? I just don't understand it. She doesn't even send them off with nappies or milk or anything, so there's even more cost for the other family members when looking after them. It's really cheeky.
I feel like I know loads of people with kids who are like this.Exactly, it costs a lot to put animals in care for a holiday, and childcare is expensive. My partner has a cousin who palms her kids off on different family members most weekends and just kind of cycles between them all, meanwhile she goes out on the piss with her friends. I'm not begrudging her the odd night out, but why bother having children if you don't actually want to do anything with them at weekends? I just don't understand it. She doesn't even send them off with nappies or milk or anything, so there's even more cost for the other family members when looking after them. It's really cheeky.
I love that. Your mum prefers you to be mentally well, yes!I got the "maybe you'll change your mind" bingo dab the other day from a work colleague. She also decided to deep dive with "but won't your mother be disappointed?" too. Way to project your own feelings? My Mum has a lot of vintage soap operas to watch and is quite content thanks.
I just said that my Mum would prefer me to be mentally well instead. I also cited "environmental worries" but didn't go all in on that one because the colleague's pre-teen daughter was there and if I was her age now I would be permanently freaking out anyway.
I'm 21 soon and I've always realised that I couldn't see myself wanting kids. I knew even as a young girl I'd never dream about having kids. When I was about 10 or 11 my mum ended up babysitting my little cousin, by then I thought no way and I haven't wavered since. I know it sounds absurd to have known so young but my opinion hasn't changed in those 10 years.When did you all decide that you weren't gonna have kids? I am 25 and as it stands i couldn't ever imagine having my own kid, but my friends and family seem to have a lot of opinions on that and say i cant say how ill feel in the future right now. I have quite an active schedule, i work full time and then spend most evenings exercising or socialising. Then i try and spend weekends away on city breaks and doing whatever i want.
I date men but i find them so fickle, and i feel like as a woman you are much more likely to be pressured to take all the childcare responsibility whilst the man does the bare minimum, and it is another story entirely if you split up i guess.
My reason is pretty much that i don't want to bring a kid into the world and resent it in any way for ruining what i have right now, which is a pretty comfortable, carefree life. I am one of the only ones left of my school year who's not got kids and i constantly get asked by some family members why im not with anyone and am i going to have kids. Annoying.
I'm like a reverse Marie Kondo where I get a lot of joy in saying no to things. I used to find it really challenging, but the more I did it, the easier it got - especially with the huffers and puffers as deep down, their response demonstrated that they knew they were taking the piss.I hope I will grow a thick skin over timeI hate saying no but at the same time makes me pull even harder in the other direction when people get huffy. I don’t ask them to mind my dogs when I’m away for a weekend so don’t ask me to mind your kids please
Perhaps he should have had a vasectomy if he was so adamant he never wanted children though.I know it really is awfulI think it’s making it worse as she is literally telling everyone. I’m sure he wouldn’t want everyone knowing their business esp when it’s about something so personal. It is not going to end well
Exactly, don't create reasons you can't, just say, 'oh sorry I have plans already'.I had to learn the skill of saying no, no long explaining excuses why or reasons with apologies. Just simply no thanks or I am already busy.
Busy in my PJs watching Netflix and eating biscuits - is still busy timeor watching YouTube videos of my next adult only holiday
I would have got bollocked for getting a detention, that in itself was enough of a deterrentI thought it was safe to return to FB after all the back-to-school pictures, but instead was a selfie of someone I know with her daughter. Her daughter was given her first detention so the mum took her out shopping afterwards to celebrateand all the fawning in the comments. Sweeping generalisation: I'm so disappointed in my generation and the lousy parents that have been churned out.
I've never been asked to babysitthe benefits of having a working pattern where you can cite a late finish as an excuse.
So we had the conversation again over this friend of his who’s pregnant, and I reiterated again that if it really was non negotiable (because I might not change my mind) then I’d let him go and he said ‘but it’s not as simple as that, I can’t just find any woman to have kids with, it’s you I love’ so I guess that’s kind of reassuringHe’s not the only one who would be missing out on something, I really really want to get married, to me that’s more important than kids and that is what I imagine doing rather than having kids, but he doesn’t want to get marriedSo I’m also missing out on something but I’ve decided I can live with not getting married. So if he did decide that kids were non negotiable then I’d also be angry and upset from that point of view that I’ve decided to stay with him knowing I might never get married, but he’d be leaving because I don’t want kids. Hmm maybe we really shouldn’t be together we’ve survived lockdown, but I’ve really been thinking about the big stuff recently, I feel like I’m changing and our relationship is changing too which isn’t necessarily a bad thing but why is life so complicated??
It’s the entitlement, everyone else has to be silent to suit their needs but god forbid they consider anyone else around them!Some people are utterly oblivious. I hate it when parents allow their children to screech and scream, there's playing noise, and then there's being a nuisance.
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