I am finding it increasingly hard to pay attention when people talk about kids . I called a family member who always manages to turn the conversation to pointless kid things e.g. 'Leo is bouncing in his chair ' I honestly couldn't give a ***k . Why do I need to know this..
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The thing that really gets me is when an old friend sends me a text message, we chat back and forth for a bit, and then - totally unsolicited- she sends me a picture of her kids. If I’m really lucky, it’s a picture of her kids AND her sister’s flipping kids too 
.
.Could it be they wanted kids. Where as you have made the choice to not have.My mum is staying here for Christmas. Her sister (my aunt) is very high maintenance and appeared to fall out with us on Christmas Day because we weren't texting her throughout the day. My aunt and uncle are childfree.
We were talking about my aunt's behaviour last night and my mum said several times, "I think it's jealousy because she doesn't have children." Or, "I think she's lonely because she doesn't have children."
I said, you do realise you are saying this to my face? I don't have have children either!
My mum has always readily accepted that I didn't want them, and then conversations like this happen and you realise actually they *do* think there's something missing in your life.
I don’t know that woman, but my heart goes out to her. Having to continue to be pregnant against your will is so, so awful.
full credit to her for speaking so honestly and beautifully about this. the fact that she had to (in her words) “sit with” the pregnancy for two weeks, over christmas, is awful and requires some serious mental strength.
i was just reading an article about long-term single women which mentions that the happiest subgroup, in any country over any survey, is always older single women with no children, closely followed by older married women with no children.
it means a great deal to me that, over the past two years, i’ve definitely seen a big increase in women (and men!) speaking about being childfree. i guess being in a pandemic makes you really evaluate your life and be honest about what makes you happy.
I feel for that woman and anyone else in that position. What’s really sad about it is it didn’t have to be this way. A woman who knows she definitely doesn’t want children should be able to get sterilised so that she never has to worry about an unplanned pregnancy in the first place. 
I love that she's spoken out about this. There is STILL such a stigma around abortion and it really blows my mind.
I had a pregnancy scare a few years ago (it turned out to be nothing) but for the week or so that I thought I might be pregnant, I was on the verge of tears. And not the happy kind! It was like I was grieving for my old life.
I'm not sure what I would have done if the result had been different but I'm so glad I didn't have to make that choice in the end.
I always worry so much about being pregnant, it’s always in the back of my mind… it doesn’t help that I can’t have any kind of ailment without people asking me if I’m bloody pregnant 
for example:
-migraine
-vertigo
-really bad cold
-sickness due to my coeliac disease
-tiredness
to name a few, all of the above things that I have mentioned to people in the past people have responded, “you’re not pregnant are you?” No I’m not bleeping pregnant!
for example:
-migraine
-vertigo
-really bad cold
-sickness due to my coeliac disease
-tiredness
to name a few, all of the above things that I have mentioned to people in the past people have responded, “you’re not pregnant are you?” No I’m not bleeping pregnant
!
I've just finished reading paddy McGuiness book. It was really good! But on the marriage and kids chapter he says, the only problem with parenthood for me apart from the lack of sleep, stress, exhaustion, house being ruined and having nothing for yourself is the worry. This is true so why do people still insist on having them? I just don't understand it.
the worry is a big one for me. i would hate having to entertain and look after a child 24/7 but i also have massive anxiety and i know, as soon as that child was out of my sight, i would live in a state of intense paranoia - like if they’re being bullied in school, do they have a medical issue i’m missing, are they putting their hand in a plug socket, is anyone being mean to them etc, and that anxiety would probably never pass. not to mention when they’re babies and there’s a soft part of their head where their skull hasn’t formed yet, i can’t deal with that worry in my life.
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To be fair he has a lot to worry about. All his kids have additional needs.
Yeah I know, that's not what I meant though. I meant this is how it is anyway without having autistic children too, so I don't get why people want them. If you get what I mean.
I think you worry for a while until you find your feet and then you don’t worry so much. Or maybe that’s just me
Oh ok lol.I think you worry for a while until you find your feet and then you don’t worry so much. Or maybe that’s just me
Probably each person is different then.I think it's interesting, I saw other people's mums growing up who just didn't give a s*** and let their kids get on with it. You know the girls who grew up too quick and did everything by the time they was 13/14?
It's like they are more independent and confident because of it. Although that's not the case for everyone who's parent didn't really care. Do you know what I mean though?
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Hope this doesn’t derail the thread too much but I wonder if anybody may have any advice.
Recently realised that between the pandemic, changing jobs, working from home, some friends moving to different countries and other friends having kids and disappearing, our social circle has shrunk to nothing. I appreciate that my age group is mostly busy parenting and new social circles are formed around schools and sports clubs for the kids.
We have a lot of good friends living abroad but that’s not enough for regular interactions.
Pandemic restrictions notwithstanding (as hopefully they won’t last forever!), how do childfree couples go about making new friendships?
Recently realised that between the pandemic, changing jobs, working from home, some friends moving to different countries and other friends having kids and disappearing, our social circle has shrunk to nothing. I appreciate that my age group is mostly busy parenting and new social circles are formed around schools and sports clubs for the kids.
We have a lot of good friends living abroad but that’s not enough for regular interactions.
Pandemic restrictions notwithstanding (as hopefully they won’t last forever!), how do childfree couples go about making new friendships?
I’ll be honest, we’ve never had any friendships really and we aren’t interested in having them either.
i have a best friend that I’ve had since childhood, I see her and her son on my own, although my partner has met her, we don’t all mix together.
my partner has a couple of friends that he sees every now and again, without me, although I have met them too.
we also occasionally go out with my partner’s sister (she’s a similar age to us) to events.
and that’s it. We’ve both been hurt badly in the past by our respective friends/friendship groups (before we met each other) and neither of us is fussed about having anymore. We don’t feel like we are missing anything.
Sorry, I know that’s not helpful, it’s just different things for different people I guess! I think this is part of the reason we aren’t fussed about having kids, A) we don’t have anyone around us with kids and B) we don’t really have a big support network so we are used to being just the two of us.
Honestly I don't know. My husband and I are reasonably antisocial, so doesn't hugely bother me. A few of his friend circle are also childfree but don't live that near us. Everyone around me, however, has a baby or wants a baby now, or in the future and i worry about my social circle in 5 years time.
Thanks for replying! I do think that’s helpful. My other half doesn’t seem bothered at all by the lack of people around us, they are pretty happy with just the two of us, and so am I most of the time. I should also add we don’t have family in the country either and that’s probably partly what bothers me but it’s not something I can change.I’ll be honest, we’ve never had any friendships really and we aren’t interested in having them either.
i have a best friend that I’ve had since childhood, I see her and her son on my own, although my partner has met her, we don’t all mix together.
my partner has a couple of friends that he sees every now and again, without me, although I have met them too.
we also occasionally go out with my partner’s sister (she’s a similar age to us) to events.
and that’s it. We’ve both been hurt badly in the past by our respective friends/friendship groups (before we met each other) and neither of us is fussed about having anymore. We don’t feel like we are missing anything.
Sorry, I know that’s not helpful, it’s just different things for different people I guess! I think this is part of the reason we aren’t fussed about having kids, A) we don’t have anyone around us with kids and B) we don’t really have a big support network so we are used to being just the two of us.
I’m thinking of picking up some social hobbies when life gets back to normal, hopefully that will help as I feel a bit isolated at the moment.
We lost about 30% of our social circle to parenthood in the last 5 years. I know it sounds mean, but we ended up having 0 in common with all of them as they legit made parenthood their only personality trait.
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