Childfree by Choice #2

[GirlOnTheTrain]

This is the story of my life! I hate how parents assume you are going to find their kids as charming and adorable as they do.

I have a very small and very cute dog who unfortunately is a child magnet. We were in the pub last weekend and a kid (about 3 or 4 years old I'm guessing) came over to stroke him. That in itself is fine but he proceeded to hang around our table for our whole visit annoying me, my husband and our dog. And the parents did nothing! I go to the pub to have a relaxing drink and a conversation - not to entertain someone else's child!

(Don't even get me started on kids in pubs because I could moan for hours!)

I could rant for DAYS about annoying kids in pubs!

 

[Influencing is not a job]

I hate when parents bring their children somewhere and then just let them off and don't mind them. Sorry I didn't come here to be a glorified babysitter. Leave them at home if you don't want to be looking after them!

 

[Satisfying Click]

I'm not a fan of babies or young children being in adult spaces, no matter how behaved they are (or the parents think they are ). It's the, "Having a child hasn't changed anything! ," type of parent most likely to bring them to places that are totally inappropriate for kids.

 

[Traveler001]

I'm not a fan of babies or young children being in adult spaces, no matter how behaved they are (or the parents think they are ). It's the, "Having a child hasn't changed anything! ," type of parent most likely to bring them to places that are totally inappropriate for kids.

Like hen nights/weekends How many times have their been threads on *insert name of a popular parenting site* about it. And the other week someone wanted to take their toddler on a work night out on there

 

[it’s not been changed?!]

Like hen nights/weekends How many times have their been threads on *insert name of a popular parenting site* about it. And the other week someone wanted to take their toddler on a work night out on there

No way!! You’re joking about the end part? Right??!

 

[Traveler001]

No way!! You’re joking about the end part? Right??!

Nope! She wanted to know if a particular buffet restaurant that I forget the name of was suitable for her toddler because she planned to take the toddler on a work night out rather than leave the toddler with the dad because the dad 'deserves a childfree night' but her mums said jot to take the toddler so she wanted to know if it was OK because she'd been there before and seen loads of families with kids so she thought it'd be fine... loads of people said the resferaunt is fine for kids but the event isn't and she said most of them are parents as well so she thought it would be OK and loads of people said they'd hate it if they went to the effort to find childcare for a night out and then had to put up with someone else's kid.

 

[Influencing is not a job]

Or the parents who decline wedding invites coz their children weren't invited

 

[Eureka]

Or the parents who decline wedding invites coz their children weren't invited

To be fair that could be down to cost. Weddings are expensive enough with additional costs of all day babysitting.

 

[mrsbucket]

From the child's perspective, a pub is such a boring place to be. I can speak from experience - as a child I was dragged to the pub most days (my mum is a publican not an alcoholic btw)

I think the pubs with *shudder* play areas are okay for kids but 90% of pubs don't have them and it's unreasonable to expect a young child to sit quietly for that amount of time. I think there should be specific family pubs for kids and the rest should be strictly child-free. Just my opinion though - I'm sure many parents would string me up for saying it!

 

[Rippedjeanmaybe]

I was a 95 baby and my mum did take me to the pub, she would meet a friend and her child there. This was the 90’s though and we knew how to behave, we kept ourselves to ourselves and didn’t bother any adults.

nowadays kids are way too entitled and think the world revolves around them, they’re too confident with strangers and they just do whatever they please.

if I dared show my mum in public, I’d get a smack when I got home.

 

[Anne1448]

Or the parents who decline wedding invites coz their children weren't invited

Oh yl god this reminds me of my cousin's wedding. She brought her 5 children (all below the age of 10) and they were running around, screaming and acting like savages. When other parents told her to mind her kids she replied that they were simply children having fun. But the other kids were well-behaved.

I don't know if it is a new parenting style or what but I have seen a lot more badly behaved children in the last decade than before.

 

[it’s not been changed?!]

Oh yl god this reminds me of my cousin's wedding. She brought her 5 children (all below the age of 10) and they were running around, screaming and acting like savages. When other parents told her to mind her kids she replied that they were simply children having fun. But the other kids were well-behaved.

I don't know if it is a new parenting style or what but I have seen a lot more badly behaved children in the last decade than before.

Oh yeh. Definitely. My 21 y/o half brother has been indulged by my stepmum as it’s her only child. If he was ever on the verge of breaking something when he was a child “dad will get a new one”

 

[Falkor]

People are really funny about kids not being invited to weddings, aren't they? We got married at a fairly small venue and had to limit guest numbers, so it was family children only. One of our guests asked if her invite included her three children, Mr F explained and she got very huffy and said if her kids weren't invited then she wasn't either. Fine, we'll take you off the list. My brother didn't go to our cousin's wedding because it was completely child free and they were offended they couldn't take their 6-year-old.

 

[Caffeine Fiend]

Or the parents who decline wedding invites coz their children weren't invited

Id say thats down to childcare probably. Not everyone has someone able to care for a kid for what more often than not is 24h or more. I havent attended a wedding that wasnt an overnight for at least 10 years (people keep getting married miles away and / or in the middle of nowhere)

We are lucky we do have childcare but if we didnt I wouldn't feel comfortable using a stranger to watch my children.

If we didnt have childcare, it would probably be that one of us would attend and one wouldnt.

Id imagine most parents would jump at the chance of a child free day out, or I would

 

[Influencing is not a job]

Some of the people I know who have requested their children be invited is just down to them not wanting to leave them or thinking that the children would really enjoy the day.
Maybe I'm a bit harsh as I am child free so what would I know, and I understand childcare can be very expensive if you don't have family to help and you need to trust the people, but I still don't think the bride and groom should feel obliged to invite children down to the parents childcare reasons. If a couple want a child free wedding, I think they should be allowed have that without feeling guilt or having people fall out with them.

 

[Sideboard Bob]

I don’t think this just applies to working mothers or even mothers. Even in relationships I know with no kids the emotional baggage always seems to default to the women.

That’s a good point, totally. I’m “man free by choice“ as well as childfree so I didn’t think of that.

 

[Caffeine Fiend]

Oh people should absolutely be able to have child free weddings thats fair equally people should also be able to choose not to go if they dont have childcare or would rather take their kids (why I have no idea)

The only time I would have turned down an invite that didnt include my kid was when I was exclusively breastfeeding a baby who wouldn't take a bottle. I couldnt have gone without them, sadly

Im only speaking from my own experience so I dont know about other people. We are fortunate enough to have childcare providing the wedding isnt a Tuesday 50 miles away. Soon as I see that childfree wedding invite I am RSVP furiously.

 

[Satisfying Click]

Some people are very thorny about the issue of childfree weddings (see popular parenting site). We wanted it adults only, nobody was huffy over it. One person couldn't attend (the wife of one of the best men who didn't have anyone to look after the children) we sent her a case of wine

 

[Inforapenny]

Meh we're having our wedding next year. No kids invited. All my cousins are refusing to come because I've said no to kids.
Weddings are about drinking, food, speeches and dancing until late at night.....nothing kids enjoy.
One of my colleagues brought her baby to an event and was showing it off trying to get me to hold it.....it had a scabby head and skin was flaking off. Please take it away.

 

[Eureka]

Always important to remember that a wedding invitation is just that: an invitation. It’s not a summons. So, as a guest, you don’t have to go if it is childfree and you don’t have access to a sitter. Equally though, as a bride or groom, if you put obstacles in the way such as no children or a foreign destination then don’t be surprised if you have people decline.